Being on holiday has made this problem even worse! Ok, I'm going to give Wilma a few minutes here to pick herself up off the floor and clean up her morning cup of coffee she just spluttered all over her kitchen reading that statement. She KNOWS exactly what I am talking about!
Truth be told, my husband and I are both terrible night owls and during this time off work neither of us have been getting to bed at a reasonable hour, or even close to it.
Most nights my husband has to tell me to go to bed. No problem when he is here. When he is away he will ring or text and tell me to go to bed, which I do. The problem is that I then proceed to settle down with a bedtime drink, pick up my phone and trawl the internet, read blogs, even comment on some etc. It can be up to an hour and a half after he tells me to go to bed that I actually finally settle down to lights out. I have also been known to pick up the phone during the night and check emails. Sheesh .. no wonder you have problems sleeping Roz! yeah yeah, I know!
Obviously this is something we are both going to have to work on prior to going back to work.
This afternoon we were sitting together cuddling during by the beach and I mentioned how bad these habits had become. He lifted my chin up to meet his face so that I had to look him in the eye and kept his hand there so that I couldn't look away
Ok. No more phone. No more blogs in bed. Understand? this was said with that 'or else' look
Yes Sir
This
Equals this
And hopefully results in this
Ok, I know what you're going to say. Just turn off the phone ... right? Simple. In theory yes. But, it is such a habit and also so tempting, especially if don't really feel like going to sleep. I also prefer to leave the phone on when Rick is away. Just in case. Also, so that I don't miss him if he rings or text the next morning (although I don't always hear it ... he he).
This is going to take some effort and willpower on my part. Perhaps I should just get used to turning the phone off. I really don't want to let my husband down on this.
As a side note, Rick was away last night and when I went out to pick him up for our outing this afternoon I was confronted with a Police checkpoint, checking for drivers licence and vehicle warrant of fitness. Although I knew I had nothing to worry about anxiety set in. I don't know why really. Of course, I left the checkpoint no problem. I told Rick about the checkpoint when I met him and told him I was more than happy for him to take over driving as I was feeling a bit unnerved. I mentioned something about authority figures. He just looked at me with a big knowing smile on his face as if to say you know whose authority you have to watch out for.
Funny how these situations make me even more nervous now. Knowing that any trouble with the Police will mean A LOT of trouble with my husband!
Interesting...like the TIME you posted this post!!!
ReplyDeleteYes you are night owl, selfishly this works for me :) BUT the Man About The House is too....also worked for me. *wink*
It will be a difficult habit to break, but you'll most likely be better for it ( me not so much- but I digress). Think of it as an exercise in submission...I'll help- I'll "YELL" at you if I 'see' you around. Tell you to get your night gown on and turn off the electronics. Those kind have no place in the bedroom !
Love ya!
Willie
Hi Wilma, LOL yeah, yeah I know. I posted it late .. but ... I hadn't been told to go to bed at that stage. Well, tell the truth it was more like publish it then BED - Argh!
DeleteSheesh, I already have one HoH, now you too!! Besides, I thought you only YELLED at HoH's, like Ryan and Steven ... oh yeah, and Lucy and Emma :)
Seems like such a silly little thing, and the solution even easier huh? But it's soo much a habit for me. So far so good though :)
Hugs
Roz
Wow Roz you better watch out, Wilma sounds like she is a pretty frightening authority figure herself! ;)
ReplyDeleteI have the same problem when Brice is out of town. I stay up reading and whatnot because I can't sleep, then 6am comes pretty quick. I do think the electronics make it harder to fall asleep, even after you put them down....but at the same time, they are company in a lonely bed.
Let me know if you find something new that helps!
Hi Betsy, Welcome and thank you for commenting.
DeleteYeah, Wilma can be quite scary, that's for sure! But I know she loves me really (right Wilma? :)
These electronics are definitely habit forming, and play havoc with sleeping patters. I've now resorted to switching it off so the temptation isn't there. Doesn't stop me lying there thinking "hmm, I wonder what's waiting for me on my phone" though - dang it lol
Hugs
Roz
Hey Roz....must be something in the air with these men....and our sleep habits...or lack there of. I have been accused of being a little feisty if I visit blogland right before bedtime.....of all the NERVE!!!! ;)
ReplyDeleteIt is a hard habit to break....but I do think that Rick (and maybe even Ryan) may be right....yuck....that tasted bad! ;)
Best of luck as you try and adjust to your new way of life....
~Lucy
Hi Lucy,
DeleteLol, there definitely seems to be something in the air. I still visit blogland before bed, just not allowed to anymore once I'm in bed. It's a damn hard habit to break ... but ... so far so good.
I guess our guys may right eh - sigh!. Yuck you're right, that did taste bad Lol
Hugs
Roz
I don't blame you for wanting your phone close when Rick is not home and it should be close enough to get to easily. Could you easily turn it back on if necessary. If so, then just keep it close but turn if off. If not, I think you just have to train yourself not to be a "slave" to it, rather be a "slave" to your husband's "suggestion".
ReplyDeleteHi Sunny,
DeleteSuch an easy solution really isn't it? I just didn't want to do it though, coupled with not wanting to sleep through any texts/calls etc the next morning from him if he's away.
I have resorted to turning it off to avoid temptation, but it is next to me should I need it. I know, such a simple solution, but such a hard habit to break.
Hugs
Roz
I agree that it sounds as if the only way to break your habit is to turn off your phone before going to bed, at least until the habit is broken. Habits are usually stronger than willpower, and you've got it bad.
ReplyDeleteIs there a landline in your home, so you can still be contacted in an emergency?
Hi Kevan, Thanks for reading and for your comment. I recall you were the first to comment when I first started the blog. I remember feeling so excited to have received a comment!
DeleteYou and Sunny are right of course. Such a simple solution right? but not easy for a junkie like me to do lol. I have now resorted to switching it off but keeping it near me in case I need it. The temptation is still there though.
We do have a landline which can be used in case of any emergency.
Hugs
Roz
Hard to break but I would suggest while Rick is at home, leave the phone downstairs but have it on and with you when he's away.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Ronnie
xx
Hi Ronnie, it's a real hard habit to break, but so far so good.
DeleteFunnily enough, it's not a problem when he's home, only when he's away. I always switch it off when he's here, in fact it's quite often left in another room. He wouldn't tolerate me playing with the phone in bed when he's here.
I have resorted to switching it off now but keeping it with me. There is always the landline if he, or anyone else needs to get hold of me.
Hugs
Roz
This sort of thing I know nothing about. Zero. Zip. Zilch. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
ReplyDeleteGood luck Roz! ;)
Hi Grace, Thank you, I might just need it!
DeleteAre you sure you know nothing about this? Me thinks you protest too much:) Much as I hate to do so, I've now resorted to turning it off to avoid temptation.
Hugs
Roz
I feel like I am always asking, "so...is this like, a new rule or something?" lol. We seem to have more of these kinds of 'expectations' than actual 'line drawn in the sand RULES' here too. As long as they make their expectations clear, I guess it doesn't really matter what it's called, does it? And...if there is any confusion at all, they are always willing to clear that right up for us, huh? Good luck with bedtime Roz!
ReplyDeleteHi Tess, Lol, you are so right, doesn't really matter if it's a rule as such or not does it.
DeleteI'm right there with you, I do exactly the same thing Lol. I can go you one better. I have a stupid habit of opening my moth so wide the rule gets expanded! This one is a good example. "from now on, no more blogging in bed" ... "um, what about emails?" ... "NO" Lol
I joked with Rick yesterday about this stupid habit of mine and how dumb I am and he said "nothing wrong with a bit of clarification". Sigh!
I know, I know. Off to find a brick wall to bang my head against now!
Hugs
Roz
ICK, rules.
ReplyDeleteI have bedtime rules that last all day, thanks to a recent problem with sleeping. If the rules help you develop positive sleep habits, I think that is a good thing.
I have actually been sleeping about 5-6 hours a night - then dosing after I read for a little. Ian's behavioural changes (for me) have really helped, and in the long run - although I about froze when I was out this morning for an hour, have me hitting the pillow very tired.
Good luck, my friend
hugs
lillie
Hi Lillie,
DeleteI'm with you sister - rules = ick
I read about your new regime on your blog and hope you are managing to stick to it all. So glad to hear it is helping you.
Rules are ick but our guys only have our best interest at heart and are doing it for our own good (splutter, splutter. That tasted real bad :)
I know it's a very bad habit an not good for me. Early days yet but I'm hoping it will in some part help with the insomnia.
Hugs
Roz
Tess had me giggling - that is so me...when I am feeling Ward out about something - "so.....so,is..." lol. When I say it he always chuckles.
ReplyDeleteEven if the initial idea may bristle, it does feel lovely that they care enough to set boundaries and take care of us in all those ways.
(((hugs)))
Hi June, Tess had me giggling too, that is soo me also. I'm even worse that than though (see my reply to Tess).
DeleteYou are so right. It does feel lovely that they do these things, it makes me feel so cared for and loved. When he introduces a new rule/expectation or tells me to do something or not do something I both tingle in a good and bad way. Ttwd is so contradictory isn't it? My mind boggles sometimes Lol
Hugs
Roz
Lisa has a very old fashioned phone. Just phone and text.
ReplyDeleteNo email, no internet, no problems.
Usually she sleeps like an angel.
Only when she really cannot sleep, she goes downstairs to drink some tea. And play with her tablet, I'm afraid.
Hi Bas, Your comment is spooky because when we were talking about this, right before telling me no more phone in bed, Rick said "I'll take it off you and give you a plain phone with just calling and text" - eek! I'd never cope with that!
DeleteHugs
Roz
It is so tempting to just check emails or facebook or blogger just one more time... that's my problem, too.
ReplyDeleteHi Elle, It's way too easy ... and even harder to try and train yourself out of doing!
DeleteHugs
Roz
I think I agree with the suggestion to leave your phone downstairs if there is going to be consequences. I'm usually exhausted by 10pm and go to sleep without any problem, but then wake about 2am and can't sleep for the rest of the night. I think about things far too much and can't turn my brain off. Then I drop off about ten minutes before the wretched alarm goes off, and feel dreadful all day. Sometimes I get up and make myself a hot drink in the middle of the night. But usually nothing will fix it once I am awake. I have a theory that it's to do with hormones. Exercise in the open air can help such as a bracing walk. Alternatively, plug your ipod in and listen to some soothing music. There. I'm out of suggestions. If anyone else has any advice I'll listen too. But I'm not sure the threat of a spanking will stop your sleeplessness. You need to get the flippermegibbets out of your system!
ReplyDeleteHugs, Ami
Hi Ami, Thank you for the suggestions. I have problems both getting to sleep and staying asleep and like you, can't switch my brain off and lie there thinking about things.
DeleteI don't think he would have a problem if I start playing with the phone in the middle of night if I really can't sleep, but he does with sitting there playing with in in bed till all hours instead of trying to get to sleep in the first place.
I agree, the threat of a spanking isn't going to help with sleeplessness, but such bad habits which are anything but sleep promoting certainly don't help. Hopefully, this will go, in some way to helping the overall insomnia issue.
Hugs
Roz
Roz, sorry about the phone thing. Personally I don't know what I would do if my husband got it into his mind to fix my bad sleeping habits. So don't tell him, okay. Actually, I turn off my useless cell phone at night but there is still a home phone if he needs to reach me. It is my laptop that keeps my mind busy when I can't sleep.
ReplyDeleteAuthority figures, not only do they make me nervous but they are kinda sexy too. Especially our husbands. Lol
Hugs
Hi Blondie, Thank you. Your secret's safe with me :)
DeleteI have resorted to turning the phone off now to avoid temptation, but that doesn't stop me thinking hmm ... I wonder? ... should I turn it back on? Lol There is a land line which he can reach me on if need be.
My husband if my favourite authority figure. Most of the others (Police excluded) I auite often find myself wanting to thumb my nose at Lol
Hugs
Roz
Well, lots of good advice for you already. Just wishing the best with your new expectations. I used to make fun of people in my mind that they were so attached to their phone and now ha...I am that person, too! Like Elle says above, easy to want to check the email or blogs just one more time:)
ReplyDeleteWishing you both a great weekend. Take care.
HI SNP, Thank you, I think I might need it!
DeleteIt really is such a bad habit, and such a hard one to break! So tempting. I think most of us bloggers must suffer the same addiction to varying degrees Lol
Hope you had a great weekend too.
Hugs
Roz
Good luck with your new bedtime rules. It would be very hard for me to do as well all the time. I have lost much sleep just reading "one" more blog. I hope you make the transition well.
ReplyDeleteHi Zoe, Thank you! I hear you, I've must have lost countless hours sleep just checking out 'one last blog'! Terrible habit really, and hard to break! So far so good though.
DeleteHugs
Roz
Good luck. I have found I can't go to sleep unless I've checked my phone for emails and blogs at least once. I can't even turn my phone off since it's my alarm clock too.
ReplyDeleteHi TL, Thank you! Yep, that's my problem too. I also use it as an alarm clock as well. There is the bedside clock but because of the insomnia I like to use the phone alarm as well, in case the other alarm doesn't wake me up - argh! It's more my own paranoia I think and probably not really necessary. I've started just turning it off now to avoid the temptation.
DeleteHugs
Roz
I here you on the electronic addictions. I would never be able to shut my cell off at night. My kids always text me. My husband works nights and he has been known to text me or call me at odd times. I would freak if I thought they were unavailable by my phone.I guess my anxiety is showing...lol. Although when home near a bedtime hour my husband recently said "hey off the computer you need to sleep. Don't you work early tomorrow?" I looked at the time and thought, wow he's right! Of course it helped when I asked him to come and cuddle even though he needed to be up all night.
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you!
Hi Minelle, Thank you!
DeleteI've started switching if off now, but keeping it beside me. There is the land line if he is away and needs to get hold of me. It doesn't sound like switching it off would really be an option for you. Besides, you would only worry if you did, then no sleep!
Hugs
Roz
There's not much that puts me in a submissive mood, than being stopped by the police. I'm all "yes sir" "no sir" "I understand" etc. I have a heavy foot, and I have been stopped a number of times. I've only gotten a ticket one time, and instead of giving me a speeding ticket, he gave me a seatbelt ticket, because at the time it was only 25 dollars. I was wearing my seatbelt, but I didn't argue that one. I knew, in truth, it was just a less costly warning for the speeding. I think part of the submissiveness comes from the authoritative tone of the officer, saying things like "now if I catch you out here speeding again..." and "Do you realize if..." I'm married to a retired police officer, but we were not practicing DD (even though secretly I wanted to be). I never said " I'm married to an officer, so please don't give me a ticket." I have one time, interrupted a state trooper from telling me where to take the ticket (before it was written), and said to him "that's ok, you don't have to explain that, because my husband is an officer." (Hoping inside that he wouldn't write it). Other times they have asked me where I was going or coming from. The fact that I was a nurse seemed to give me some slack, but mostly I think it was the submissive and respectful way I spoke to the officers. I haven't been stopped in years. I've gotten older, and am a little less of a speed demon. I do love that authority in their voice, and the feeling of being submissive... but I hate tickets. I don't know why I went into this little story, when I seldom even post on my own blog. Anyway God bless you and all you love, Belle L. P.S. Some of the medicine I take causes insomnia, also menopause causes insomnia. My doctor put me on a very low dose of Elavil at night that helps me sleep.
ReplyDeleteHi Belle, I agree, the Police have the same affect on me too. I think it is the tone, and maybe the uniform :) Your husband being an officer must have given you tingles over the years lol ... well ... aside from the worrying that also comes with being an officer's wife.
DeleteMost other authority figures, apart from my husband who is my favourite authority figure, make me want to thumb my nose Lol
Insomnia is such a terrible problem isn't it? So hard to control and manage.
Hugs
Roz
Will the bedtime rule help to keep you in a submissive mode?
ReplyDeleteFD
Hi FD, Generally any new rule, instruction given of any act of dominanace on his part has me right in submission mode. However, I do find it hard to maintain 24/7 ... as shown in my latest post!
DeleteHugs
Roz
Hi Roz, well honey, that sounds very much like a rule to me. And I know EXACTLY how you feel.
ReplyDeleteIm back to work today since we broke up just before christmas, and Sir has been really good allowing me to stay up....tonight is a different story! And uh I got into trouble last night becuase he couldnt see the clock properly and the thought it was 10.30 when in fact it was 11.30 (and I knew it) oops!
Would it be OK if I emailed you sometime?
Hugs kiwi x
Hi Kiwi, ugh, going back to work. It's a hard to make that transition again isn't it ... and to get back to proper sleeping habits (I'm a great one to talk, I'm the worst!).
DeleteI noticed the time you sent this and thought uh-oh lol.
Oh yes, please do email me. I would love to hear from you.
Hugs
Roz
Cool, thanks, Ill drop you an email tomorrow :)
Deletehugs kiwi xx
That would be excellent. Look forward to hearing from you :)
DeleteHi Roz! This is how far behind I am...lol...but I guess it gives me the chance to ask how this is going so far?
ReplyDeleteWe have no bedtime "guideline" just an HoH who on a daily basis says "time for bed woman." I wonder what would happen if I said no. :)
Hi Susie, well .. I wouldn't recommend you say no Lol
DeleteIt's the same here really, as in no set bedtime but an HoH who says "time for bed" ... oh and now "no playing with your phone in bed. No internet, emails, blogs etc" - Sigh
So far so good. I've managed to resist the temptation so far and have been switching the phone off but keeping it near me. There is the landline if he needs to get hold of me, or vice versa when he's not here. Of course, none of this is an issue when he is here - I wouldn't dare start playing with the phone with him in bed next to me! Lol
Hugs
Roz
I like Suzie's comment :) i know exactly what would happen to me if I said no LOL.....it would end in "ouch" thats for sure
DeleteLoL, Pretty much a given I think. I've been spanked enough times for not getting to bed quick enough after he's told me to go so I'm guessing saying no would be a very bad idea LoL
Delete