Well, it seems I have not been immune to this phenomenon. I mean, I haven't exactly been in trouble, or slipped that badly, but the focus I usually have hasn't been there and my husband have been lenient with the tiny indiscretions.
That is, he was being lenient. He has since told me that we need to refocus on "us" and that some role affirmation is definitely required to help the process of refocusing. Sheesh - can't I just enjoy my holiday? Regular readers here will know that role affirmation is something fairly new to us.
It is summer here but the weather has been a bit up and down, we've had some lovely warm sunny days, days of torrential rain and days of horrendous gale force winds, although the temperature has remained quite warm.
Since the hustle and bustle of the Christmas/new year period we have been enjoying the nice days, taking time out for us and going on afternoon 'dates' to favourtie places. I call them dates because that is exactly what it feels like. We have taken nice seaside strolls hand in had, visited a lot of favourite cafes and visited places we either haven't been to before or haven't been to for a while.
We have had a lot of fun together just focusing on us and as a result it feels like we are both now 'rediscovering' our roles again after the Christmas madness. OK, maybe I am rediscovering mine a little slower than he is :)
We have had a lot of fun together just focusing on us and as a result it feels like we are both now 'rediscovering' our roles again after the Christmas madness. OK, maybe I am rediscovering mine a little slower than he is :)
The other day we went to a favourtie park, visited the cafe then lay in the sun together just talking and cuddling, watching the myriad of other people there playing various games. It was a lovely afternoon. There was lots of loving conversation during which he said something about loving how connected we are.
Later that day he had to go out for the evening. Before he left I threw my arms around him, kissed him and batted my eyes
Honey
Yes sweetheart
I don't know if we really need role affirmation now
This was met with lots of laughter from him before he kissed me
Nice try angel
Dang! Can't blame a girl for trying though.
I'm enjoying this time together. I really should be getting on with some of the 'stuff' I usually do during part of the holidays. You know, cleaning inside of windows, cleaning cupboards etc. But, there is still time for that ... and it will be back to work and back to reality soon enough - sigh!
Glad you are enjoying your time together. You know RA could just be a good girl spanking since you are being so good.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sunny! That certainly works for me :)
DeleteHugs
Roz
Roz, is role affirmation like maintenance? You sound as if things are just great. Starman is very much against spanking for spanking's sake. Yet when we do maintenance he sometimes spanks so hard it makes me squeak! I have only cried the once, when he actually made me black and blue. And I think that is now the problem. It's made him very nervous. Do you think he'll eventually get over his fear of harming me? I think that's what it all comes down to.
ReplyDeleteAre you in Australia by any chance? The sunshine sounds great. I have a 'penfriend' (now an email friend) who lives just outside Melbourne.
Hugs, Ami
Hi Ami - it can be whatever you define it to be. For Ward and myself, yes, role affirmation is very much like maintenance, it lets me feel his Dominance, lets him feel my submission and keeps our minds in their respective places.
DeleteHi Ami - thank you for your comment and questions, and thank you June for your reply. I will try my best to give you my take on your questions.
DeleteRole affirmation for us really is like maintenance, it basically serves the same purpose. My husband doesn't like the connotations that can be implied with the term maintenance and prefers RA. He didn't like the idea of it either, it took him a while to get his head around the idea and has only recently introduced it.
As for the bruising and/or marking. I am no expert by any means so please take this with a large grain of salt. I think provided it is temporary and not 'severe' it really comes down to how you both feel about it. Arnica helps.
Causing your wife pain and fear of 'harming' are all natural concerns for new HoH's and it takes a while for them to get their head around the whole spanking thing. I'm sure Starman will get his head around it in time.
Summer is great, although it's been a bit mixed, some rain and gale winds as well. You are close, we are in New Zealand.
Hugs
Roz
I don't have anything insightful to say, just that it sounds as though you're getting back on the right track for the two of you despite the holiday madness. Actually, I think you already were on the right track, just distracted by all the busyness of the season.
ReplyDeleteIt is rough returning to work after a vacation or long weekend. I don't miss it. I'm much poorer since retiring, but I no longer feel pulled in way too many directions all at once, and never having enough hours in any day to accomplish what needs doing.
Glad to hear you're doing well, Roz, and enjoying your NZ summertime! I'm absolutely loving the snow around here!!
Hi Irishey, Welcome back and thank you.
DeleteIt does feel as though we are heading back in the right direction after the Christmas/new year madness. I would so love not to have that not enough hours in the day feeling that comes with a full time job.
Ooh, sometimes I wish we did get snow here, just for the experience. It does snow in NZ course, but not where we are.
Hugs
Roz
I am so envious of the summertime you are experiencing.
ReplyDeleteRole affirmation or maintenance is not my favourite thing, and never will be, but it does work and keeps things from reaching a point where something more .....um... hurtie (my word) is needed.
Good luck, chin up soldier,
hugs
lillie
Hi Lillie-Belle,
DeleteThank you, weather has been a bit mixed but warm. RA/maintenance is new for us at the moment, we've only really just incorporated it but it's got to be good I guess if it helps prevent the more 'hurtie' ones - love that word btw.
Hugs
Roz
It seems that you are off to a very good start. Even when the trick with "batting the eyes" didn't work.
ReplyDeleteWell, I suppose that's just for the best.
Hi Bas, thank you
DeleteWe are off to a good start and enjoying our holiday time together while it lasts. I guess you are right, probably is for the best - sigh
Hugs
Roz
Awh, nice try Roz. You two sounds so sweet together :) I think it is completely understandable to not want it, especially if it's something new. We've done lots of role affirmation. Sometimes I wanted it, others I had to make myself submit, but in the end, I was always happy "after the fact."
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year!
Hi Riley, welcome back! lovely to see you back here. Thank you for your lovely comment :)
DeleteFunny how we are always happy afterwards, even though we may not have wanted it originally isn't it?
Hugs
Roz
It's pretty easy for ttwd to take a back seat around the holidays. And it can be hard to get back into the swing of things too. I hope the role affirmation helps. You sound like me I think, probably knowing it's needed and maybe even wanting it, and yet just can't help but attempt to get out of it! ;) The togetherness the two of you have been enjoying sounds wonderful and I hope that the role affirmation just serves to make you feel that much closer. :)
ReplyDeleteHi Grace, thank you for your lovely words.
DeleteIt can be easy to loose that focus sometimes, and especially around the holidays.
Funny isn't it, that whole I want it/I don't want it and trying to get out of it anyway thing. So much about ttwd leaves me scratching my head Lol
Hugs
Roz
Awww Roz - How sweet! Love the description of your dates. Sitting here looking at snow wishing I had your weather. :) If votes count, I vote for no RA, sounds like you're doing great without it! Trying to help here...
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Cat
Thank you Cat :) Ya know, sometimes I wish we had snow in winter, just for the experience. We do get snow here of course, but only once in a blue moon where we are.
DeleteThank you for the vote! Sadly though, I think his is the only one that counts - dang Lol
Hugs
Roz
I hope your role affectation is more a fun balancing experience! I'm crossing my fingers too. You guys seem like you are enjoying the moments perfectly!
ReplyDeleteHi Minelle, Thank you! We are enjoying the holiday time together and trying to make the most of it while it lasts!
DeleteHugs
Roz
Keep enjoying your time together! All the best with Role Affirming:)
ReplyDeleteHi SNP, thank you! We are enjoying our time together. I wish it could go on for longer, but sadly, it will be back to the grind soon enough.
DeleteHugs
Roz
You know how men only pick up key words when women talk? Well, I'm ashamed to say that is just what I did. I only picked up
ReplyDeletesummertime and role affirmation. lol
One makes me jealous, one does not.
I'm glad you are enjoying your time together!
Best Wishes!
Emma
Lol thank you Emma!
DeleteSo you're jealous of role affirmation? :)
Hugs
Roz
sounds like a wonderful time together
ReplyDeleteWelcome! Thank you for reading and commenting.
DeleteWe are having a fun time together. It will be back to work and back to the grind soon enough - sigh!
Hugs
Roz
LOL Roz! First, I am so jealous of your warm weather. Second, my MM says that the more I say I don't need any "affirmation" the more I desperately need it. He just chuckles like Rick does. So, so mean they are. :)
ReplyDeleteHi Susie, I agree they are big meanies, and teasers. Once he finished laughing Rick told me that I would get extra swats for that - grrr
DeleteHugs
Roz
Oh you have summer. Oh how jealous am I. Our weather is so bad it wasn't Christmassy it's horrible and rainy and just depressing. Sorry vent over. I know what you mean about the holiday season. My husband was linient and it made me loose focus. We call it role affirmation and I try to get out of it lol. But you two sound like you getting on really well a little role affirmation might do you's good I know it did for me as my husband was not the one that lost focus only me :( but it helped us reconnect again x
ReplyDeleteWelcome! Thank you for reading and for your lovely comment.
DeleteIt has been a bit mixed here weather wise with some lovely days, some rain and gale winds, but the temperature has been warm.
It can be so easy to loose focus on ttwd over the holiday period. My husband says RA is good for both of us. Sometimes he needs it to get back on track and other times I do. Having said that though, we have only just started using it.
Hug
Roz
Taking that time together, inside your cocoon ad watching the world go by is such a lovely thing. Lol on the role affirmation - it can be fun - lotsa fun :)
ReplyDeleteHi June, you are right, it's wonderful and I never want to leave our cocoon.
DeleteLol We have only really just started to introduce RA and so far we have had both fun and not so fun ones :)
Hugs
Roz
I think the role affirmations help to keep us going but I do get not wanting them sometimes. I actually like it when he doesn't let me talk him out of it. Enjoy your weather and your time together. Sounds fun.
ReplyDeleteHi Zoe, Thank you!
DeleteAlthough we have only really just started RA, it does help and I agree, (after the fact) I probably prefer him not to let me talk him out of it too but shss - don't tell him I said that!
Hugs
Roz
Sorry I am late :( I thought I commented...boooo Wilma ( I know like you were dying to hear from me !)
ReplyDeleteRemember how excited I was about the snow here before Christmas? Yeah SO over it now. I want warm weather STAT! I mean since starting ttwd I've been shaving my legs everyday, I might as well have shorts on! ( TMI ?)
Pretty certain your R/A is over by now. Not sure what expression I need to accurately call it here...Barney's not fond of me calling it Target Practice- go figure. Maybe Reconnection Session ? or Reconnection Appointment- then I can still use R/A
Love to you and The Boss
Willie
Where is Wilma? Has anybody seen Wilma? - Oh, there you are! Lol
DeleteHi Wilma, I'm glad you dropped by, never too late! Yes, I do always love hearing from you and am always dying to hear from you :) (I was actually wondering where you were:)
It must have been a loong morning coffee lol. Ok, I know our morning/bedtime chats have been all over the place lately with me being on holiday.
If it makes you feel any better today has been grey and extremely windy, not pleasant at all. Plus, the forecast is for some rain for the next couple of days. It has stayed warm though.
I can understand you being over the snow, just keep thinking of that bikini you'll be wearing on your trip soon :)
You cracked me up with the leg shaving. Isn't it amazing these extra little things we now do that we didn't do before? I mean, I certainly wouldn't have done that every day pre ttwd.
um ... yeah ... target practice is probably not the best term (though I love it). I do like your alternatives though. Rick doesn't like 'maintenance' which is why we use RA.
Love and Hugs to you and Barney
Scrappy - oops, I mean Roz (Scrappy's outside playing!)