Thursday 5 June 2014

Back to vanilla...for now

Hello blogland friends,

Now that you have (hopefully) recovered from finally seeing me appear in your blogger dashboard,  or equivalent, I want to say I am so sorry I have been awol for so long.  This has been due to the fact that my home computer died and we have STILL not replaced it! Huge thank you to Willie for publishing my last post letting you all know I would be awol for a while.

I also sincerely apologise to the wonderfully talented authors behind Milestones, the Dd anthology.  I had intended to post a review before the computer died. I will say I thoroughly enjoyed this book. The authors captured the essence of Dd brilliantly and I totally related to the characters and  the emotions in each story. This is  a follow up to Coming To Terms but also stands alone. I highly recommend both books if you have not read them.

I have been reading and commenting on my tablet but it is so difficult to write a post. I hope you will excuse any typos as a result.

Life has been chugging along. Work has been full on, plus we have a manager I just don't like. She is a micro manager. Super annoying!

There is some news on the Dd front. Rick and I are taking a break from being a Dd couple. Or a ttwd couple for that matter.

It is proving such a #@#$/ to post this so I will spare you the details, and myself the frustration of writing. For now we are back to being a vanilla couple, except for the occasional 'play' when the mood takes.

This is not what I want. I crave and need the power dynamic, but, it has to be right for both of us. Although there have been some periods when Dd worked well and there was consistency, Rick has always felt as though he was playing a part ... that he wasn't being himself.

Where does this leave us? I honestly don't know ... well, maybe I do because we have been here before. This wasn't our first try at Dd and the previous occasions ended in the same way. It's the deeper intimacy and connection that I miss. Although we won't be practicing Dd/ttwd anymore, I hope that we will take some of the benefits we have gained from it as we move forward.

I don't know yet what I will do with this blog. It no longer seems to have a purpose, or hold any appeal to me. One thing I do know though, I have made some amazing friends here and whether I continue blogging or not, I would love to be able to retain those friendships and connections. I hope you will remain in contact with me.

The friendships made in blogland run deep. I am so grateful and honoured to have shared our life, our story with you. I am so thankful for the wonderful support, encouragement and advice you have offered. It has meant more than I can adequately put into words.

Thank you blogland!



78 comments:

  1. Oh, Roz, I was so glad to finally see you back and now...I'm sad. I hope all is well, and that you and Rick find what you both need whether it's vanilla or ttwd. Sending you hugs.

    Sass

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    1. Thank you so much for your lovely sweet comment Sass. We are doing well. We are both missing what ttwd gives us and are going to take slow steps back to ttwd and finding what will work for both of us.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  2. Hi, Roz --
    Sending you strength (to deal with the micromanaging superviser, I hate that, too) and good wishes.
    Take care,
    Meg

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    1. Hi Meg, welcome and thank you so much for reading and commenting:)

      Thank you for the wishes :)

      Hugs
      Roz

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  3. Don't you dare think about taking down this blog You are a frequent visitor to my blog and you know I hardly qualify as DD, TTWD or any other initial you want to assign, and yet I'm still here. I love hearing from and visiting my friends - you can be the book reviewer if you feel you need a purpose to keep the blog going. Whatever it is, DO NOT GO AWAY.

    Sorry things aren't working out the way you want with DD, but you two will come to a solution that will work for both of you.

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    1. I agree with Sunny! Please don't go. Even if you post very rarely! We would miss you too much!!
      I hope you can find a reason to stay, but if not, I'll support you. And yes. We'll always be friends. :)

      I'm so sorry about dd/ttwd for you. That breaks my heart. There has to be a way that you and Rick can find a dynamic that will meet both your needs. Keep moving forward. Keep looking.
      Hang in there. We're here for ya!

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    2. Hey Roz...I'm joing Sunny and Sarah...there is no reason to take your blog down. If you don't feel like posting a blog...don't but leave it here for when you do. As you know, my blog is more TTWD very lite than anything else...and you'd better not stop visiting!

      Hope you and Rick find what works for both of you. Sending lots of prayers and positive energy.

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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    3. Hey there Roz, I'm with these girls - please do not go away! I sometimes wonder where I fit in here too, but like you said, the friendships are beyond special - and the things that we share and learn from each other are priceless.

      I hope that you will keep your blog up and add to it whenever the mood strikes you. It shouldn't be a duty but a pleasure, so do what's best for you.

      But we here in blogland treasure you and don't want to lose you. And even as you are going through this change, I'm sure there are many others who are also going through it and would benefit from any insights or discussion on how to manage their feelings about it.

      I will stick with you whatever you decide - I hope that you and Rick find a way to keep that close connection as you go forward. And I hope that things improve at your work.

      Love & hugs,
      Cali

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    4. Sunny - your comment made me smile. Thank you:) we miss what ttwd brings us and have talked and are going to work to find what is right for us.
      Sarah - Thank you so much for your lovely words. They too made me smile:) we have talked and understand each other's needs and wants much better and are going to work on a way forward that works for both of us.

      Cat - Thank you so much ... and no, I would never stop visiting, even if I took down my own blog:) we both miss what ttwd gives us and have talked and have a better idea of what aspects work for us and what doesn't. We are going to slowly work our way back and try and find the right balance for us.
      Cali - thank you do much for your sweet words:) you sre right, the friendships we make here run deep and this community is about sharing the ups and downs in order to help others snd supporting each other. As I said above, we both miss what ttwd gives us and have a better idea of what aspects work for us snd what doesn't. We are slowly going to work towards a way forward that works for us. I want to share that experience, so I guess you are stuck with me :)

      Thank you ladies for your wonderful sweet comments. They made me smile :)

      Hugs
      Roz

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  4. It IS nice to see you on the dashboard again Roz...I'm so guilty of not being there in a long while too:) I hope the break you are taking gives you and Rick the opportunity to do some thinking and soul searching...hopefully in the end you can land on something that will work for you both.

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    1. Hi Tess, thank you so much :) we have talked about what we both want/need and both miss what ttwd gives us and are going to take slow steps to hopefully find what works for both of us.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  5. Roz, I am so sorry that things are like this for you at the moment. First of all, a manager like that must be a real nuisance. But what I am so much more sorry about is that you and Rick have to step back into the vanilla world, although you would love to have it otherwise. I hope so much that you find a way to include the ttwd benefits and that you might maybe do DD again sooner or later, when it feels right for you and Rick.
    Sometimes it is just right to have a break and it seems that you have had your share of breaks in the past, … and have come back to DD after a while. Maybe Rick needs to find another way that he is more comfortable with? That would be neat and I really do hope that it just works out for you. I am fully with you about missing the deeper intimacy and connection, and this makes me sad. I am sure you have talked things through, probably again and again, but is it maybe possible that Rick did not realize what he and you would maybe not have as much as before? Sorry, this sounds harsher than I meant it, this is not meant as criticism and I don’t want to be nosy either, I am just at a loss for words.
    I am with Sunny: Don’t take your blog down and don’t go away, please. Hey, if nothing else works, make it a Bruce Springsteen fan blog. :-) I really hope so much you find a good way for the both of you.

    many hugs

    Nina

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    1. Thank you so much Nina, you are so sweet. We both had a giggle at turning the blog into a Bruce fan blog. I think Rick really liked that idea lol

      we have talked and are both missing what ttwd brings us. I think the issue is the structure of Dd ... rules snd consequences. Rick has said he thinks there were rules that were just there, they weren't things necessarily important to him. Therefore he struggled to hold me accountable, which makes a lot of sense.

      Other aspects of it worked well and we miss them so we are going to take small steps back to ttwd and to finding what will work for ud. Less rules based.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  6. Hugs, Roz! For what's it's worth, I think you should stay!

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    1. Thank you so much Misty:) ad I said above, we both miss a lot of aspects of ttwd and are going to take slow steps to find what may work for us. So, I won't disappear :)

      Hugs
      Roz

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  7. Please don't leave. Your experience that you share is vital. I think that when you talk about your ups and downs with ttwd or share how your husband is dealing with his part of the dynamic it helps us (at least me) to see things in our relationship.
    But most important, us blog friends need to stick together. If spankings are the only things holding us together - well that kind of stinks. Hang in there my friend.

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    1. Hi Blondie, your comment gave me much food for thought. Thank you :)

      You are right, this community is about helping each other by sharing our ups and downs and the friendships formed are so much deeper than the commonality we share with ttwd and spanking.

      We have talked and now have a better understanding of each other's wants/needs etc. We are going to take slow steps back to ttwd and finding what is right for us. I do want to share that process so will be sticking around. Guess you're stuck with me a bit longer lol :)

      Hugs
      Roz

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  8. Sorry to read DD isn't working out for you both. All relationships are unique and have elements of TTWD, you've lost sight of one version, another will come, perhaps you need to build from the ground up, see things through fresh eyes. I really hope you both find what you need.
    Don't go. You're too important to blogland. Post whatever you like.
    Hugs DF

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    1. Hi DF, thank you do much, and thank you for the compliment:)

      I think you hit the nail on the head. We both miss what ttwd gives us and have talked. We realised there were certain aspects of this dynamic that worked well for us and others we strugged with. I think the rules and accountability Rick struggled with. We are going to slowly move forward and try to find what works for us. Perhaps a little less rule based.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  9. I'm sorry, Roz, that you have to give up on your DD, but glad your relationship is still continuing. My husband is so not apt to punish me. Even if he acts like he's going to, many times it leads to sex, soon into it. I'm going to show him your post and see if he feels like Rick does. I wish you well in whatever you decide to do with your blog. I understand the non-posting, because I feel like I don't have anything really to post in this blogland. God bless you and all you love,- Belle L.

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    1. Well, I had my husband read this, and his response was that he feels like he is playing a role, but that he plays a role in a lot of areas of his life. He says he likes spanking me. He says punishing his wife does not come natural though, but he wants to do whatever it is that I need. Yes, I would of rather him say that he has been wanting to spank me for discipline as long as I've been craving it, however I will accept that he likes to spank me, and he will discipline me, because I need it. Thank you for posting this, because it opened up an opportunity for me to communicate with my husband without having to start up the conversation. I still feel funny talking about it. I just like it to happen. I waited for over 30 years for that to happen, and it didn't work. Maybe if you actually did "Role Playing" in your play, it would help you. I've thought about it, but like I said, something I feel funny about talking to him about.

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    2. Hi Belle, I'm sorry I am so late in replying. I am so glad my post prompted you to talk to your husband. His response was interesting and I think he feels much the same as Rick. He enjoys spanking me and some aspects of control but is not naturally dominant and struggles with the rules and accountability.

      We are doing well and slowly making our way back to ttwd and finding what works for us. Probably a lot less rule based.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  10. You know, honey, you are as a couple, more like many other couples around here than you could guess.

    Life shifts, grows, evolves, and gets in the way sometimes. Certainly we are at a place now that I never ever dreamed of - and it is not really Dd. I reckon if we let them, that our bodies cause our thinking to change. We lust after one thing, and then something else comes along that we never even suspected we wanted.

    Embrace change, live for the moment, and love a lot. All I can say is that in the two years since I first read 'that book', Dan has changed beyond belief. He would deny it emphatically, but I can tell you that it is a fact. I am willing to bet, that in six months' time you will be turning yet another corner on your road, one that you least anticipate at this point in time.

    It's been wonderful knowing you, emailing with you, working on a post with you and learning from you. Thank you.

    Many, many hugs
    Ami

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    1. Hi Ami, thank you so much. Your comment gave me much food for thought. Life does change and evolve and we should embrace it.

      Ttwd for us has evolved over time. We both miss what it brings us and are slowly going to make our way back and find what is right for us. Rick is not naturally dominant and struggled with rules and accountabilitys so it will probably be less rule based.

      Hugs
      Roz

      we

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  11. I was glad to see a post from you, but then sad. I hope that the two of you are able to find something that works for you both. Life is always changing and who knows what's waiting just down the road. I hope for only good things for you! (((hugs)))

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    1. Hi Grace, thank you so much. I'm sorry for taking so long to reply. Rick felt as though he was playing a role when holding me accountable and reaffirming roles. Ho didn't feelmhe was being himself.

      We both miss what ttwd gives us and are going to slowly make our way back and find what will work for us. Probably a lot less rule based.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  12. Hi Roz,
    I have also been AWOL myself. I happen to just take a look and seen your your post. I'm sorry about your break and I can relate. DD has taken a slight backseat over at my house also. He tries once in a while but there hasn't been much consistency lately. As much as I do want this, I want us to BOTH be happy even more. I wish the best for you both!
    Hugs
    Km

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    1. Hi Kim, thank you, I'm sorry ttwd has taken a back seat for you also. In our case, Rick just didn't feel he was being himself when holding me accountable and things like RA. He enjoys spanking me though lol and the control.

      We both miss what ttwd gives us and are going to slowly work our way back and fine what is right for us. It will probably be a lot less rule based.

      I hope you are able to talk to your husband. Tell him how you feel and find out how he feels about your dynamic.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  13. No, life is not easy ...

    Hold on, Roz, you'll see, everything works out for the better. I like Ami's comment. Wait and you will see where you are in a few months.
    Most often it is so that we are ready for change, when it is best for us ... have faith ...

    Hugs,
    Mona Lisa








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    1. Hi Mona Lisa, thank you, your comment made me smile :)

      You and Ami are right. Life does change. We both miss what ttwd gives us and are going to work our way back and finding what is right for us. Rick struggled with rules and accountability. He never felt he was being himself. However he liked the control snd rnjoys spanking me lol. Our new path is likely to be much less rule based.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  14. Hi Roz
    Don't go, you are always there for others and is great reading your comments.
    I'm with Blondie, I think posts showing true, real life ups and downs are important. We do not all live in a perfect fantasy land we all struggle. Telling it how it is is very important.

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    1. Thank you so much Janey:) You are right, we do all struggle and sharing our struggles helps others as well as ourselves.

      We are going to slowly make our way back to ttwd and finding out what works for us. We both loved ttwd and what it gives us but Rick always felt he was playing a part and not being himself when it came to holding me a accountable, so it is likely to be far less rule based.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  15. Is this the part where I tell you ( based on the comments above) I told you so!? I told you all of these wonderful people WANT you to stay!!

    I am not going to go into your dynamic as we have discussed this at length but what I am going to say is what Ami said...you two are more like many people around here than you are not- has to be one of the most accurate statements I have recently read

    I know this post was a difficult one for you to type out, and not because you don't have a computer. Feel the warmth and love these woman are giving you Roz. It is as sincere and honest as you have always been. Bottom line- all these silly acronyms that drive me crazy aside, we all want a stronger relationship and connection with our spouse. How we get there is as unique as all of us....but our desires for it unite us. In short ( no pun intended *wink*) YOU are US!
    Much, much love my friend
    love
    willie

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    1. Hi Willie, lol, yes, I guess you can say it. Thank you so much for encouraging me to post this. I am overwhelmed and so thankful for the wonderful support I have received. I can't thank you enough for the support you have given me

      Posting this also resulted in us talking more. Rick loves yhe control ... and spanking me lol but always felt he wasn't being himself when it came to rules and accountability. We both miss the connection ttwd gives us and are slowly going to make our way back. It will probably be a lot less rule based.

      Love and hugs
      Roz

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    2. Hey Willie you went private and forgot me lol. can you add me or email me... daisychristianx3@yahoo.com

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  16. Roz, I am in exactly the same place as you. Nick indulges me and spanks me some. But I could never, ever get him into anything DD. I tried for years and would periodically become really angry with him. I finally gave up - on the DD stuff. We are still closer than we were before and when he does spank, I take it where I want it to be in my mind, just as I did before I came out to him. I can't insist on it if its wrong for him, even if it would be right for me.

    Now as to this blog.Stay for goodness sake, write about anything. Go look at my site for the last three years or so. It's often pretty vanilla. You need to be here because you are a spanko - you need the support of 'your kind', whether you engage in the behavior or not. You're right there are friends here and that's why I stay. Don't go.

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    1. Hi PK, thank you so much :) we both miss what ttwd gives us and have talked. There are many aspects we both love, but it seems Rick never truly felt he was being himself when it came to the rules and accountability of the dd structure. We are going to slowly make our way back and try to find the right balance for both of us. Probably a lot less rule based.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  17. Its just lovely to see a post from you.

    I am sorry that you both feel you need to take a break from things, but yet you both have to be on the same page as each other, and do what you both think is right.

    Dont stop blogging, it doesnt have to be D/s or kink orientated, you have a great support network here no matter what.

    xx

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    1. Thank you so much Tori:) you are right. The support here is amazing and I am so thankful for my blog friends.

      We do have to be on the same page. We talked and it's funny because where things felt natural to me, they didn't to him and vice versa.

      There are many aspects that we both loved, but Rick just never felt he was being himself when it came to rules and accountability. We are going to slowly work our way back to ttwd and finding the right balance for us.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  18. Oh gosh... PLEASE PLEASE don't go! I look forward to seeing you around here! Your comments make me smile!
    I echo what AMI and everyone else has said. We are all very similar! No one has the perfect DD or TTWD. It doesn't matter if reading about it makes you happy or living it makes you happy... We all go through life's changes and that is OK. Just think how you can help others see this as a normal part of life!! Dd, TTWD and not either one are ok.
    I can't even define my guy and me, we don't fit in any category! That is the nature of human beings!

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    1. Thank you Minelle, sweet of you to say my comments make you smile. This one made me smile :)

      You are right, nobody has the perfect ttwd and sharing the ups and downs helps others as well as ourselves.

      We both miss ttwd and are going to work our way back and try to find the right balance.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  19. Vanilla or chocolate or spumoni...you are forever our Scrappy. At a certain point in these friendships, you just share life Roz. We all want the same thing and how we get there doesn't matter so much. I get not having much of a desire to write but once you get a new computer you know where you can find me whenever you are up far too late. I will be looking forward to it...and to bossing you off to bed after we've laughed some, I've spilled coffee etc.

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    1. Hi Susie, your comment made me smile :) I miss our chats ... and you bossing me to bed lol. I haven't figured out on the tablet how to tell when people are online so haven't been initiating chat, so if you see me on flick me a message:)

      You are right, the friendships made here go beyond and are deeper than ttwd.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  20. Oh Roz, I'm sorry things have taken a vanilla turn for you. Ttwd is tough especially when only one in the relationship truly desires it but hand I'm there and keep working on your marriage and it will always pay off.

    Please don't leave blogland, we would all miss you. You could write a grocery list and we'd all be happy just to read something from you. I hope to see you around.

    xo

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    1. Hi Bonnie, thank you so much for your lovely comment. Well, I'm not sure how exciting a grocery list would be lol, but I am not going to disappear :)

      As I have said above, we both miss ttwd and have talked about the aspects that worked well and what didn't. It seems Rick just didn't feel he was being himself when it came to rules and accountability. We are slowly going to make our way back and try to find the right balance for us.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  21. Please do not go away...DD or whatever.....you are such a big part of 'us'. I would so miss you......I would never have believed that on-line friendships could be so 'real'....However you and Rick figure this out....hang around....please.
    hugs abby

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    1. Hi Abby, thank you so much for your lovely words:) The friendships made here are amazing and go beyond ttwd. The friendships I have made mean so much to me and I am so glad to be able to count you as one of those friends.

      As I have said above, we both miss ttwd and are slowly working our back and trying to find the right balance for us.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  22. We've become good friends and no matter what won't lose that. I hope you and Rick find joy, laughter, love on this new leg of your journey. Hugs

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    1. Hi AB, we have become good friends and you are right... that won't change. I treasure our friendship.

      As I said above, we both miss ttwd and are going to slowly make our way black and work to find the right balance for us. It will be different which is also exciting :)

      Hugs
      Roz

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  23. HI Roz, I too really hope you stay, life is difficult and sometimes it doesn't go the way we would like. I suppose my advice would be to play when you can and try and enjoy life as it is. With lots of love
    Jan,xx

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    1. Hi Jan, thank you so much :) You know, it's funny because we have played but I found I wasn't in the right head space.

      As I said above, we both miss ttwd and have talked about what aspects worked well and those that didn't and are going to work on finding the right balance for us.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  24. Hi Roz, I knew about the computer trouble and was glad to see you in my blogroll again but this post made me a little sad. I know for us it is more me than him to ask for this and in a way can understand or imaging your feeling especially when you say 'he wasn't being himself'. I do think dynamics change and things go up and down and just are shifting constantly. I hope you both find some middle ground that you can be happy in. Please don't delete the blog whatever you do. I wish you both much happiness.

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    1. Hi Natasha, thank you so much:) You are right, dynamics do change and things constantly evolve.

      We both miss ttwd and it really seems Rick didn't feel he was being himself when it came to rules and accountability, but did love a lot of the other aspects. We are going to slowly make our way back and try to find the right balance for both of us.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  25. Roz,
    Aww! This must be so hard for you and Rick.
    I know I owe an email (two actually) and will get them sent off soon.
    Hugs.

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    1. Hi Bleuame, I'm sorry I have missed commenting on your recent posts, I have been reading though:)

      It has been hard adjusting for both of us, but also good as we have talked about what aspects of ttwd worked and those that didn't. We both miss it and are going to slowly make our way back and try and find the right balance for both of us.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  26. I hope you find a reason to stay...post anything you would like...and your friends will be here...I have not posted anything about spanking in forever because I have had nothing to share but I like to think we are all family and we can share anything... :-) I am sorry that it hasn't worked out in the way you hoped and understand the loss of that but life changes and nobody knows what the future holds... Hugs

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  27. ...heard it was your birthday yesterday...happy belated birthday! :-)

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    1. Hi Terps, thank you for the birthday wishes. It was a lovely day:)

      You are right, this is such a wonderful community and our friendships are so much more than ttwd and spanking.

      As I said above, it's been hard but also good. We know we both miss ttwd and have talked and are going to slowly make our way back. It will be different as we have talked about what aspects worked and what didn't.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  28. Happy Belated Birthday, Roz.

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    1. I realized I never responded to this. I really do not want to see you go. I enjoy reading your posts.

      I can't imagine the emotions you are going through. Hugs.

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    2. Hi HS, thank you for the birthday wishes. It was a great day:)

      It has been hard but also good as we have talked and are going to slowly make our way back to ttwd and try and find thr right balance for both of us.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  29. Oh Roz, I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. :( I'd hate to see you guy, but will understand if it's what you need to do. You've been great, and I sincerely hope to stay in touch.

    Sending lots of hugs and happy thoughts your way!

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    1. Thank you so much Kenzie, as I have said above, we miss ttwd and have talked about what aspects worked and what didn't and are going to work on finding the right balance for both of us. So it looks like you're stuck with me :)

      Hugs
      Roz

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  30. Hi Roz, sorry to be so late commenting but alas I have been pre-occupied with other stuff and just not been spending time reading lately.

    As you know, Nina is much of the same mindset as Rick so I relate to your situation. I am sorry to hear that you are stopping but it is the right thing to do. If Nina was feeling the same way as Rick I would also stop. As we both know, the spirit of the spanking is equally if not more important that the actual spanking. I know the want for a spanking will not go away, but life goes on and it is still great even without spankings!

    I will miss reading your blog for sure and I will miss you too my friend. We are a close bunch of strangers who really do care for and love one another.

    Drop by my place anytime and I will always try to have a picture suited to your season!

    much love from a kindred spirit,
    George

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    1. Hi George, gosh, I am so sorry for being so late in replying! Thank you for you lovely words. It seems Rick struggled with rules and accountability but also loved a lot of aspects ... including spanking lol. We both miss what ttwd gave us and are slowing trying to make our way back and find the right balance for us. However, progress is very slow!

      Hugs
      Roz

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  31. Hi Roz. I'm new to blog land. Somewhat discouraged because I haven't had much traffic on my blog but I just started it. I've enjoyed reading yours. My husband struggles with the HOH role also. It doesn't come naturally. He does like the control but he doesn't understand the need for punishments for me to obey him. We have been on again off again with DD too. I know its hard! I've craved the lifestyle for so long and when things are going well I feel so loved and taken care of. If you need to talk feel free to email. Dont leave though... people benefit from seeing that they are not alone.

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    1. Hi Lillyanna, welcome! Thank you for reading and for you lovely comment. I am so sorry it has taken me so long to reply. I'm not normally this slack but am having technology issues at the moment.

      Welcome to blogland too! I need to find your blog:) please don't be too discouraged about the traffic, it does take a little while.

      There does seem to be a real ebb and flow to this lifestyle. Rick isn't naturally dominant and just didn't feel he was being himself when it came to rules and accountability. We are trying to slowly make our way back and find the right balance. It is going very slowly though!

      Hugs
      Roz

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    2. Lillyanna, when I click on your name it takes me to your google+. That makes it difficult to get the traffic. I'm not sure how to change it though. I would enjoy reading your blog. Roz is right, it does take time.

      Roz, I'm so happy to read you two are slowly finding the balance. Also glad to see you all over blogland still, including mine.

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    3. Lillyana, I tried clicking on your name too. It came up with your google+ including a link to your blog, but when I clicked on the link it kept bringing me back to my blogger dashboard! If you would like to email me a link I would love to visit you and say hello. rozinhishands@gmail.com.

      HS, thank you :) still without a computer believe it or not so haven't posted sine this but am reading and commenting on my tablet. As for ttwd ... it's VERY slow!

      Hugs
      Roz

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    4. Lillyanna another suggestion is to comment on more posts ( after you change the glitch with your google plus that doesn't take you to your blog that is). People will find you through your comments.

      I'd love to read your blog if you email me at wilma.barney@gmail.com with your link!

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  32. Hey Roz,

    Sorry to hear your computer is still dead, lol, that sucks, but I wouldn't want to blog on a tablet either, so I understand.

    Going back to vanilla seems to be what started us actually not just play acting the dynamic anymore. DH noticed that he liked some of it too, and noticed that one comes with the other, if he is dominant with me, I am much more likely to act submissively when he finally feels like it. If that makes sense.
    But either way, I am sure time will bring you both to a healthy state as long as you keep communicating.

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    1. Hi Julia, thank you :) Still haven't replaced the computer believe it or not so still working off the tablet. I do miss being on my blog :(

      That's interesting that going back to vanilla helped you find the right balance for you. Rick found he felt as though he wasn't being himself when it came to rules and accountability but loved other aspects of ttwd

      We both miss what it brings us and are slowly trying to make our way back and find the right balance, a lot less rule focussed. So far not much has happened though. There is some dominance and spanking for fun so hopefully things will progress from there.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  33. I know how you feel.. we are half vanilla half ttwd lol. we have found a spot and it works.. I will email us

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    1. Hi Daisy, welcome back! So good to see you, I missed you. I got your email and will reply shortly :)

      Hugs
      Roz

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  34. Hi there Roz, I keep seeing you everywhere I go in blogland, so thought I'd come over and read up here some. :) I hope you will find what you are seeking in all of this, and even though I am new here,I will be here as well, when/if you find that desire to write in this blog again.

    xx
    brat

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    1. Hi Amber, thank you so much for reading and for your comment. I'm so sorry I missed replying earlier. I've found your blog too and enjoy reading :)

      Hugs
      Roz

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  35. Hi Roz. I've been MIA for so long and it looks like I've missed quite a bit going on for you! You know, it would be hard for me to step back and do what you're doing, but you are so wise to not force it either. I think from what I'm learning DD seems to work best when it develops more organically vs. being forced into existence. I don't know if that makes any sense. But I wish the best for you in your relationship with Rick, regardless of whether in the end there is no DD, some DD lite, or heavy DD, or whatever else! You have always encouraged and supported me in my exploration of DD and I'm very thankful for that!

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    1. Hi Rose, thank you so much for your comment. I apologise to you also for not replying earlier, I'm not sure hiw I missed doing so.

      I totally agree, Dd needs to be able to develop slowly over time and can't be forced.

      Hugs
      Roz

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