Today has been a very bad day for us. It is now Friday night here and as I sit here reflecting on the day I feel sad. Very sad.
I don't have the energy to go into details. Besides, I am also afraid that if I do it will all seem so silly to you readers. I'm sure it will to me too come tomorrow morning and I will wonder what the fuss was all about and why I was so sad, but tonight I am sad.
Rick and I usually enjoy our Friday's. We usually enjoy a nice lunch in a favourite cafe and then a drink at a favourite bar later on before heading on for the evening. Well, today was not one of those Friday's. Sure, we had our usual lunch and drink but today was also marred with anger, frustration, sadness and, worst of all, distance between us.
I'm happy to say that we did talk and mostly resolve things, but there are some lingering feelings. For me at least, and I am sure him too. To be clear, this is not about ttwd (well, not just about ttwd anyway). We are both still totally committed and I have absolute trust and respect for him as our leader. In fact, I told him just today how proud and amazed I am at how he has grown into his role as an HoH over the last year and how he has stepped things up recently.
I have also been thinking about saying goodbye to Roz recently because blogland has started to become an obsession for me. Honestly, those of you who have online limits, I seriously don't know how you mange to keep with up blogs, not to mention posting on your own blogs. Please tell me!
Another reason I have been thinking of saying goodbye to the blog is that I can't help committing the ultimate sin. That is comparing myself to others. When I do that, it makes me feel inadequate.
As I said before, I doubt very much I will feel this way tomorrow (at least I hope not!) - but tonight I need a hug and Rick's not here!