Happy Easter Everyone!

Rick and I wish you all a Happy and blessed Easter.

He tells me he is looking forward to some nice hot cross buns.  I don't think he means of the bread variety either! - humph

Spanking and Tolerance Levels

It sometimes baffles me how my tolerance to spanking can alter (quite dramatically sometimes it seems) from one spanking to the next.  I know that there are a lot of factors that come into play such as implement choice, position, the intensity of the spanking etc.  State of mind and physical condition (whether I am feeling 100% or not) I think are also huge factors.

Going into any spanking I have a rough idea, or at least I think I do, of what it will feel like and how I will tolerate it.  I have had enough experience to gauge these things LoL.

Generally, I have a fairly high tolerance and if I were honest, can probably handle more.  But every now and then though I surprise both myself and Rick with my reaction.  Last Saturday was one of those times.

Rick was spanking away merrily and I very quickly started squirming and ouching strongly.  It hurt!  More than I had expected it would and I was having a very hard time.  I think it must have been a record for me.

During a pause I said to him "why does it hurt like hell more some times than others?"  He very gently said "It just works that way sometimes honey" and went back to spanking me (nice guy that he is).

He did ease up a bit though, but tears very quickly started to trickle.  Not a full on cry, I find it very difficult to fully let go and openly cry but there was a slow trickle which is unusual for me.  He lay on the bed beside me and pulled me into him.  "Tears" he said in a surprised tone.  I weakly smiled at him and said "It's all good.  This is good".  "It's very good" was his reply.

He briefly continued spanking but with less intensity then scooped me up and sat me on his lap where we cuddled for a bit before telling me to get on my knees on the floor for some .... um ... other activities.  A little while later I was back OTB for round two.

I have no idea in this case why it was that I didn't cope with this spanking the same as I usually do.

Catitude

I received these the other day and thought I would share for all you fellow cat lovers out there.

Although wrong species, this one kind of makes me think of me and Scrappy :)

More Answers

I received some great questions and answered a couple of them in my previous post. Here are the answers to the rest of your questions.

In my post inviting questions I posed one of my own.  Why is it when it comes to discipline, I have some expectation that my husband has given it a lot of prior thought and has the consequences and fine detail all planned out in advance?  I expect him to have a plan and to stick with it.

Wilma posed the following question in response to mine:  Rick, why can't you have everything planned out ahead of time for Roz?  
Rick's answer: The act of disciplining Roz is a very sober moment for me and I do not enjoy it or find it easy to do. It is something that I think long and hard about and debate in my mind what should be the appropriate punishment. I may know what the punishment is going to be straight away but other times I may be settling upon whats appropriate right up to the time of administering the correction. I do not want to be in a situation where I tell Roz what a punishment is going to be and she mentally prepares for it on that basis only to find that I have changed my mind for whatever reason. Knowing Roz like I do, inside and out, she would struggle if that was to happen. No matter what the punishment is that I deliver to Roz, the most important thing is that she knows why she is being punished and what my expectations are of her in the future. And as important as the punishment itself is the aftercare that follows.

Zoe asked: Is there a rule or request that he has made that gives you an unexpected insight into him and how he thinks or did you discover something that he found important but you never realised until he was in charge and there was a rule?
That is such a great question.  It's funny because when we first incorporated Dd into our relationship we seemed to go through a period where Rick would call me on little things I did that he either didn't agree with, or perhaps just irritated him.  It felt so foreign at the time as previously, he would never say a word and I would be oblivious to how he felt.  It was kind of a learning curve for me - really?  I never knew you felt this way.

I have always had low self confidence and am prone to making negative comments about myself and to negative self-talk.  I vividly remember making such a comment not long after we incorporated Dd and receiving a lecture from Rick.  He told me that what I had said was false and unhealthy.  What really got to me though was that he told me hearing me say such things hurts him and how much he hates it when I do this.  I had never previously realised how much this affects him.

This is something I am still prone to and Rick pulls me up on it every time.  It doesn't happen as often as it used to now.  This is, in part I think because I now know how it affects him.  Also, since Dd my self confidence has grown a lot.  I think it's because I feel safe and taken care of and know that he has my back.

Another thing I never realised until Dd was that he doesn't like it when I up and leave the room for any reason when we are spending time together without saying anything.  He told me early on that he considers it a courtesy to tell him first. Honey, I'm just going to (whatever).  I try to ensure I do this and he affords me the same courtesy.

Ronnie asked:

If you could go back and talk to the old you, when you were in high school and inform yourself of 4 things, what would you say?
I would definitely tell myself to not ever start smoking! (I was a late starter to smoking)

Not worry so much about what other people think of me and to follow my own gut rather than do things because it's what I think others expect.

I would tell myself that maybe my Mother is right when she constantly keeps telling me good things come in small packages :)

That I am worthy and capable and to have more confidence in my abilities.

What's the most unusual food you've ever eaten?
Hmm, I'm not sure I could say I've really eaten anything unusual.  Rick apparently ate coal as a toddler though LoL

Did you have a childhood ambition and did you achieve it?
I had many different ambitions as a child.  At one point I wanted to be a nurse, then I wanted to work with children, perhaps teaching.  After that, I wanted to become a vet or work with animals in some capacity.  I also fancied myself as a writer at one point.

No, I didn't achieve any of them LoL

Bob asked:

Who brought the Dd lifestyle to the table?
I am currently working on a post about how we began Dd and our journey so far and will provide more detail in that post.

In short, we had always incorporate low level D/s and spanking in play and decided we wanted to find a way to incorporated it into our relationship outside of the bedroom.  We weren't sure how to go about it, or what it would look like and Rick discovered Taken In Hand and from there we slowly discovered Dd.  We had a few stops and starts with it but it was Rick that initiated it again this time.  I guess you could say the idea of such a relationship was a joint decision but Rick initiated the lifestyle.

What is your favourite colour?
I'm rather girly so I love purple, pink and blue.

What is your favourite food?  the worst?
Hmm, I think it's easier to say the foods I don't like first.  I don't like any seafood, apart from fish fillets LoL, olives or what I call 'earthy' vegetables such a spinach, silver beet, brussel sprouts.

Other than that I enjoy most types of food and have a sweet tooth LoL.  I enjoy Italian, Asian and Indian dishes among others and love traditional home cooked roast.

My favourite meal would probably be a cooked brunch - bacon and egg with all the trappings. Yum!

Elisa asked:  What is you favourite way that Rick expresses his love to you - something that cannot be bought? And what does he love the most about what you do to express your love for him?
Rick's answer:  My favourite way the you show me that you love me is the fact you submit to me.  What an honour for me.

I just love that answer!  I feel the same way.  The greatest way he shows me his love for me is the fact that he has taken on the role of leading our relationship.  I know that is not something he takes lightly.  It is a huge responsibility which he takes very seriously.  In my opinion, I don't think any man would take on this role unless he loved his wife/partner and was committed to her and to the relationship.

I love the little things he does, which are actually very big things.  The way he looks at me, smiles and tells me I'm beautiful.  The fact that when I am stressed he will tell me to sit and relax and play with my hair, rub my back etc to relax me.  He is extremely jealous of our alone time together and doesn't like anything distracting us from focusing on each other.  In fact, we have a couple of rules to help ensure there are no distractions.

This may sound strange but another of my favourite ways in which he shows me his love is by taking me in hand when I exhibit unhealthy behaviour, such as putting myself down.  To me, this shows me how much he cares.

Thank you all so much for your questions.  We enjoyed answering these.

Happy St Patrick's Day, Erotic Spanking and Questions Answered

Happy St. Patrick's Day Everyone!  Our St Patrick's Day started off with a lovely restaurant brunch with friends in honour of a friend's birthday.  It was very pleasant.  The meal was delicious and service superb.

Things have been trucking along in Rick and Roz land.  I have been having a fair bit of trouble with my no electronics in bed rule lately, and also getting to bed quickly enough when told to do so.  I also don't feel my head is quite where it should be right now - but we are working through it.

Our brunch today capped of a lovely night together Saturday night.  We had a nice dinner then settled in to watch a couple of recorded programmes.  I was in my customary position on the floor between Rick's legs and he began playing with my hair and massaging my head and back.  I was in heaven.

We watched a couple of shows then Rick decided to switch to music.  We continued as we had been for a while then me motioned for me to join him on the couch and snuggle up.  I sat beside him and snuggled into him and in the process somehow managed to position myself half across his lap.  Seriously?  Do you want a spanking?  It's either a very good or very bad idea to place yourself in this position with an HoH!

It wasn't long belong Rick started rather absently rubbing my butt and giving me light slaps to the beat of the music.  It wasn't much longer before I started wriggling and moaning.  Noticing my reaction he started changing the tempo of the slaps up and down, which made me moan more.  He then stood me up and removed my jeans and told me to get back over his lap whereupon he continued his ministrations.  He then sent me to get the wooden spoon.  I went back over his lap, down came the panties and the spoon alternated between being rather tantalising and ouchy.

Later he lowered me back onto the floor for a while and then repositioned me so that I was leaning into the back of the seat of the couch whereupon he started his ministrations again with the spoon, again alternating between tantalising and ouchy.  Then came a different sensation.  Rather thuddy and ouchy as Rick was also using more force than previously.  It didn't take long for me to register that he was using his leather sandal.  Now, previously, I've always thought spanking with a slipper or any kind of shoe rather ... I'm not sure ... silly?  I've changed my mind on that.  I've learnt it can be very effective!

Now onto answering some of the wonderful questions I have received.

Riley asked How did you choose your blog name?

We settled on the name Roz fairly quickly.  It was sort of a given.  Roz is a combination of my given names and a nick name my father always used to call me.

The rest of the title took a little longer to formulate.  We tried to think what words we could use to denote taken in hand and finally came up with "in his hands".

Grace asked How did the two of you meet and what really drew you to each other?

There is a story behind this and it's something Rick never lets me lives down.  He keeps torturing me with it from time to time.

We firstly met through working together.  We were both working for the same organisation but in different areas and didn't know each other.  Rick applied to join our area and being the nosey sort that I am, I tried to glean some information on the candidates from the boss who, to my complete surprise, shared who they were and their work history.  My initial reaction, based solely on Rick's work history, experience etc, was that he would not be a good fit for us.  Given my sometimes forthright, rather Scrappy nature I wasted no time sharing this view with the boss.

Very fortunately my opinion didn't count because Rick was the lucky candidate. However, instead of being offered a permanent role straight off (which is what had been advertised) he was offered a short term contract to begin with.  Whether I had anything to do with that development, we will never know. I very quickly realised how totally wrong I was about Rick's suitability for the job.

We took a while to warm up to each other initially but discovered we shared a lot of common views, ideals etc and it wasn't long before we became friends.  This friendship grew deeper and deeper over time and the rest, as they say, is history.

Back before our friendship blossomed into romance we always used to talk about how people say it's impossible for a man and a woman to just be friends and how we had proven that to be untrue.  Well, maybe that old saying is right after all?

Thank you Riley and Grace for you questions.  I will answer some more questions in another most soon.  It's still March, so please feel free to send further questions if you would like.

The Perfect Card

Today has been a crappy, stressy hormonal one, so I thought I needed to inject a bit of fun into my day.

Rick and I were in a shop recently looking for a card when he saw this one and showed it to me looking very pleased with himself proclaiming how perfect it was.

Hubby, I'd follow you to the end of the earth

I liked the words inside.

That's how much I like the view from behind

Fair's fair right?  After all, our HoH's spend a lot of time enjoying the view from behind! LoL

I have been so busy these last few days I haven't got around to replying to the comments on my last couple of posts yet.  The little time I have had to devote to blogland I've spent catching up with some of you and neglecting my own blog.   I apologise and will be getting onto the replies now.

I also haven't been able to get around to everyone so I apologise if i've missed you.

Thank you for your questions.  I've received some great ones and will answer them shortly in a separate post.  If you have any more burning questions you would like to ask please feel free.

Thinking On His Feet

In my last Q&A post I asked why it is that I expect, when it comes to discipline, that my husband has thought every little detail through beforehand.  That he has the whole thing planned out and sticks to it.

The reality of course is that he has a basic plan, but lets the little details 'happen'. He acts according to my responses and reactions.  This is a good thing right?  So why does it sometimes bother me if I sense he is thinking things through on the spot?

I've had some wonderful responses to this question and I thank those people that commented.  You have given me some great food for thought.

Last Saturday we had an example to illustrate my question that I thought I would share.

Rick had told me role affirmation would happen Saturday night.  Normally he likes to do role affirmation (or any punishment spanking for that mater) early in the evening so that we can enjoy the rest of the evening together feeling connected.  This usually means I sit down to dinner on a rather tender behind LoL.

Last Saturday he changed things around on me from the start.  We had been out and therefore decided on takeaways to make things easier.  Usually we would go straight home first, do whatever is needed there, RA would occur and then we would head out later on for the takeaways.  This time however, he decided on dinner first.  He said it made sense since we were already out.  I fleetingly thought to myself, does this mean he has either forgotten, or decided against RA?

After dinner we watched a couple of shows we had recorded.  I was in my usual spot on the floor between his legs while he played with my hair etc.  Once the last show ended I turned around to face him and rested my head on his thigh.  We sat there like that for a wee while.  Him stroking my hair and just looking at and smiling at each other.  Then he started saying things like "you're my girl", "you submit to me".  I can't exactly recall what else he said but he finished with "sometimes you need to be reminded" - Uh Oh! Ok, I guess he hasn't forgotten RA then!

He then told me to go to the bedroom and remove everything except my panties. Thank heaven for small mercies, I'm allowed panties this time? - well, briefly at least.  As is customary for me, I fussed a little and went in for a cuddle before moving.  He responded with "No whining.  I told you to do something, now do it".

For some unknown reason I felt the need to check instructions so as I stood up to go I asked him to repeat how he wanted me.  "Everything off but panties".  I could see the cogs start to turn and as I was halfway to the door he added "and I want you in the kneeling position".  Oh, this is new!  It was something he hadn't 'planned' on.  It only occurred to him to add this element when I asked him to clarify instructions.

When he came into the room the first thing he did was ask me what the whining and fussing had been about.  He told me when he gives me an instruction, he expects it to be carried out without protest.

The conversation part of the proceedings started with me still kneeling in front of the bed.  He asked three 'simple' (not!) questions.

What do you get out of this dynamic?

What does our relationship get out of this dynamic?

What does Daddy get out of this dynamic?

Wow, talk about having to think on my feet!  I can't quite remember what my responses were but I can tell you those aren't easy questions to answer in that position while waiting to be spanked!

Again, this was new and I could tell that he had not planned this ... um ...  change in usual procedure.

I still don't fully understand why it throws me when he lets things flow as he sees fit rather than follow a plan.  He has definitely found ways to make each role affirmation unpredictable and different.  Perhaps it's the added level of vulnerability I feel.  I need to know he has plan and everything worked out?  I'm still pondering and the feedback I received on my last post has certainly helped.

I guess this is good though.  I don't think following a pattern is necessarily a good thing.  You can get too used to how things are going to play out, which in turn can allow me to 'steel' myself so that I don't fully soften to him.  In addition, I think it provides more scope for us to read each other and act in accordance with each other's reactions.  That's gotta be a good thing too.

Questions Anybody? - and an Answer Please

Apparently March is question and answer month in this corner of blogland so if you have any questions for us please either ask them in the comments section or send us an email.  We would love to hear from you.

Questions welcomed from everyone.  You don't have to be a regular reader.

Ask us anything you like (within reason) and we will answer them in a later post. You can either direct your question to Rick, myself or both of us.  I wouldn't ask Scrappy though as the best answer you're probably likely to get is "it's a mystery!".

Email rozinhishands@gmail.com

While we're here, I'm wondering if you can help me with a question of my own.  I feel like this is a daft question and I feel silly asking it, but It's something I have been pondering for a little while.

Why is it when it comes to discipline, I have some expectation that my husband has given it a lot of prior thought and has the consequences and fine detail all planned out in advance?  I expect him to have a plan and to stick with it.

The reality is that yes, he does give it a lot of prior thought and decides on consequences beforehand but just allows the rest of the detail to happen. Sometimes I can see the cogs turn, that he is thinking on his feet (as it were) reacting to my responses and it can throw me.

I don't understand why this is.  It's silly really.  I mean, this is how it should be isn't it?  It's human nature.  We communicate, we react and adjust according to the responses we receive.

Scrappy's Spanking Survey

Hi there, Scrappy here.  Roz got it into her head for some reason to ask me to complete some survey and being the good and loyal friend that I am, I graciously agreed (she needs me you know!)

Personally, I couldn't give a bone.  I mean, who wants to waste their time reading stupid surveys, let alone complete them!  I see it's a spanking survey too.  Well, I say whoever came up with this needs a damn good span ...  Scrappy! ... Roz here, I'm so sorry about that.  Scrappy, you said you would do this for me and that you would behave ... Alright alright, I'll answer the questions.

Have you even gotten spanked?  WTF??  I thought this was a survey about me kicking a*s, not having my a*s kicked!  Don't even think about trying to spank the Scrapster!  grrr ... Scrappy! Can you pleeease be nice and just answer the questions?  For me?  Besides, you do so get spanked and you know it! ... Alright alright! Grrr, the answer to the stupid question is yes

Are you spanked bare bottom, over panties, or over clothes?  Well duh!  Over fur of course.  Roz gets all three he he ... gee, thanks Scrappy!

What's the best thing about being spanked?  There's a best part?  ... Ok Scrappy, I'll answer this one.  The best part is is the closeness and intimacy that comes afterwards.  Also, if it's a punishment spanking, knowing the issue has been resolved with and we have a clean slate.

What position do you get spanked in?  OTK or OTB


Have you ever gotten spanked in public?  No.  The occasional discrete swat when nobody is looking though

What do you get spanked with the most? Hand and leather paddle


On a scale of 1-10 how much does the average spanking hurt?  I'd say about a 7


Have you ever gotten spanked with a hairbrush?  No

Have you ever been spanked so hard that you started to cry?  Yes


Were you spanked as a child?  Only once that I can recall.  Mostly it was the occasional slap to the thigh


Do you think spanking is fun?  of course not!  Roz does though ... hey! ... oh ok, she likes the erotic stuff.  The rest, not so much


Have you ever gotten spanked for bad driving (speeding ticket etc)? No.  Dogs can't drive!  Roz has been warned about speed though and once got a serious spanking for not informing Rick that she had returned home safely after driving


Have you ever gotten a spanking for no reason at all?  Yes


Have you ever gotten spanked by a teacher?  No

Is your butt spankable?  According to Rick it is


Are you currently in trouble?  Um ... Yes.  I've just had a short blog/email ban and there are more painful consequences to come :(  Ironic timing huh?

Do you get lectured during the spanking?  Always!  Usually before, during and afterwards

Have you ever seen someone else get spanked?  Once that I can recall as a young pup.  It was a litter mate, and it had absolutely NOTHING to do with me. Seriously!

Have you ever gotten spanked for cursing?  No

Have you ever gotten spanked for lying?  No

Have you ever been spanked with more than one spanking instrument during a session?  Yes.  Most spankings are with more than one implement (including the hand)


Do you hate spankings? Punishment spankings, yes

How many people spank you?  One


Have you ever gotten spanked with your butt in the air?  Are you freakin kidding me?  That's like asking have I ever sniffed another butt.  Hello?  Besides, butts should always be in the air.  Period


Have you ever gotten spanked so hard your butt was purple?  Yes

Do you think that spanking is a good punishment?  For Roz, yes .... gee, thanks again Scrappy!


Do you believe spanking has made your relationship better, or worse?  Well, Roz and Rick seem happier now than I've ever seen them


Is you butt red and sore afterwards?  Always red.  Sore depending on the intensity


Have you ever gotten spanked with a sneaker?  No.  Sneakers are for noses, not butts


Have you ever been spanked twice in one day?  Yes, more than once


Have you ever asked to be spanked for something you did wrong?  Duh - why would I?

Would you talk about spousal spankings to your friends/family members?  Only blog friends

Have you ever gotten your butt caned?  Yes.  Hate it!


Have you ever gotten spanked with a wooden spoon?  Yes

What do you get spanked for?  Breaking rules, disrespect, attitude

On average, how many times a month are you spanked?  Probably twice


Do your friends know that you get spanked?  Only my friends in blogland


On a 1-10 scale, how hard would you get spanked for something serious, such as speeding?  Probably 8


Have you ever gotten your butt belted?  Yes


Have you ever gotten your butt paddled?  Leather paddle, yes


After your spanking is over, how long before you repeat the same offence?  Depends on the offence LoL

Does your spouse enjoy spanking you?  He definitely does not enjoy punishment spankings.  Erotic spankings definitely

When is the lat time you got spanked?  Last Friday

Have you ever spanked yourself?  No

What is the worst thing about being spanked?  It hurts!  

How long does the spanking last?  I don't know.  I don't exactly keep track of time.  Probably 20 - 30 minutes.  Sometimes more.  That includes lecture, mini breaks as well


Do you like to be spanked?  Of course not!  Roz does though he he ... Scrappy! ...  Ok, ok, she likes it depending on the type of spanking.  Fun spanking she likes, but definitely not punishment.

Would you describe yourself as a rule follower, or a rule breaker?  Mostly follower

Roz here again.  Oh dear, maybe I should have done the survey myself.  Sigh! Blogger hates me tonight.  Some of the spacing is all over the place - Grrr

Thank you so much Willie for the portrait of my little 'friend'.