Sunday 3 February 2013

Bedtime Rules - Somebody Got Spanked!

My last post started as a a bit of humour and banter between Rick and I.  However, I think I must have taken it all a little too seriously.  Perhaps it wasn't too far from where my head has been at lately.  Well, ok, maybe got quite, but you get the picture.

The truth is, I've been poking the bear a bit this week and feeling a little too feisty. To cap it off, this feistyness resulted in me blatantly disregarding rules and expectations Thursday night.  Remember the new bedtime rule?  No playing with the phone in bed.  That means no reading blogs on the phone, comments, emails etc.

I will admit that this new rule worried me.  I knew this was going to be such a bad habit to break and I really didn't know if I could do it.  I knew it would take a lot of willpower but I desperately wanted to succeed in order to prove my submission to my husband and to make him proud.

So far, I had managed to abide by this rule.  It has not been easy and I had been feeling proud of myself ... until Thursday night that is.

Rick was away that night.  No text or call came through to tell me to get to bed.  It got progressively later and later and I knew he had fallen asleep before managing to contact me.  I also knew that I would have to get up early the next day for work.  I was busy on the computer and of course, the sensible thing to do in the absence of directions from Rick would have been to pack it in and take myself off to bed.  I mean, I'm a grown woman for goodness sake.  Do I really need to be told when to go to bed!

Turns out that maybe I do because I decided to make the most of the opportunity and stayed up far too late.  Then I got into bed and ..... wait for it .... you guessed it .... checked emails and read blogs on my phone.  Oops!

I sent him a text goodnight once in bed, knowing he would of course, note the time the text arrived.  When he is away for the night he expects me to text him to say goodnight, regardless of whether he is already asleep, whether he had instructed me to go to bed or not.

I knew I had to confess to also breaking the 'no phone in bed' rule, which I did Friday morning.

He didn't say much during the day Friday, but within about 15 minutes of getting home he told me we were going to do some role affirmation.  He said it was definitely overdue and sent me to the bedroom to prepare.  With this news I buried my head in his chest for a new minutes and just held him before making my way to the bedroom, trying to reconcile with what was about to happen.

I went to the bedroom, removed my pants and panties and waited.  Rick came in a few minutes later, pulled at my top and said "what's this still doing on?  Take it off" Uh-uo - a naked spanking.  I hate that!  I dutifully removed my top and he spun me around and removed my bra.  He then told me that I was clearly overdue for a spanking and that he was also disappointed in my actions the previous night.   It was not good for me and that he had to be able to trust me to be sensible about taking care of myself, getting enough rest etc in his absence.  If it happens again, as well as another spanking I will loose privileges (including blogging) and an early bedtime will be imposed.  He then said the first part of the spanking would be punishment for my actions, followed by some role affirmation.  He also that that my attitude and level of respect had gone downhill during the week.  Not a great deal, but enough that he had noticed and was not happy.

With that he gently bent me over the bed, sat down beside me, placed one hand on my back and started spanking with his other hand.  After using his hand for a while he then moved onto the leather paddle, belt, ruler and cane.  With the cane, he started out with little taps and asked me if I remembered how it felt.   I've never made any secret that I hate the cane.  It hurts, even when used lightly.  He then proceeded to tell me it would be his implement of choice for serious infractions or if he felt it was needed in role affirmation.

After a few licks of the cane I heard a familiar sound - the sound of wood snapping. In the same moment I felt relief and also fought the urge not to turn around and/or laugh. Somehow I managed to retain my composure, which was just as well because apparently the dang thing was still usable!

Afterwards, Rick pulled me onto his lap and we cuddled.  I mentioned the cane snapping to him and suddenly burst out laughing.  I couldn't help myself.  Only problem was, once I started I couldn't stop!  I got to the point where I was no longer sure just what I was laughing at.  The fact the cane had broken, or was I laughing at the entire event?  I apologised and said I didn't know why I was laughing.  His response was this

Honey it's ok to laugh at that, but it is not ok to laugh at the spanking itself

I'm sorry.  I can't help it

Well, will it be so funny when you're otk or otb again with loss of privileges, grounded from the blogs and an early bedtime?

The whole thing left me feeling unsettled.  I didn't feel the way I usually do after a spanking.  I didn't have the familiar 'squiffy" submissive feeling.  I felt confused at the fact that I had laughed, and more so that I wasn't exactly sure what at.  It bothered me, and still bothers me to a degree.

Perhaps I shouldn't let it.  I told Rick I didn't feel how I normally feel and didn't feel submissive and he didn't seen too perturbed, saying it just happens occasionally.  He did ask whether he needed to up the ante with role affirmation though.  Gulp! Perhaps.  Honestly, I am wondering whether I do need that to happen.  I also wonder whether laughing could simply have been a different kind of release for me.  I certainly haven't reacted this way before.

Saturday night was spent enjoying a nice dinner together then settling down, me on the floor between his legs while he rubbed my back, played with my hair etc, to watch a few programs we had recorded.  Oh, and there was a little role affirmation of a different kind later on.  Which kina made me feel a lot better about the previous night's spanking :)

Well, getting back to my previous post.  I guess Rick proved that he holds the paddle in this relationship and that isn't going to change any time soon.  A girl can dream though - right?

45 comments:

  1. Good to hear you felt better after the different kind of role affirmation.

    And I assume you won't be taking the phone to your bed in the future.

    FD

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    1. Hi FD, Thank you, I did feel better after that :) I'm really hoping I can refrain from breaking this rule again. I will certainly be trying my best!

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  2. Sometimes laughter can arise in the most unexpected places. Hope you are feeling more settled. Hugs, Terps

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    1. Hi Terps, Thank you. I am feeling more settled now. I think perhaps it was mostly just a different kind of release.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  3. Hey Roz

    Well you know what I am going to say, well because I already have...lol.

    I do believe laughter is an emotional relief. Perhaps it doesn't help turn you into melty wifey but my thought behind that is because you feel guilty for laughing. Could it be that you didn't feel the way you wanted to after because Rick didn't give you the reaction to your laughter that you 'wanted' to ease your 'guilt'? orrrrrrrr not. lol

    I'm happy that your weekend turned out for the best in the long run. Now please behave, not having you around as much as we did while you were on vacation was hard enough. You being grounded from us would just be cruel- to all of us, OKAY...me *wink*

    Love
    Willie

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    1. Hey Willie, my bedtime tea buddie :)

      Thank you for chatting with me the other day, you did help me think this through and to feel a lot better about it. Sorry, you were probably caught in the firestorm as we were talking not long after it happened!

      Yes, I guess laughter can be another form of release, I hadn't really thought about that until you pointed it out :) Hmm, as for wanting a certain reaction from Rick to it? Do you think I'm crazy woman! LoL, just kidding.

      You are such a good bossy friend. I will TRY and behave. Promise! - besides, I know you'll yell at me if you see me out late - right?

      Love and Hugs,
      Roz

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  4. I'm sorry you got in trouble, and won't be holding the paddle anytime soon, but it sounds like you and Rick are in a good place. Sometimes we laugh and we don't know why. It beats crying. I would miss your blog if you got grounded so get to bed on time Missy!

    Love and Hugs,
    TL

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    1. Hi TL, Thank you so much for your comment. Yeah, I guess laughing does beat crying - provided it doesn't get you into trouble that is!

      Sheesh - another bossy friend! LoL. As I said to Willie, I will TRY and behave :)

      I hope you are starting to feel better sweetie.

      Love and Hugs,
      Roz

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  5. Sounds like all has bee reset and is good. Sometimes laughter is just stress release.
    hugs abby

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    1. Hi Abby, I guess maybe it was a king of release, but I was so confused at the time as to why it happened. I'm not feeling so angsty about it now though which is a good thing.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  6. i'm right now feeling like i need a little of that role affirmation myself...

    glad you got what you needed :)

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    1. Hi Fondles, thank you, yes I did in the end although I was initially confused.

      I hope you are now feeling reset too :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  7. sorry to hear that you got punished

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  8. That phone rule *is* a toughie...but it is hard to get good sleep when waking up to do online stuff. Ever since I gave up my smart phone (although i do take my laptop to bed), I've found that I sleep better.

    Easy to say, I know. Hugs and good luck.

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    1. Hi Ana, Sigh - It is a hard rule to follow and I probably did well to last as long as I did before caving in LoL.

      All joking aside, you are right of course. Getting straight into bed and checking emails, blogs, internet etc on your phone, or doing that stuff during the night if you happen to wake up (which I do every night) is definitely not very sleep inducing!

      Thanks for the wishes Ana. I'll certainly be trying my best!

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  9. Breaking implements (and we have broken a few) always makes me laugh. I wouldn't be too bothered by it. Like he said we don't always get there with every spanking. It sounds like the rest of your time was nice. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

    Oh I agree... I would hate for you to loose your privileges so BE GOOD.

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    1. Hi Zoe, Thank you, it was the broken cane that started me off for sure, but then I ended up confused as to just what I was laughing about. It didn't help that he told me the ruler also broke (which I wasn't aware of at the time) LoL.

      I guess you are right too, and as Rick also said, we don't always get there, but when that happens it can sometimes leave me feeling a little unsettled.

      Another bossy friend! LoL. Just kidding, thank you, I will be trying my best!

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  10. Sometimes we laugh when we're nervous too. Ad for sure, when an implement breaks...well malfunctions CAN be funny! BUT...it does sound like you've been busy pushing limits and testing his mettle, seeing how firm the walls stand. It's pretty much what we gals do when we're not sure if and when he's watching or what will happen. As Susie says, we poke the bear. I guess now you know. ;) BTW, many couples do find that more frequent reaffirmation of roles helps avoid the need for punishments.

    Sara

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    1. Hi Sara, Thank you. Yes, nerves too, as well as it simply being another form of release perhaps. I didn't think of these things at the time. I was just a bit confused by it and well, yes, breaking implements can be funny. As I said to Zoe, I didn't know at the time that the ruler also broke! I just thought he had simply finished with it LoL.

      I guess you got me. I think maybe I was pushing limits a bit. Returning to work and miss independence didn't help either.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  11. I have gotten the giggles before too. Never sure why, sometimes not even in reaction to something as funny as the cane breaking. I thinking it is another form of release, and probably means you are in a good place and know that even though he can spank, you are safe and feel loved enough to laugh and enjoy the silliness of life. Mary

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    1. Hi Mary, Thank you so much for commenting.

      This all makes sense to me and I never thought about it maybe being a good thing and showing that I feel safe and loved so thank you.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  12. Roz,
    Go to bed earlier! I will be instituting a self-imposed earlier bedtime because I posted a blog last night at 4:30 am or thereabouts! I just couldn't sleep - but I'm thinking after reading so many of Lillie's posts recently about changing lifestyle habits, I need to start doing so myself. We can help one another, if you'd like. :)

    Will and I do not have any daily rules of any sort, but he has been mentioning to me lately that I need to get to sleep earlier, and be with him in bed earlier. I want to respect his wishes, because frankly they are for my own good, truly. He will feel better knowing that I am taking better care of myself, you know?

    Okay, sorry I'm spewing out my stuff on your blog!

    As for the spanking - holy ouch! I understand the laughing thing - sometimes laughing comes out as a stress-relieving or nervous response. Sometimes, laughter replaces crying.

    As the others have said, don't worry about it. The end results were perfect, after all! Loved that you had a wonderful evening together! :)

    Elisa Xo

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    1. Hi Elisa, Sheesh - another one! LoL.

      Seriously, thank you. I think helping each other would be great! We can support each other instilling better sleeping habits and with the OCD. In sure both Will and Rick would appreciate it LoL.

      I think it's wonderful that you want to respect Will's wishes. They do only want this because it's good for us.

      As for the laughing, it confused me at the time but I can now see that it can be either a form of stress release or nervousness.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  13. I have to agree with Sara, laughter can be a release of emotion, not that different than tears in the right circumstances. Having said that I can see an HoH not appreciating laughter after a correction. They really need to feel completely respected, because they are vulnerable in that moment also.
    Glad it all ended wonderfully, Roz. You two are adorable.
    hugs

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    1. Hi Lillie, thank you. I now see that laughter can be a nervous response or a release, but I was confused by it at the time.

      You are right. Our HoH's are also vulnerable in that moment, and that it something that can be difficult for us to remember when we're in that moment. Rick wasn't concerned about me laughing at breaking an implement, but he didn't like the thought of me laughing at the spanking itself one little bit. I can totally understand that.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  14. Sorry Scrappy! I suppose it was sort of bound to happen, with the going back to work and then a little too much night time freedom. I've broken into nervous giggles before a spanking and can also get strangely giggly afterwords. MM thinks the before is anxiety and the after has something to do with feeling all safe. It has also landed me right back where we started a couple times. LOL...I guess you can hope it doesn't happen again too soon but Rick seems to have handled it well. Sometimes the squiffy feeling (such a good word!) doesn't happen. It's okay.

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    1. Hi Susie, sigh - I think you are right. Going back to work and becoming Miss Independent led to a bit too much feistyness.

      I see now that laughter can be either a nervous response or a release. I do like the idea though of it being because I feel safe and loved. Don't much like the thought of it landing be back otk though LoL

      I guess the squiffy feeling doesn't always happen, and thankfully Rick isn't too worried when this happens, although he is more watchful in case it leads to any spirilling on my part. It can leave me feeling a bit unsettled sometimes though.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  15. The more I look at our journey in DD, and read up on other people's, I realize that laughing can be just another great way to experience relief. I think that if you aren't laughing at him in a belittleing way, or as in a way that means you won't submit, then it can be freeing. I really feel, for myself anyway, that a good laugh can really set a good balance inside my body again. It really is a wash of relief after we've flushed out all the bad emotions a spanking helps us let go of. That is my opinion anyway. I could be wrong. :)

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    1. Hi Es May, This seems to be what everyone is saying and it makes sense. As you say, provided it is not a sign of not submitting or undermining the HoH. Rick's only concern was that that wasn't the case here. He wasn't concerned otherwise, whether I was simply laughing at breaking the implement or releasing emotion.

      Yes, I guess it can sometimes be just about as freeing as crying instead - and more pleasant :)

      I hope you are feeling a little better sweetie.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  16. I've cracked up every time we've broken an implement (3 so far) so don't feel bad. I agree with the others, though, about laughter being an outlet. Sometimes I have so much tension built up going into a spanking that once it's over it just bubbles out in laughter.

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    1. Hi Dana, yes that's right - Mrs Buns of Steel LoL Breaking the implement is certainly what started me off, but I ended up confused in the end as to just what I was laughing at. Was I laughing at that, or the whole thing (which, of course, would not be a good thing!). I now see that it can simply be an emotional release or nervous response.

      Thinking about it now, I think I may have broken into laughter before, but not like this and certainly not immediately afterwards. A bit of a delayed reaction a while later.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  17. Hey Roz - Nervous or emotional laughter happens to all of us at one time or another...don't think it's really anything to be concerned about unless it keeps happening. Sounds as if you are feeling more settled so all's good.

    Blessings,
    Cat

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    1. Hi Cat, Thank you. I see now that it probably was just an emotional response, but I was confused by it at the time.

      I am feeling more settled about it now, and everyone here has helped in that :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  18. I think I'd have a hard time with the bedtime rule, as well. And eek I dislike naked spankings, too. It's like if I had any last bit to hang onto...gone.

    And I smiled when you wrote about laughing so much. The same thing happened to me last night. Cael was being serious, not that I did anything "wrong" it was more of an affirmation and I was just so giggly. Had nothing to do with him, I was just in a mood I guess! Must be something in the air, huh? ;)

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    1. Hi Riley,

      Oh boy, this IS a hard rule for me, especially because it is such a habit. I had been doing well with it though until this and I will be working hard not to break it again.

      Yeah, I loath the naked spankings - guess that's why our guys do it huh - grrr. I know Rick does it because he thinks it makes me feel more vulnerable and submissive. Like you said, nothing left to hang onto.

      Oh dear, maybe there is something in the air? I guess I'm glad I'm not the only one :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  19. ohhh i hate bedtime rule so much. Sorry you got spanked over it but im glad im not the only one. Id rather have hthat giggly feeling than that "sub-drop" feeling i had last week. Sounds like you worked it out though - which Im glad for. Im trying hard this week to stick to all my rules..including bedtime rule (do you see the time of this one hehehe) but sometimes i just run out of time and there is so much to do, so many blogs to read :D hehehehe
    good luck this week Roz (and yes i find it funny too when the cane snaps)

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    1. Hi Kiwi, those bedtime rules - they are the ones guaranteed to get us in the most trouble aren't they?!

      I agree, feeling giggly is far preferable to the awful "sub-drop". I'm glad you are no longer feeling that.

      Good luck with the rules for the rest of the week! I did actually notice the time you sent this :) I know what you mean. There is so much to do in the evening, especially working during day and time does just run out.

      I'm writing this after our talk this week and I hope things end up ok.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  20. Hi Roz
    Just popping in to blog land quickly and read your post.
    Sorry you got punished, but I think the laughter was just release of all those emotions and nothing to worry about. Who says only tears bring that release.
    Sorry cant write much, hope you are alright and that your week at work isn't too bad x

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    1. Hi MBC, Thank you, I glad you popped in for a visit :)

      I can now see that laughing can simply just be a release but it did confuse me at the time. I am feeling much more settled now and everyone here has helped with that.

      Work has been very busy this week, but good. We actually have a public holiday tomorrow too - yay!

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  21. So glad I don't have a bedtime rule. Phew! Good job not laughing, I know that feeling, and when you do let it bubble up, I have gotten almost hysterical laughing at nothing before. Weird...

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    1. Hi Julia, thank you. Bedtime rules are hard! Maybe it's because I held it in at the moment it happened that I couldn't stop laughing afterwards. Not sure.

      I know now (thanks to everyone here) that laughing can sometimes simply be an emotional release, but it did confuse me at the time.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  22. Ooops! Sounds like you were testing him a bit...not that I'd know anything about that sort of thing myself of course! ;) I wouldn't worry about the laughter. It could have been nervous laughter or just a needed release. I've laughed before when an implement broke. Michael didn't find it so funny, the broken implement that is, but he wasn't upset with me for laughing. Perhaps you do need Steve to step things up a bit right now. I've needed that from Michael at times too. Anyway, good luck with that bedtime rule!

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    1. Hi Grace,

      If testing isn't something you would not about, how do you know if I was doing it? LoL. Seriously, I have to admit, I think I was pushing a bit. Going back to work last week didn't help.

      Thanks to everyone here, I now know that laughter can sometimes simply be a release of emotions, but I did feel confused by it at the time.

      Breaking an implement can be funny, and it is certainly what started me off. Rick wasn't concerned about me laughing at that, but laughing at the spanking itself would have been a different story.

      I will be working hard not to break this rule again. I was doing well with it until this. In fact, I'm a little surprised I lasted this long LoL.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  23. Hi Roz. I'm catching up on some of your older blogs. I can so relate to the phone problem. I've received a few spankings for using the phone for blogs and texts at a time I wasn't supposed to! I just got two spankings in one day for it!!

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