Punishment and Reinforcing Roles

Following on from my last post, thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement in your comments.  It is never easy waiting for a punishment spanking and this was also the first in quite some time ... because I'm normally such an angel.  Oh, go with me here will you!

It has been a weekend of discipline and reconnection for us.  This also means I have not had much time for reading and commenting on posts so please accept my apologies.  I hope to find some time for a little back reading.

As I said in my previous post.  Friday morning I got up so late and was in such a hurry to get myself organised and out the door for work that I had forgotten to wear my collar (necklace), which is a rule.  It is to be worn at all times except in the shower and in bed.  On top of this, I had also been slipping recently with other rules.

The collar really does mean so much to us.  It is a symbol of us and our roles and his 'ownership' of me.  I treasure it and love wearing it.  It also reminds me of him when we are apart.  I knew he felt strongly about the collar and loves to see me wear it, but I don't know I fully understood just how much it means to him.  Well, let me say, I definitely now understand!

Friday night I spent writing lines and anticipating a punishment spanking the following night.  It had been a long time since I had written lines and it turns out I had forgotten how long they take to do - grrr.  By the time I had done all the necessary things and written the lines, there was very little time for anything else.

Saturday evening it was time to pay the piper.  Rick told me to go to the bedroom, undress, kneel and wait for him ... recently our role affirmation sessions have started this way.

Daddy I don't want to

I know you don't baby

I don't like being naked 

I know, and you know why I do it

Do we have to?  I don't want to

Yes we do.  You know you do.  Come on, off you go and do what I asked

OK, I didn't exactly comply straight away as I should have.  For some reason I always feel the need to put up some form of protest.  Perhaps not the best move, and especially when the looming spanking is punishment.

I finally went to the bedroom, followed his instructions and waited.  He came into the bedroom and remarked that it was the first time in a long while that we had a punishment to administer.  He re-iterated that we were there because I had forgotten the collar, and not consistently keeping to other rules.  He said he realised that I had forgotten my collar because I had slept in and was running so late, caused by getting to bed so late the previous night and that from now on bedtime was going to be a lot earlier.  He also said that the frequency of role affirmation would increase and that each time I am expected to be naked and kneeling waiting for him.  He wants to get to the point where I just go and prepare without him telling me to do so.  Sure thing honey ... like the lamb to the slaughter.

Next he addressed the forgotten collar.  He asked me to tell him why we have it, what does it mean to us etc.  He also asked whether I had genuinely forgotten (which I had) or whether I had just 'decided' I didn't have enough time.  He wanted to know whether perhaps I had left it deliberately in order to see what his reaction would be.  I assured him this was not the case.

Over the bed I went next.  Rick sat next to me with one had on my back and started spanking with his had.  Slowly and gently at first - oh no - a warm up!  He's not exactly big on warm ups so this is going to be bad!  He continued with his hand, increasing force all the time for a while then moved on to the leather paddle.  The blows came hard and fast and the sets were much longer in duration and more intense than usual.  It was hard to take.  He then used the wooden spoon and alternated between the paddle and spoon.

After a while he stopped and told me to kneel again.  I can't exactly remember now what he said but he told me to fetch the lines I had written for him to inspect.  I hesitated and whimpered.  One of the worse parts about the line punishment is having to present them to him.

My hesitation was not a good move!  He picked up the paddle again and asked me if I wanted more hard whacks of the paddle and that if I didn't I had better move.  I might have had trouble properly submitting to the discipline but I'm not that stupid so I fetched the lines.  He took them off me and looked at them then handed them back to me and told me to recite them ... in front of him ... yuck!  It was horrible and I felt somewhat embarrassed for some reason.

I don't know how many times I recited them but he told me to stand up and bent me over the bed again and to my horror told me to continue reciting the line and continued with the spanking. I tell you, it's not easy to do when you're butt is being blistered at the same time!  At one point I stopped reciting and received a couple of hard and fast strokes of the paddle and asked why I had stopped.  I immediately began again.  Eventually he told me I could stop reciting and landed a few more smacks with the paddle and spoon before lifting me up of the bed and drawing me into him and cuddling me.

We cuddled and kissed for a while then he suddenly pulled me back over his leg - what the! ... I thought you'd finished!  I felt him reach over to the dressing table and thought he was reaching for the implements again.  Instead, I felt the welcome cool Arnica lotion on my poor, very sore bottom.  He rubbed in the lotion and continued to rub for a while.  That was a first.  I don't think he has ever applied Arnica after a spanking before and he certainly generally doesn't rub my bottom at all.  Especially if the spanking is for punishment or discipline.

Afterwards we had a wonderful evening together.  We cooked a lovely meal, watched a bit of TV etc.  Rick continued to reinforce our roles through the evening in lots of different ways and we really were feeling our Dominant/submissive roles. Yes, even though he thought my bottom looked sore enough to apply Arnica cream after the punishment, there was some more spanking.  This time, of a different kind, buy equally ouchy.

I am glad the punishment is now over, but am even more glad that he held me accountable for my actions and also brought us back on track and me back to my squiffy place which is where I really want to be.  I'm glad that he loves me enough and that he hates us being off kilter as much as I do.

Now all I have to do is get back on track with following the rules I had been letting slip.  Easy huh?

Don't Forget The Collar

I must always remember to wear Daddy's collar

I must always remember to wear Daddy's collar

I must always remember to wear Daddy's collar

Those are the words I have just finished writing ... over and over and over and over and ... well, you get the idea.  In fact 200 times.  I hate, hate, hate lines.  It is boring and there are so many other things I would much rather be doing.  Did I mention I hate doing lines?

Lately I've felt as though we have been in limbo with our dynamic.  Not much dominance on his part, certainly not much spanking going on.  When this happens it's easy for my submission to lapse.  I start thinking "whatever".  Yep, I said the "W" word.  See what I mean?

I start to lapse on the rules.  Specifically the bedtime one.  No checking blogs, Internet, email etc on my phone in bed when I'm meant to be settling down to sleep instead.

I wish I understood why this happens. I mean, I want this lifestyle right?  I want to submit to Daddy.  I do, but somehow I need his help to maintain my submission. I need his dominance.  Without it I slide into independent mode and who cares about silly rules anyway?  I guess dominance and submission really do feed off each other.  I need his dominance in order to maintain my submissiveness and vice versa.  One thing I have discovered during the time we have been practicing DD is that consistency really is so vital, and not just consistency on his part.  As much as I need him to remain consistent, he also needs me to remain consistent in my efforts.

Anyway.  I have been feeling this limbo for some time now.  It didn't help that last week was a particularly difficult one with a lot of external factors and stresses present.  Last Saturday we had planned to reconnect and in fact, it started off well. Daddy was out Saturday afternoon and I received a text from him telling me that when he returned he wanted me naked and kneeling in the bedroom.  Of course I complied and we had a wonderful role affirmation session.  (I guess he had decided we needed to get back on track).  For the first time I cried more than just a trickle. He lay beside me, held my hand and told me to let it all go and that he had me as he continued to blister my derriere.  Afterwards, we cooked a lovely meal together, watched a little TV and listened to some music.  It was a wonderful time together and we were heading back to to 'us'.  Then, wouldn't you know it.  Life got in the way again and we started to lose the level of connection we had started to build.

This week however has been a good one.  We have felt much more connected.  That leads me to today ... and the lines.

As I said, I have been having some difficulty with my bedtime rule lately plus generally not getting to bed at a reasonable enough hour to allow me to get up in the morning for work.  last night I was waaay too late, plus I might have played on my phone just a little bit when I did go to bed.  As a result I woke up very late this morning and was in such a rush to get ready that I forgot to put on my collar.  I didn't even actually have time to put it on!  It is a rule that I wear the collar at all times, except for showering and bed.

I knew Daddy would be disappointed.  I was not, however prepared for just how disappointed he was  not seeing it around my neck.  He told me I looked naked and to be honest I felt it.  I spent the day reaching for it to hold it between my fingers as I always do and alas, it wasn't there.  He told me how very disappointed he was and that I know how much it means and what it symbolises.  To us it is a symbol of us, of our roles and what we mean to each other and holds a great sentimental value for both of us.  It is something I treasure and that I love wearing.  I finger it during the day and it reminds me of him.  Of his dominance.  This is the first time I have actually forgotten to wear it.

Daddy told me that getting up so late that I did no have time to put it on was not a good enough excuse. It was poor management on my part.  True.  I told him I hadn't realised just how disappointed he would be.  He then said I would be writing lines and that tomorrow night my bottom will feel how disappointed he is.  Also with the general lapse in fully keeping to the rules.

So ... the lines are done and I now contemplate the spanking that is to come.  I am somewhat nervous.  I HATE having to wait. Also, I haven't received a punishment spanking for some time now.

I guess he is determined to bring us out of limbo.  I'm trying to convince myself that's a good thing!

Book Review - Coming to Terms

I was thrilled and honoured to have been given an advanced copy of Coming to Terms and to have been asked by Renee Rose to review the book on my blog.

As I sit down to write this review I am somewhat nervous as I have not written a book review before.  I  am also embarrassed to admit to the lovely authors that I haven't really read much in the way of DD fiction books, other than the stories published on blogs.  Mostly, I am anxious to ensure I do proper justice to the review and give the book the credit it so richly deserves.

Coming to Terms is an anthology.  A collection of seven short stories written by seven very talented authors.  Each story tells of a couple coming to terms with their domestic discipline relationship.

I thought about providing a short synopsis of each story here.  However, the authors have each given us snippets of their story on their blogs.  Also, as they are short stories I didn't want to give too much away :)

Here are the links to their blogs so that you can check them out:
Cara Bristol, Jade Carey, Alta Hensley, Celeste Jones, Sue Lyndon, Renee Rose, Anastasia Vitsky

Instead, I thought I would write about how I found the book as a whole.  How the stories work together and how they speak to me as a woman in a DD relationship.

There were a number of things that stood out for me.  Although each story is about a couple in a DD relationship, they are each unique and very different from each other.  This to me is testament to the fact that (as those of us in this type of relationship know) it is very personal to each couple.  We each make it our own and no two couples practice DD the same way.  As a collection of stories the book truly conveys the individualism of the lifestyle well.

The stories range from couples who have been practicing DD for a number of years to a couple just starting out, both in their relationship and in the lifestyle.

Another thing that stood out for me was how well I was able to relate to the stories on an emotional level.  The stories give us a glimpse of the characters as they work through important issues that are common in DD relationships, including defining DD, bringing DD back in focus when life gets in the way and balancing erotic and disciplinary spanking.

The authors have done an excellent job of conveying the feelings and emotions involved in a DD relationship from the perspective of both partners.  In particular I found the discipline scenes realistic and easy to relate to. The authors convey the depth of feeling associated with discipline from the perspectives of both giving and receiving discipline extremely well.  The feelings of guilt, remorse and forgiveness as well as the intimacy and connection between the couples.

The characters in each story are strong.  I particularly enjoyed the fact that each story portrays strong, independent women who discover just what strength it takes to trust you partner to lead your relationship and to submit to your partner.

Each author has brought their own unique writing style and talent to the table and as a collection of stories it is fun and entertaining to read.  The stories compliment each other beautifully and are, in my opinion, an excellent portrayal of the DD dynamic.

Although Coming to Terms is a anthology of DD related stories and while those of us in DD/ttwd relationships can so easily relate to the characters and their stories, they are written in such as way that the book also holds appeal for a wider audience as well.  Readers, whether in a DD/ttwd relationship or not will enjoy the interaction between the characters as well as the eroticism and , of course, spanking scenes ... Oh did I mention the stories contain erotic scenes? :)

Coming to Terms is available on Amazon now.  If you haven't got your copy yet I highly recommend it.  I thoroughly enjoyed each story on its own and think that they are superb as a collection of stories that compliment each other extremely well.

 http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00CS7XLNQ/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B00CS7XLNQ&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwreneeroser-20

The First 100 Spanks ... er ... Posts

This is my 100th post.  Can you believe it?  Because I can't!

What an incredible journey it has been.  I have shared much here.  When I first started this blog it was a place for me to process my thoughts and feelings and a place to diary this incredible journey Rick and I have undertaken.

I never realised when I started what a truly amazing community I was joining.  That everyone here would come to mean so much to me and that I would bond and form beautiful friendships with some of you.  I never truly realised how supportive and encouraging this place is.  My only regret is that I didn't start blogging earlier.

Rick and I would like to extend our heartfelt thanks to you all for your kindness, support, friendship and for your invaluable advice.  I can't say how much you have helped us as we have navigated this sometimes tricky journey and continue to do so. We couldn't have done it without your support. My greatest hope is that in return I have managed to give a little of the same back in at least some small way.

If I can beg your indulgence I would like to recall some highlights that have occurred over the last 99 posts and 14 months that I have been blogging.  Some of you who have been with us for a while now may recall some of these.

When Rick and I were apart on one occasion and I was really struggling, missing his touch and presence I reached out to my blogland friends.  You were all there offering your support.  I can't tell you how much that meant to me and how much it boosted me and helped me through the time apart.

When, what I still believe to be the defining moment for us occurred.  You know the one we always talk about.  The moment your HoH 'gets it' and really steps up and you receive the spanking of your life.  You were there for us offering your support and advice and sharing your experiences.

Some of you may remember that one.  I had been to visit my parents, having to travel a notoriously dangerous piece of road to do so and returned home fairly late at night.  Rick was also away that night and I knew he expected a text from me to let him know I was home safe.  It was also a rule to boot ... and still is.  Well, I failed to do so and Rick was beside himself with worry that something had happened to me.  He later told me that all sorts of things went through his mind that night, including how he would carry on if something had happened to me.  It actually scared him some to realise how much he couldn't be without me.

When we had a spanking that went wrong and left me confused and questioning you were there again, offering your support and advice.

When we had our 'collaring' ceremony (vanilla collar) we shared it here and received such beautiful comments and congratulations it truly felt as though you were all really here with us as our guests and it made what was a special event for us much more so.

Funnily enough, not all of you were so keen when I noticed a lot of my fellow Dd wives were getting a bit Scrappy and getting themselves into trouble so offered virtual spankings to try and help them get back on track LoL.

I could go on, but I think I will spare you.  Instead I will just say once again

Thank you!! 

 from the bottom of our hearts for reading and for being there for us

Coming next on Roz In His Hands

I am working on my review of Coming to Terms and hope to publish it over the weekend.  Early next week at the latest.  It is now available on Amazon and I highly recommend it.

I am most honoured and humbled to have received nominations for the Sunshine award from three very special ladies - Ami, Quiet Sara and Viola.  This took me by complete surprise and I am deeply touched.  Thank you so much ladies for thinking of me.  I just wanted to let you know I will post shortly.

The NewlyRed Game ... From Rick and Rozzie Land

So Wilma had this mad great idea for a game based on the old American show The Newly Wed Game.  I thought it would be fun and managed to coerce Rick into playing along.

Cue cheesy music

Of course, being DD related we needed to rename this puppy.  Thanks to Susie at 

Her Mischief Managed  

Without further ado here is our version of The NewlyRed Game.  My answers are in pink.  Rick's answers in blue

Questions for Roz

What would your husband say was the last thing you did that made him give you 'the look' ?

Talking negatively about myself

Talking negatively about herself 

What part of his body does your husband discuss the most?
His most intimate part LoL
What every man talks about What did I tell you!

If I could burn one (non implement) possession of my husband's and get off Scott free it would be?
Sometimes I would love to burn his DVDs of old British comedy's.  I love them, but enough is enough LoL
Would never happen Okaay ... message received dear

What shape would your HoH say your backside is? 1) an apple 2) a pear 3) a pancake 4) never noticed ... too distracted
He definitely notices!  I don't think he would pick one of he options, but if he had to, I think it would be apple
An apple

Nothing makes me sassier than
Being told no.  Hey, at least I'm honest!
A few glasses of alcohol  Excuse me .. don't you mean a few glasses of submission?

 If my family knew we were in a Dd relationship they would:
A) Be mortified
B) Be intrigued and ask questions
C) High five my HoH an tell him/her it was about time
Definitely A
Be mortified

When my husband does ....  I wish I could spank my mother in law
Perhaps being too trusting and willing to give people too many changes (yes, including me some times).  I never had the privilege of meeting my MIL but the woman deserves a medal for raising 6 boys .... and a husband :)  From everything I have heard about her, she was a wonderful, loving mother with a generous heart and taught her boys positive belief and value systems.
Snore Yes, I definitely agree!  However, I'm not sure I can blame my MIL for that one

When making whoopee, my husband's theme song should be:
A) I will survive
B) Dancing with myself
C) Wake Me Up Before You Go Go
D) Shook Me All Night Long
D .. and that's all I'm sayin :)
Would have to be D Isn't is great that we agree on this one? :)

If  ... was an olympic sport, my husband would take the gold
General knowledge quizzes 
Naming American Presidents and their terms Yes of course!  Kind of fits in with my answer 

Two words that describe my husband are:   
Caring and Compassionate
Caring and considerate

Questions for Rick

What should you wife's theme song be?
Amazed  Awe so sweet.  Our song

I honestly don't know what he would say

Finish this sentence:  Even before ttwd I wanted to spank my wife when she did
Run herself down  Seeing a theme here?

Talk negatively about myself

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought a ....  would be something I'd spank with
Cats toy  OK. I think this one needs and explanation.  It's a short plastic pole that used to be part of a cats toy.  It's much like the dreaded tilt wand

Sandal

My wife is so adorable when she 
Snuggles up to me and buries her head in my chest  Must remember that one!
Has just been spanked

If my wife never makes ....  again for dinner, it would be too soon
Can't think of anything
He does a lot of the cooking so I can't think of anything

Pick a bird to represent your wife.   What type of bird do you see yourself as?
She is a cute little sparrow and I am an eagle protecting her
Sparrow for me ...  small and cute :) 
For him?  hmm, I know, a Eagle watching over me

When I give my wife the 'look' often I am thinking
I wanna spank that cute sexy ass  Hmm, thought he'd say that.  How sweet *insert sarcasm here*
I want to spank that adorable sassy ass

The two words that sum up my wife are .... and ...
Beautiful and amazing  Now that IS sweet.  Thank you honey :)
I guess one would have to be Scrappy since he gave me the nick name.  I think he might say caring

If there was NO chance of getting caught, where is one place you would like to make whoopee?
In a grassy field during summer under the stars Glad we agreed on this one too :)
Somewhere outside under the stars at night.  During summer of course!

Aside from her bottom, what is you wife's greatest asset?
Herself  Why didn't I think of that :)
That's a tough one.  I really don't know.  Boobs?  Hair?  

And that concludes this edition of The NewlyRead Game.  Feel free to copy the questions and play.

Coming to Terms - Pending Review

I am thrilled and honoured to have been given a copy of Coming to Terms and to have been asked to publish a review on my blog by Renee Rose.

In case you didn't know (where have you been??)  Coming to Terms is a domestic discipline anthology.  A series of short stories by the following seven best selling authors who we know and love:

Cara Bristol

Jade Carey

Alta Hensley

Celeste Jones

Sue Lyndon

Renee Rose

Anastasia Vitsky

Celeste's story even mentions some of our blogland friends, including Minelle of My Breath and Christina of Red Booty Woman!

The release date is 15 May and having started reading I can say pencil in the date because you won't want to miss this!

I hope you will forgive me if I am awol from reading and commenting on blogs for a wee while as I have some reading to do  :)

I will be posting my review shortly.

By the way - I stole the picture from Minelle ... who stole it from Christina ... so spank me :)

Have I Ever?

OK, I couldn't resist trying this one as well.  Here goes!

Have you ever:
Shot a gun? Yes
Watched someone die? No
Served on a jury? Yes
Flown on a plane? Yes
Swam in the ocean? Yes
Cried yourself to sleep? Yes
Been camping in a trailer/RV? No
Rode on an elephant? Yes
Rode on a camel? No
Been lost? Yes
Eaten just cookies or cake for dinner? Yes
Been on TV? No
Been on radio? No
Been in a car accident? Yes
Donated blood? No
Got a speeding ticket within the last 12 mos.? No
Gotten a piercing (not ears)? No
Gotten a tattoo? No 
Flew in a hot air balloon? No
Flew in a helicopter? Yes
Gone parasailing? No
Been on a jetski, snowmobile or dune buggy? No

10 Yes / 12 No