Merry Christmas!!

I know,  I haven't posted in forever! Life, technical difficulties etc. I have been trying to keep up with everyone though.

Well, it is almost Christmas morning here. Christmas Eve was spent with some of my family at my brothers. Christmas morning will be with the neighbours, lunch at my other brothers and evening with friends.

Before I get some much needed sleep before the festivities I just wanted to pop in and wish our blogland friends a very Merry Christmas.  Rick and I hope you have a wonderful time with family and friends and for those traveling,  safe travels.  I know I haven't been around much, but we truly appreciate your friendship and support.

I know some of our blog friends are struggling this season.  Special thoughts go out to you.

From us to you .. a very Merry Christmas :)

Still Here!

Hello friends! Did you miss me? I'm sorry I have been awol from here for so long.  I still haven't replaced the home computer and am therefore still using a tablet.  I've been using this to read and comment but it is difficult to write posts with.  Hence I have been MIA.

I feel I want to connect with my blogland friends, and to let you know I'm still here! Besides, I have so missed posting here.

There certainly has been a lot happening in blogland lately. Some friends are struggling right now with various issues.  My heart goes out to you and you are in my thoughts. There have also been some revelations that have shocked and affected many of us. I would rather not comment any further on that here.

Things for us have been fairly crazy. I had the week before last off work at Rick's insistence.  Believe me, he was not taking no for an answer! I had a cold which went to the chest and I ended up on antibiotics.  I actually enjoyed being at home and just cruising,  not doing much of anything.  Work has been crazy for me all year so the time out was welcome, even though it was due to illness. It also gave me the opportunity to get to spend some time with my cat. For those who don't know, we are nursing her through cancer.  It's been eight months now! Much longer than we thought we would have her and she is still generally holding her own quite well.

Last week I returned to work which,  of course was full on, especially after a week away! I'm feeling much better but still recovering.

It's winter here and although winter for us isn't a patch on our friends in the northern hemisphere,  I am ready for spring to arrive! Overall though,  I must say it hasn't been too bad.

On the ttwd front there hasn't been a lot since we decided to take a break.  Rick surprised me not too long after by saying he wanted to slowly make our way back and find what works for us. We discussed it, we both miss the extra connection and intimacy it brings us. We agreed we wanted to slowly reintroduce it.

Since then however,  there hasn't been much happening.  Rick said recently he does want to slowly get back to our roles,  but is unsure how to go about it. He is afraid of failing again and disappointing me (his words). I told him yes he may make mistakes,  so might I and it may not work, but that shouldn't be a reason not to try. As long as we keep communicating, we can work through it.

We have continued to 'play' from time to time. For some reason I have struggled more with the spankings and am wondering why this is.  Rick of course has noticed this too and has stopped spanking and made comments such as "such noise!". I have to say, he has modified the spanking somewhat given my struggle coping. They are not nearly as hard.

I said to him recently I wonder if my struggle could be because without the overall dynamic I don't feel in a general submissive mindset. While we may not be back on board fully with ttwd things are good and Rick is starting to assert his dominance more. Insisting I take time off to recover for example.

As I mentioned above, he is as dominant as ever in the bedroom :) We had a great night last night complete with nipple tweaking,  pinching, pulling, hair grabbing and, of course, some spanking ... which I struggled with again.  Sigh

It feels so good writing here after so long! It took me ages though on the tablet lol, so I will leave it here for now.  Hopefully it won't be so long between posts next time! Hope everyone is having a great weekend :)

Back to vanilla...for now

Hello blogland friends,

Now that you have (hopefully) recovered from finally seeing me appear in your blogger dashboard,  or equivalent, I want to say I am so sorry I have been awol for so long.  This has been due to the fact that my home computer died and we have STILL not replaced it! Huge thank you to Willie for publishing my last post letting you all know I would be awol for a while.

I also sincerely apologise to the wonderfully talented authors behind Milestones, the Dd anthology.  I had intended to post a review before the computer died. I will say I thoroughly enjoyed this book. The authors captured the essence of Dd brilliantly and I totally related to the characters and  the emotions in each story. This is  a follow up to Coming To Terms but also stands alone. I highly recommend both books if you have not read them.

I have been reading and commenting on my tablet but it is so difficult to write a post. I hope you will excuse any typos as a result.

Life has been chugging along. Work has been full on, plus we have a manager I just don't like. She is a micro manager. Super annoying!

There is some news on the Dd front. Rick and I are taking a break from being a Dd couple. Or a ttwd couple for that matter.

It is proving such a #@#$/ to post this so I will spare you the details, and myself the frustration of writing. For now we are back to being a vanilla couple, except for the occasional 'play' when the mood takes.

This is not what I want. I crave and need the power dynamic, but, it has to be right for both of us. Although there have been some periods when Dd worked well and there was consistency, Rick has always felt as though he was playing a part ... that he wasn't being himself.

Where does this leave us? I honestly don't know ... well, maybe I do because we have been here before. This wasn't our first try at Dd and the previous occasions ended in the same way. It's the deeper intimacy and connection that I miss. Although we won't be practicing Dd/ttwd anymore, I hope that we will take some of the benefits we have gained from it as we move forward.

I don't know yet what I will do with this blog. It no longer seems to have a purpose, or hold any appeal to me. One thing I do know though, I have made some amazing friends here and whether I continue blogging or not, I would love to be able to retain those friendships and connections. I hope you will remain in contact with me.

The friendships made in blogland run deep. I am so grateful and honoured to have shared our life, our story with you. I am so thankful for the wonderful support, encouragement and advice you have offered. It has meant more than I can adequately put into words.

Thank you blogland!

Please Hold

Well not exactly.....

But Roz's computer up and died on her

THE NERVE!  Does it not know she has questions that need to be answered?  Books that need to be reviewed? How on earth could it be so inconsiderate to just up and die on her like that???

Hardly ideal!

Anyway....

She wanted me to let you all know she and Rick are fine..

better than her computer anyway.  

I know you can understand her frustration of having her connections cut to blog land as you are all very important to her.  Hopefully her computer situation will improve sooner rather than later!

But until that time....

More Answers - Hurdles and Changes Edition

I apologise for taking so long to answer all of your questions.  It's a slow process lol.  I also apologise for being a bit hit and miss lately in blogland. Life has been busy in Rick and Rozzie land plus we are mourning the end to summer and imminent end to longer daylight hours.

Tomsrose asked, Your biggest hurdle in DD when you first began?

We introduced DD into our relationship about 2 and a half years ago. Prior to DD we had indulged in spanking for fun and I guess you could say an element of D/s in the bedroom.  In addition, I have always had a tendency to defer to others to make decisions and so was already deferring to Rick in general.  

We reached a point where we decided we wanted to bring the dynamic out of the bedroom and into our everyday lives and discovered DD via blogs.  The rest, as they say is history.  Well ... not quite.

I think we can all agree that any ttwd relationship is not easy to establish let alone maintain.  The fact that spanking wasn't new to us didn't make it any easier because the fact is spanking was new to us in this context.  I should say I have always considered us to be a mixture of DD and D/s with a little bit of S/m thrown 

Initially, I think the biggest hurdle for each of us was learning our roles and fining our feet as well as learning to communicate better and earlier. It also takes time to develop the level of trust required in such a relationship. 

Rick was adamant when introducing DD that he wanted it to feel natural and not forced.  He also didn't want it to become something we did simply because it is something we do (brownie points if you can get my drift on that one!).  Prior to introducing DD we had a lot of fun together and loved to tease each other.  Rick was also adamant that he didn't want to lose this part of us as a result of DD.

This meant it took time for Rick to figure out and me to discover where the boundaries lay between acceptable and non-acceptable behaviour. For me, there were many surprises in the early days either thinking I had stepped over the line and wondering why he wasn't reacting ... it turned out, the reason he didn't react was that he didn't see the situation in the same way as I had.  That in itself was another learning curve for me.  That as HoH, how he sees the behaviour or situation is what matters.  Not how I view it.

On the other hand, there were also times Rick surprised me with a spanking or some other form of consequence which I really didn't expect.  
One thing we have discovered is that living this lifestyle is a constant learning curve and we still face some of the above hurdles from time to time.  

One of the biggest hurdles we faced early on, and continue to face is lack of consistency.  Not just on Rick's part, but on mine as well.  I have said it before but Dominance and submission really do feed off each other.  It can be very difficult to maintain one when the other isn't present.

Consistency kind of leads me on to the second question below so I think I'll leave this answer here.

Bleuame asked, Do you find the structure you have create in DD confining at times? 

There are times I find our DD structure confining.  Not being able to do what I want to when I want.  There are a number of things I am not allowed to do without seeking permission first such as getting my hair cut or spending money. Also, I have to seek permission to go out and if Rick is not home when I leave, text him to let him know I am leaving and again when I return (if he is not home).  

There are times I feel like saying to heck with it, why should I need his permission anyway and just going ahead and doing it.  Needless to say, the occasions I have taken that path haven't worked out well for my butt!

I find it most restrictive if I am with friends of family without Rick and something spur of the moment crops up.  It is quite often difficult to seek and obtain permission in those circumstances.  Fortunately though, Rick understands this and is usually ok when this happens.  Unless of course it results in me doing something I know (or should know) he wouldn't approve of or if I go overboard (shopping for example).

Although I do at times find the lifestyle restrictive, there is also a great sense of freedom in my submission.  Whilst I have my opinions, and will voice those opinions, in fact Rick always seeks my view when making decisions, I don't have the responsibility and associated stress with making the final decision.  

I am truly free to be myself and Rick wants me to be myself.  I also feel loved and taken care of more than ever before.

How do you see your dynamic evolving?

It is hard to truly know how our dynamic may evolve in future.  For example, we some time ago we introduced Daddy/babygirl into our dynamic and before this happened I wouldn't have anticipated this change.  For us these are really just terms we use to help reinforce our roles. 

This question is well timed though as we are just starting to make some change in our dynamic.

I mentioned consistency above.  This is something that has been a constant hurdle.  We have found that for us there seems to be a real ebb and flow to our dynamic.  As some of you know, we took a break from our dynamic about mid way through last year for a period and I don't think we have really truly settled back into it since.  There have been long periods where ttwd was pretty non-existent.  The basic structure remained, the rules were never taken off the table.  However, consequences and accountability for adhering to the rules ceased along with role affirmation.

I got to the point where I was beginning to wonder whether Rick wanted DD anymore, whether he had lost interest.  We had some good conversations a couple of weekends ago and he assured me he does want this dynamic and that he likes what it brings us.  It was a matter of life getting in the way and perhaps both of us becoming lazy (for want of a better term).  TTWD relationships do take work, like any relationship to maintain. 

Rick also said he needed to re-evaluate our rules and decide what ones are important to him.  We have discovered that there is no point in having rules unless they are things he truly cares about.  He then surprised me by telling me he would like to explore D/s more as well as an element of S/m.

Things have been interesting here in Rick and Rozzie land since!  Last Thursday I was instructed to remove my panties then hand them to him at lunch time.  Boy that was hot!  We went to a cafe for lunch, my panties came along too, but in Rick's pocket.  He kept threatening to wave them around the cafe!

Last Saturday night I was instructed to not wear a bra and that I was to wear a top that allowed easy access (at least I kept my panties this time!). Rick was out for the afternoon and upon returning home immediately proceeded to check that I had followed instructions.  This was shortly followed by our first R/A session in what feels like forever, which included the dreaded plastic pole mentioned in my previous post.

It was a delicious evening ending in some amazing bedroom action which included some more spanking, pinching, pulling and 'tweaking'.

Es May asked, If you could only pick to keep one implement each, what would it be? Why?
Rick's answer was the cane.  Something about it being versatile. Whatever!   (Shh, I did NOT just use the "w" word).  Me, I'm going to say his hand, because I like the intimacy of skin on skin and well .. while it certainly packs a punch it's generally less evil than his favourite implement! 

Some More Answers

OK, now I have (almost) stopped blushing after my last post I thought it was time to answer some more of your questions.  I'm sorry it is taking me a while to get to all of the wonderful questions we have been asked and I hope you will bear with me.

Ronnie asked,
If you could throw away one implement, what would it be?
One of our implements is a short plastic pole which is actually off the end of a cat toy lol.  It hurts like the dickens and I imagine it would be very similar to a window blind tilt wand.  I would be more than happy if I never saw it again!

Who would you want to play the role of you in a movie?
Oh gosh.  I really don't know.  I have no real idea why really but I'm thinking Naomi Watts or Gwyneth Paltrow.

Rick and I both love the Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan combination in romantic movies such as Sleepless In Seattle and You got Mail though.  So perhaps Meg :)

Quiet Sara asked,
what is your favorite act of submission for Rick?
I would have to say sitting at his feet at night while watching TV, listening to music etc while he rubs my back, plays with my hair while giving it the occasional tug (love that!).  Kneeling in front of him while we talk or while he lectures me.  I also love to serve him by doing little things for him like fixing his drink etc.

I guess that was more than one thing.  See, I sometimes have trouble following instructions :) 

Kenzie asked,
What was your most memorable spanking?
There have been a number of spankings that have been memorable for different reasons and they have been different type of spankings also. Punishment, R/A, and even some 'play' spankings. 

There are two that stick out for me.  (Again, not following instructions :)  I posted about these at the time because they were significant to me and I think milestones for us.  They both happen to be punishment spankings. 

The first is one occasion I visited my parents on my own.  To drive to my parents place involves having to travel a notorious stretch of road. It is also a rule that when I go out I am to text when leaving and when I return home if Rick is not home when I leave/return so that he knows I am safe.

On this occasion I failed to contact Rick when I got home.  To this day I can't explain why.  It didn't help that the weather was somewhat inclement and it was evening.  Rick was also away that night so would not know when I returned home, which made letting him know even more important to him.  Having not heard from me he phoned after a while.  I remember being so shocked at both the panic and relief in his voice.  

The spanking which followed a few days later was the hardest I had received up to that point and it was also the first time he used a belt.  It wasn't just the spanking itself though.  The lecture he gave me was awful. He was extremely serious and I was crushed to realise how much I had worried him.  This was the moment I truly discovered just how protective he had become.

I wear a vanilla collar (necklace).  I am to wear it at all times, except when I go to bed and in the shower, unless I have permission not to wear it for any reason.  It is a symbol of, and reminder of our relationship and our dynamic and holds huge emotional value to both of us.  I love wearing it. It reminds me that I am his and he loves to see me wear it.  I also love the fact that it can be seen by others, but  only we know what it represents.

I forgot to put it on one morning in my rush.  Yep, you guessed it. Spanking number two!  Let me just say I have NEVER forgotten again since!  It was another serious spanking and I discovered just how important the collar and what it represents is to him.

The above spankings were memorable because they were issues Rick felt very strongly about and that was when I realised just how seriously he took them. I was blown away. They were emotional and I think the lectures and the strong feeling of connection and intimacy during and after these punishments were perhaps more memorable than the spankings themselves.  

Given the reasons for these spankings.  They were a realisation for me and reinforced how much Rick loves and cares for me and his desire to protect me.  While not pleasant at the time they each left me feeling totally loved and cared for. 

George asked,
Have yall ever visited a clothing optional beach, and if not would you want to? 
Funnily enough, one of the beaches we visit during summer is a 'clothing optional' beach.  However, it is a rather large beach and those who choose optional clothing tend to contain to a particular area ... which is well away from us lol.  

It isn't something that appeals to either of us.

Some Answers

Thank you for your fantastic questions.  I received a number of really great thought provoking questions and thought I would split them up and answer over a couple of posts.  Also, some of the questions are directed at both of us so I need to pin Rick down and get his answers.

Chickadee asked, are you able to connect with people from your country who have DD/ttwd relationships?

This also ties in with Jan who asked,  have you ever met another blogger in real life or are you too far away?

So far I have only been able to connect with other's in DD/ttwd relationships online through blogs, online chat and email.  I have yet to meet a blogger in person and am envious of those of you who have been fortunate enough to do so.

I am in regular contact with Kiwigirliegirl and would love to be able to meet in person one day, although we do live in different cities.  Different Islands in fact.  It would also be great to connect with other NZ couples as we haven't as yet.

I can't really see the opportunity arising to meet some of the many wonderful friends I have made from overseas.  That would be simply amazing and I would so love to be able to do so.

Tori asked, favourite book/author (no kink)?  I have not actually read that many non-kink authors.  To be honest, I have probably read more kink authors than non-kink lol.  

My favourite non-kink author is Sydney Sheldon and I have read all his books.  I loved the mystery and intrigue and plot twists and turns and trying to figure out the mystery as I read along.  Tori, I will answer your other questions in the next post.

Tomsrose asked:

Do you have a favorite movie?

Ok, I admit I like mushy rom-coms and there are so many I love! LoL. My favourites are Ghost, Shakespere in Love and Love Actually.  I admit to being a Top Gun freak also.  Hey, what can I say?  I was exactly the right demographic when it came out lol.  I am sure there are some more serious movies on the list, but my mind is stuck on favourite rom-coms at the moment.

Craziest place you and your hubby have gotten down to business? 

Oh gosh, not sure I want to answer this one.  Ok, deep breath ... here goes.  We have been known to get hot and heavy at the office.  I have been spanked and given Rick blow jobs at his work ... in the evening of course once most everyone else has left for the day.

We have also gotten down to business alfresco in secluded laybys around the foreshore both in and out of the car.  Rose, I will answer your other question in the next post also.


Thank you again for your great questions.  I will post some more answers soon.  Also, I have got way behind on blogs over the last couple of weeks and am trying to catch up.  So far behind I don't think I will be able to catch up and am best to start afresh reading current posts.  I apologise if I have not visited you.

The Weekend and March Q&A Month

Thank you for your wonderful comments and well wishes on my last post.  I'm sorry I haven't replied to your comments individually, I thought I would instead publish this update.

We had an absolutely amazing weekend and attended both of the Boss's concerts.  Our accommodation was a bit disappointing.  It was not what we had anticipated and the fridge froze everything, but it met its purpose and didn't detract from an amazing weekend.  Oh, did I say amazing? ... oh, I did.

We arrived Friday morning to discover a pit queue was forming for the first show.  For those who don't know, it is a system whereby if you have front section tickets you register and are given a number and to retain your number you have to turn up to the venue at certain allotted times for a roll call.  If you do that, you get to go ahead of the rest of the front section on the night which guarantees you a good spot. We were fortunate that there were only two roll calls Friday evening to attend.

The next roll calls were 8am and 1pm Saturday, at which point were were told to stay at the venue for the duration.  It was wonderful waiting it out with other fans and meeting people who shared the same passion from all over the world.  Kind of like blogland really :)  The weather was superb and there was plenty of food and drink etc.  Finally were were let into the stadium and Rick and I ended up right up front, on the rail.  It was interesting to watch the final preparations going on on stage, including the stage being vacuumed!

Bruce finally appeared on stage on his own with his signature guitar and harmonica and opened the show with his version of Royals from our own latest Kiwi sensation Lorde.  Then it was time for the E Street Nation to join him on stage.

During one song he came down to where were were and sat on the rail between Rick and I then proceeded to lean right back until he was practically lying on top of us.  I got to touch the Boss!!  Um ... no Willie, that is not a euphemism for something else! LoL.  It was a fantastic show and Bruce and the band ran through the whole of the Born In The USA album during the show.  There was definitely magic in the night.  (Yes, that is a song lyric :)

We could barely move to walk out of the stadium and people kept coming up to me on the way out saying they had seen me on screen and congratulating me on my moment.

We decided not to enter the pit queue for the second show as the previous day had been exhausting attending all the roll calls etc and we knew we would never make an 8am roll call after the previous night!  Instead we started the day in the leisurely manner.  We had a lovely brunch in town and headed to the venue much later.

This time we opted for the back of the front section.  Although not close to the action this time it was great as the screens were brilliant and we had a different perspective on the sound from further back.  Bruce gave us a different set list and this time ran through the entire Born To Run album.  I think between both nights both Rick and I heard most of our favourites.

It was a wonderful weekend and I am so happy that I was at Rick's side to witness his dream come true.    It far exceeded our expectations.

As for the anxieties I had before the event which I shared in my previous post, I am glad to say they didn't become much of an issue.  Rick was so understanding and patient about my concerns and did everything he could to ease my mind and ensure my comfort.  Even though he was there to see his idol and that was his main focus, he still put me first.  Have I mentioned before how much I love him? :)

The photos below are taken from Bruce Springsteen.net and yes, we are in the first one :)  The girl with Bruce is a lucky audience member who was definitely not shy to sing into the microphone and was taken up to the main stage by Bruce and Stevie to continue the song

I have yet to catch up with blogland and everyone's posts from much of last week and hope you will forgive me.  I will more than likely continue to be awol for a little longer.

Also, March is Q & A month in blogland so please feel free to direct any questions you may wish to ask to me, Rick or to both of us in the comments.  If you don't wish to leave your questions in a comment, please email me at rozinhishands@gmail.com

I am also currently reading and thoroughly enjoying Milestones, an anthology of 7 different DD stories written by 7 wonderfully talented authors.  I hope to publish my review of this book shortly but I definitely recommend you add this to you reading lists!

Boss Time!!

Firstly I would like to say thank you all so very much for your lovely, kind words, comments, emails and chats when I lost my boy.  I can't tell you how much it meant to me.  You guys truly rock :)

It's finally here!  The looong wait is over.  Tomorrow (Friday) we take off to see Bruce Springsteen in concert!

If you are a regular reader here you probably know that Bruce is Rick's absolute idol.  He is a huge (understatement) fan.  You probably also know that Bruce came 'down under' last year but unfortunately didn't make it past Australia and how gutted we were as we thought concerts in NZ to be a real possibility.

This time around he has included NZ and is playing two concerts ... and Rick being the massive fan that he is insisted we had to go to both!  So ... we're off tomorrow to attend both concerts over the weekend.

Rick saw Bruce over 10 years ago when he last played in NZ and I am so excited to be there at his side this time around.  I can't wait to see his excitement and expression when the Boss takes the stage :)  Don't get me wrong.  This is not all entirely Rick's gig.  I am also a big fan and am quite proud of how much of Bruce's extensive repertoire I know (if I do say so myself).  Oh yes, I've been brushing up on the songs and 'practicing' lol.  Of course, it goes without saying Rick doesn't need to brush up lol.  I am also looking forward to just spending the weekend away together.

I am a bit worried though how I will handle the crowd and the atmosphere and whether I will have the required stamina.  For both of us, but for Rick especially, this is a dream come true.  I would hate to detract from his full enjoyment by not being able to keep pace, or for him to compromise his preferred 'spot' at the concert for my benefit (our tickets are in the front section standing ... of course! lol).  Summer seems to be finally making a late surge here so I am crossing fingers for fine weather. It should be, according to the forecast at least!

Having said that, I am a little more relaxed now than I was.  I'm sure I'll be caught up in the atmosphere and music and be fine.  Not to mention watching the man I love getting into it and enjoying his dream come true :)

We will be away until Monday evening which, of course, also means I will be awol from blogland for a  few days.

I realise I have posted much about 'us' or DD recently.  I do have a couple of posts floating around in my head which I hope to make some semblance of sense of and publish in the near future.

Milestones - Available 14 February 2014!

I was thrilled and excited when Renee Rose sent me an advanced copy of the DD anthology Coming to Terms last year and asked me if I would read it and write a review.  I thoroughly enjoyed it and posted a review here.

These wonderful authors have got together once again and produced Milestones.  A follow up to Coming to Terms.

Having enjoyed Coming to Terms I was excited to learn about Milestones.  I am now even more excited to have been given an advanced copy of this book by Renee.

Milestones is available 14 February.   Mark you diary!  I hope to post a review shortly. In the meantime, if I'm not around much it's because I'm busy reading :)

From making it a year cancer-free to adjusting to a spouse home from a tour of duty, seven domestic discipline couples grapple with life’s milestones.

WARNING: This book contains scenes with spanking, Domestic Discipline, and graphic sex.

"The First Submission" by Anastasia VitskyBred to uphold duty and tradition from the cradle, rising legal scholar Sori shrinks from marriage and assuming the role of disciplinarian. Temper pot Karie longs for freedom as a First Responder and scorns the fusty Sori. In this prequel to Becoming Clissine, Karie and Sori must choose their own happiness. Can they find love in an arranged marriage?

October Something by Jade Cary

As their tenth wedding anniversary approaches, Kate and Jack Barrington are signing divorce papers instead of exchanging tin. Desperate to save their marriage, Jack holds Kate hostage at their mountain retreat, where happiness once reigned supreme. Can they move through the bad times and find love once again?

Major Changes by Cara Bristol

Before her military husband left for Afghanistan, Cadence Simmons depended on Rahm’s love, guidance, and protection. But his service to his country forced her to become more independent and make decisions for herself. He’s home for good now and eager to resume where they left off. But Cadence isn’t quite sure she wants things exactly as they were before. Can a little domestic discipline help this loving couple through some major changes?

The Barn by Alta Hensley

Determined to convert an old barn into the home of her dreams, Paige Holland returns to her small town after twelve years. She finds herself face to face with the man she never forgot. The same man who shattered her heart in a million pieces. The same man she never wanted to see again, yet also the same man she so desperately missed. Connor McNeil...her first true love.

Making It 'Write' by Celeste Jones

Jill Carpenter is thrilled when her first spanking fiction novel is accepted for publication and a whole new life as a professional writer opens up for her. The only catch? Complying with her husband's rules regarding absolute secrecy and privacy.

A Time to Heal by Sue Lyndon

Stephie’s cancer went into remission a year ago, but her husband, Marcus, still treats her like she’s breakable. They resume practicing domestic discipline, but Marcus has a hard time following through with punishments, leaving Stephie frustrated that it’s not the same as before her illness. Can they move past the fears that have built up between them to find the intimacy they lost?

Unmet Desire by Renee Rose

Watching his wife unravel as she faces infertility is as heartbreaking for Luis as it is for Claire, but the more he compassion he shows, the more she drifts away. Deciding to take a firm hand, he whisks her away to their mountain condo for a weekend boot camp to reaffirm their roles and reignite their passion for one another.

Loss and Grattitude

Ana's Love Spanks story prompted some discussion around when our old life raises its head and collides with our 'current' life.

This is exactly what happened for me last week.  It also explains why I have been a bit hit and miss in blogland this past week.  If I haven't visited you, I apologise.  I hope to get back on track and pick up where I left off.

I think I have mentioned here before that my ex and I had Siberian Husky dogs and that we used to race them as sled dogs.  When we separated, the dogs stayed with my ex.  It made sense as there was no way I was going to be able to handle them myself.

We put a lot of time, energy and effort in raising them and, when old enough, racing them.  They were our life and took the place of having children to a large extent.  Therefore, they have always been a part of me and, although I have barely seen them in the last few years, they remain in my heart and will always be my babies.

On Tuesday I had a phone call from my ex telling me the youngest (now 14) and last surviving dog was in the vet and that things did not look good.  It was a distraught phone call.  I dropped everything, left work and went out to the vet to see him.  He had had a massive seizure and a dangerously high temperature.  The vets had had difficulty controlling the seizure which ended up lasting close to 30 minutes and had to anaesthetise him.

He had been unconscious from the very beginning of the seizure, which was a blessing, and that was  how I saw him.  It broke my heart to see my baby lying there unconscious and unresponsive.

Due to the nature of what had happened everything was an unknown. The vets couldn't tell us if he would wake up and if he did, what his recovery would be like.  We also had no clue as to what had caused the seizure.

My ex and I decided we therefore had to give him a chance to fight and to see if he could/would recover.  Tuesday night we had to move him from the vet clinic taking care of him to the after hours clinic so that he could be cared for overnight.  We did this and brought him back to the regular clinic Wednesday morning.

He started showing signs of possible responsiveness on the Wednesday but didn't regain full consciousness.  The vet staff were preparing him to move him back to the after hours clinic (which meant us having to drive him there ourselves) when he made the decision for us and stopped breathing.

It was a traumatic experience for both of us.  You may think things may have been a little awkward.  Particularly between my ex and Rick.

Rick was truly amazing.  He fully understood that it was important for me to be there for my boy and that it was a priority for me.  He understood what these dogs meant to me and also that this was something my ex and I had to do together.  He gave us space to be with our boy and make decisions for him together and was fully supportive of not only me, but my ex as throughout.  He was, and continues to be such an amazing source of support and comfort to me loving on me.

My love, I am so grateful for you patience, understanding and support and how you were, and continue to be there for me every step of the way with your loving arms.  I cannot adequately express how much this means to me.  You amaze me and are truly my rock.

I am grateful to my ex for involving me and giving me the opportunity to say goodbye and to the veterinarian staff who did their absolute best for him while treating us with the utmost compassion, empathy and kindness.

It's Here!!! - Love Spanks 2014!

Enjoy fabulous stories and be in to win some fantastic prizes!  7 - 9 February.

When two grown-ups love each other, someone might get a spanking!

How would you like a brand-new Kindle Fire or Nook HD or another prize from a pool valued at over $1,000?

How about free stories from award-winning authors?

This Valentine’s Day, you can participate in a short story extravaganza! F/F authors will showcase romance, paranormal, sci-fi, fantasy and spanking fiction for your enjoyment. Chat with your favorite authors, meet new-to-you authors, find great new books, and meet new friends!

Want to become a Love Spanks ambassador and earn an extra prize entry? See below!

Even better, participation could earn you a GRAND PRIZE!

• Kindle Fire or Nook HD (winner’s choice)!
  (donated by Blushing Books)
• Book cover plus author promotional package for one F/F book(donated by Fantasia Frog Designs)
• Custom social media package for a F/F author(donated by The Cover Artisan)
• Pre-publication consultation of a F/F manuscript up to 15K(donated by Wizards in Publishing)
• Beginning Domestic Discipline Boot Camp package: 
  2 books and a 6-month online couple membership
  (donated by Learning Domestic Discipline)
• Three-month membership to Discipline and Desire

• $50 gift certificate to Amazon(donated by Beachwalk Press)
• $25 gift certificate to Evernight Publishing
  (donated by the same)
• $10 gift certificate to Amazon
  (donated by Read the Rainbow)
• $10 gift certificate to All Romance Ebooks
  (donated by the same)
• Custom-made wooden paddle*
  (donated by Blondie’s Place)
  *Available to US and Canada participants only
• Author spotlight feature(donated by VC Erotica)
• Author feature(donated by Fallen Over Book Reviews)
• Author spotlight feature(donated by Erzabet’s Enchantments)

•  Book Bundles from:
  Bold Strokes Books
  Breathless Press
  Coming Together
  Decadent Publishing
  JMS Books
  Jolynn Raymond
  Library of Spanking Fiction
  Loose Id
  Phaze Books
  Ylva Publishing

Plus, the first 50 Love Spankers will receive a copy of The Bodyguard by Saranna DeWylde!

Free books for all Love Spankers!

• Vampire’s Bard by Kate Richards
• First of May by Caitlin Ricci

Many authors also will offer a contest on their individual blogs.  Your comment on their blogs automatically enters you in both the main contest and the individual contests!

What’s the catch?  Absolutely nothing!  We love writing for you and want to thank you for your readership.  Perhaps someone might get a spanking or two, but that’s a reward rather than a catch, right?  

Here are the rules:

1. Visit each blog between Friday, February 7 and Sunday, February 9 to read the posted stories and excerpts.
2. Leave a comment answering the story question on each blog.  You will receive one entry per blog for the grand prize drawing.  You will also be automatically entered in that author’s individual contest, if she has one.
3. If you have visited all of the blogs, visit Ana’s blog to sign up for FIVE bonus entries to the grand prize.
   Deadline is midnight EST (UTC -5) on February 9!!
4. If you successfully completed a previous challenge (Spank or Treat 2013, Spankee Doodle 2013, Love Spanks 2013, or Spank or Treat 2012), you may add “VIP” to your comments.  You will earn THREE bonus entries toward the grand prize.  (Yes, we will be doing this again.  Yes, if you successfully complete the Love Spanks 2014 challenge you can become a VIP for our next activity!)
5. If you are a F/F author or thinking of becoming one, please add “FF” to your comments. That way, your name will be entered in the special F/F author prize drawings.
6. Visit any of the participating blogs on Friday, February 14 to find out the lucky winners.  Will it be you?

Like these events? Want to support your friendly F/F authors? Become a Love Spanks 2014 Ambassador! In exchange for promoting this event, you will receive one extra prize entry, AND you are still eligible to participate and win prizes!

To find out the details, contact Head Ambassador Tara Finnegan at tarafinneganromance at gmail dot com, with the subject line “Love Spanks Ambassador.”

For more information, updates, and a list of participating authors, please visit:

http://governingana.wordpress.com

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Twitter hashtag: #lovespanks