Mr BB's DD Questions Answered

In this post Mr BB posed some very interesting DD related questions.  I said I would answer them on my blog but haven't been able to get to it until now.  My apologies for the delay.

These were great questions and they really made me think about our own dynamic so it was a great exercise for me.  Thank you Mr BB!


When did you first hear about Domestic Discipline?
I can't remember exactly.  I think it was about two years ago.

What drew you to finding out more about Domestic Discipline?
We had played around with D/s dynamics before commencing DD.  However, it felt more like role playing and we wanted something that felt more natural and that was a lifestyle rather than an occasional game.

Also, I have naturally submissive tendencies in that I generally defer to others to make decisions.  Therefore, I was already deferring to my husband in this area and we wanted to take this further.

Is Domestic Discipline a lifestyle choice for you?
Absolutely.  Although we have some fun with it, we take it very seriously and it underpins how we relate to each other.  There is also no 'vacation' from DD.

Have you heard of Domestic Discipline outside of anything to do with a blog/forum?
No.  I hadn't heard of it until I found Taken In Hand, which was the first blog I came across on the subject.  My husband found it actually.

Do you feel that Domestic Discipline is only for married couples?
No.  In my view this is something any couple can introduce into their relationship whether married or not, living together or not.  However, it does of course pose some challenges for couples that don't live together.

Are single and dating people a part of the DD community too?
This lifestyle does require a deep bond and understanding between the couple and trust in each other in order to work properly.  As long as these factors are present I don't see why single or dating people shouldn't be a part of the DD community.

In your opinion or practice, is Domestic Discipline ONLY for disciplinary reasons?
While discipline is an important tool within our DD dynamic it is not the entire focus.  For us, it is about mutual respect and the way we communicate and interact with each other on a daily basis.  It improves our communication, helps me to react/respond to my husband more respectfully and not in the ways I used to before DD.

It also helps resolve any conflicts and has reduced my stress levels by leaning on my husband more and by him making the ultimate decisions.

When did you feel you understood what a HoH style Dominant and TiH style submissive really was?
It has taken a year or more to come to grips with this and I'm not sure I understand it fully still.  It's a constant learning curve.  We are also constantly developing and evolving in our roles.

What is TiH List, HoH Rules, SitDD, PoD, Tolerance LaDDer?
They are all tools available to a couple in a Domestic Discipline relationship.
TiH List - a list made by the TiH of things she feels she needs to work on, goals she wishes to achieve.
HoH Rules - rules established by the HoH for the TiH to follow.  These are developed from the TiH list.
SitDD - a discussion between the HoH and TiH about their DD relationship, how the TiH is tracking towards her goals etc
PoD - progression of discipline - the progression of discipline from the first, second, and subsequent occurances of a misdemeanour made by the TiH.
Tolerance laDDer - measurement of the pain tolerance of the TiH to spanking.

What are the differences or similarities between Christian Domestic Discipline & Domestic Discipline?
I'm not really sure as we practice Domestic Discipline.  However, the impression I get is that there is little difference between the two, except that couples who practice CDD are guided by religion in their DD journey.

(in your own words) What is Domestic Discipline?
Domestic Discipline is a consensual lifestyle adopted by a couple where one partner becomes the Head of the Household or HoH and the other partner submits to the authority of the HoH.  The HoH has ultimate authority and is the final decision maker.  Both parties agree to a set of household rules and the HoH may establish rules for the submissive to follow.  It is also agreed the HoH will correct the submissive for any breaking of the rules, unacceptable/undesirable behaviour by use of discipline, including spanking.

The aim of Domestic Discipline is to enhance the relationship.  Create more intimacy and closeness and above all, to create domestic harmony, both within the household and relationship.  It is also a means for each partner to develop and grow as individuals.

Domestic Discipline is practiced differently by each couple and each couple needs to find the balance that works for them.