Sunday, 10 February 2013

Text Rules

So Grace had a post the other day about fun text and email exchanges between she and Michael.  Rick and I text quite a lot every day and I love exchanging those fun, loving and 'saucy' messages.  Especially in the middle of the work day.

Unfortunately, there is a flip side to this.  Rick is very adept at the 'text lecture' - sigh.  Personally, I much prefer to receive the loving or saucy text messages from him but every once in a while it goes the other way, and that's what happened the other day.

Rick was away and as I think I've said on here before, when we are apart we have strict text rules.  I have set times I am to check in with him.  I was busy running around juggling a few things at once that night (including replying to comments on here and reading some other blogs - oops!) and a text deadline passed.  I had forgotten to text, pure and simple.

Uh-oh, oh no, this is not going to go down well!  Especially since I had just been so busy with different things that I forgot.  What do I do?  Well, obviously this was not a case of having to come clean.  The deed was done and he already knew it.  The choice, however, was how I explained my failure to text on time.   Hmm, what to do - if I tell him the truth, he may ground me from the blogs for a while, given that was part of the distraction.  What will he do?  Will he do anything?  I could tell him an important call came though, neighbour needed help, the cat got sick or something.

I couldn't.  I knew I had to tell him the truth and face whatever the consequences may be.  I simply  can not lie to Rick.  He deserves my complete honesty.  I knew I couldn't handle the guilt either if I tried to lie my way out of it.  I felt terrible.  How could I have literally forgotten?  Not to mention of course that lying is a huge no no in a Dd relationship.

The other thing is that Rick has had continual problems off and on with receiving text messages so we are fairly vigilant to make sure we check whether messages are being received or not.  I also knew he would be wondering whether the phone was playing up again.

Forgetting to send a text may seem minor, or trivial on the surface, but this rule is his way of protecting me when he can't be with me.  His way of making sure I am safe and it is important to him.  Therefore, it is important to me.

I sent the text, apologising for missing the deadline and explaining that I had juggled too many things and had just not managed my time properly and forgotten. I even said that I had spent time on the computer replying to comments and reading posts.  Ok, maybe I didn't have to go quite that far with my honestly.

I then waiting with baited breath for a reply.  The following is the reply I received.

Hey sweetheart, was beginning to think maybe the phone was playing up when your text didn't come though within timeframe.  Not happy with you being late.  We will talk about this (meaning, of course "we will spank about this").  I am going to head to bed.  You may stay up but no later than 1am.  Don't disappoint me on that as well. 

The text did also include some loving words and a goodnight.

Um, oh boy - yes Sir!  Let me tell you, these text lectures have just about the same kind of effect on me as face to face lectures.

I scurried around to finish what I needed to and made sure I made the bedtime deadline.  There was no way I was going to add to breaking the text rule.  More importantly though, I really didn't want to disappoint my husband any further.

We did 'talk' about it later by the way.  Oh - you want details?  Haven't you people got better things to do? LoL

Yep, I much prefer the fun, loving and saucy messages!

44 comments:

  1. " Don't disappoint me on that as well. " Holy smokes. Ouch.

    I think I'd have a hard time sleeping after reading those words. Well congrats on your total honesty. The way you wrote it here seems like you didn't even struggle with whether or not to come clean. That is truly amazing, because 'honesty may be the best policy, but in ttwd, not always the easiest one to adopt due to the consequences. Good on you.

    Love ya!
    Willie
    PS. Thanks Rick for not grounding her from us!

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    1. Hey Willie, I'm a little early, not quite bedtime yet :)

      Yeah, it was ouch, and difficult to settle that night. Those text lectures really can be as bad as the face to face ones!

      Thank you for your lovely words. I just can't lie at all, and as you say, it definitely isn't easy knowing the consequences. However, in the end, it really is for the best and makes us strong. If I withheld something, it wouldn't be easy to live with and I would spiral.

      Love and Hugs,
      Roz

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  2. Ah, so he uses "talk" as a super secret code word for "spank" too;)

    Good for you for taking the honest route Roz...you KNOW you wouldn't have been able to sleep peacefully with that on your conscience!

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    1. I'm not sure talk is such a super secret code word if they all use it. I guess nobody would know, but I know every time I hear someone say talk I wonder if they mean talk or "talk."

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    2. Hi Tess, you know, sometimes I'm more and more convinced there is an HoH manual out there - must ask Bas about that! "talk" does seem to be fairly universal LoL. I wonder when I hear it too TL LoL

      Thank you Tess, I wouldn't have slept peacefully had I not told him. Mind you, his text lecture affected my sleep that night too LoL

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  3. Roz I think this is lovely. We are more of the 'quick phone call' generation ourselves, but I love to get these checking-up on you calls. We don't have set times, but I know it makes me feel good to get a call around bed time (sorry, I'm an early bird to bed) and to be able to have a quick chat about our day. S isn't away much any more, but he used to be away a great deal. I did try a 'sext' about a week ago and it fell flat on its face because S simply texted back enquiring if I was okay or had flipped out. You are very well cared for Roz!

    Hugs, Ami

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    1. Hi Ami, I do like this rule. I love that it's there so that he can check on me when he is away and make sure I am safe. It makes me feel protected and cared for. The only trouble is that I do have set times, so sometimes time just gets away on me.

      LoL re the 'sext'. Better luck next time?

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  4. Yikes. I don't think I would be a fan of the text lecture. Actually I was just telling Bucko the other day that I hate the term lecture in general. I'm glad you made it to bed on time and things are good between you. He sounds like a great guy.

    Hugs,
    TL

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    1. Hi TL, yeah, the text lecture really can be as bad as face to face, and believe me, Rick is masterful at both! Hmm, not sure if I really like the term either, but not sure what else to call it.

      All is well in Rick and Roz land. He is great TL, I think I'll keep him :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  5. I think that's terrific that he wants to make sure all is well with you even when he's gone. Saucy and fun would definitely be better than a lecture or a warning about an upcoming "talk".

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    1. Hi Sunny, thank you. I do like this rule, it makes me feel protected and cared for. Just time occasionally gets away on me with the set times.

      Fun text definitely are SO much better. Text lectures are must as bad as face to face!

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  6. Wow, I don't have a cell phone, and always want one, but now am all the sudden very happy being cell phone free! My husband has one, and the thought of a lecture text isn't sitting well at all. You poor thing. I have no doubt it's as effective as a face to face one. Though it is great you got to bed on time to show him you were deliberately setting out to break rules. ;) I also love that the text times are to keep you safe. He's right, if no one is there to check in on you, then if something happened, if you're not texting, no one would know. Sounds like a great system. :)

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    1. Hi Es May, LoL, I wouldn't be put off a cell phone. The fun text far out number the serious ones. I tell you, it really is just as bad as the face to face, except it's difficult for him to ask as many questions via text LoL.

      I do like this rule, knowing it's about him protecting me. It does make me feel protected and cared for. Having set times, the time just occasionally gets away on me and I have to do my best to make sure that doesn't happen.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  7. Oh Roz I know just how you feel. I just cannot lie to him if I mess up even with the consequences. It would undermine everything we are trying to do together. Good for you for fessing up.

    The text rule would be hard for me to get used to but I can see how it would be comforting for both of you.

    Hope your 'talk' wasn't too bad. Happy Weekend!

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    1. Hi Zoe, thank you. That complete honesty is so important isn't it? I even quite often tell him things I even 'think' of doing/saying, even though I don't ending up doing/saying them LoL.

      The set times can be a bit tricky. It can be easy for time to get away on me, but I have to do my best to make sure it doesn't. I do like it though. It makes me feel protected and cared for.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  8. Hey Roz...Congratulations on being honest with him. I'm with Sunny...it's wonderful that he wants to make sure you are doing well even with him gone.

    Wow...even though he's not my HoH, never even met him, his text had me ducking my head and muttering 'yes sir'. Yup, there is talking and there is 'talking'...seems that code word comes with the secret HoH manual.

    Nope...not me...don't need any details of the 'talk'...just hope it wasn't too ouchie. Now if you want to give details of the the 'fun, loving and saucy messages'...:D

    Blessings,
    Cat

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    1. Hi Cat, LoL - I think he liked your comment :) He really is masterful a the lecture. Text is almost as bad as face to face. The get my immediate attention that's for sure!

      Thank you. I really couldn't live very well with not telling him. I would spiral and things would get worse. It really is best, despite the consequences. We get closure and grow.

      I thought everyone was usually all about 'details' around here LoL. Hmm, don't think I'll share the fun stuff LoL

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  9. I can lie to "A" either. Sometimes, I think I actually tell too much.
    I get those "checking on you" texts as well though not on a schedule. When I get one however, I am expected to reply as soon as is reasonably possible. Not doing so would be considered disrespectful.
    Don't you just love those "talks"? :/
    Catrinka

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    1. Hi Catrinka, honesty really is the best policy isn't it? I know I don't do well if I don't tell him and things end up worse. I even end up quite often telling him things I even think of doing/saying, even though I don't end up doing it LoL

      Yes, as well as having text "times", I'm also expected to reply to any text quickly. I do like the checking in though. It makes me feel protected and cared for.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  10. Roz, in the lng run, you'll be very glad you've set a bar for total honesty...really you will! Have you considered setting an alarm on your phone...a reminder about the time? That would make it easier. I live by them!

    Sara

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    1. Hi Sara, thank you. I know it is always best to be honest. That way we get closure, grow and move on. Also, I don't do well if I don't tell him and then I spiral and things get worse. Of course, he expects it also.

      It's not normally a problem, time just occasionally gets away on me. This rule used to be stricter and I had to text more often that I do now so I have used an alarm on occasions.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  11. Replies
    1. Thank you! We did, despite this hiccup :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  12. I can't lie either... I love texting, but haven't gotten a text 'lecture' .... Yet, lol :)

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    1. Hi Elle, Oh, I'm sure it will come at some stage. I think it's in the HoH manual LoL

      I love the texting too. The fun, saucy ones by far out number the lectures!

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  13. Ack Roz. I will soon have my first fun phone...and with that comes texting. MM is extremely HoH'y on the phone.

    Oh dear.

    I'm sorry about your "talk" (code word indeed, bah) but really glad that you took the road of total honesty!

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    1. Oh boy Susie, better watch out for new phone/text rules! I hate to tell you, but these cell phones do seem to be a handy HoH tool. Rick uses it to lecture and to issue instructions. Having said that though, the fun texts do out number the HoH'y ones LoL

      "talk" does seem to be universal. I'm convinced there's an HoH manual out there!

      Than you. At the end of the day, complete honesty really is best for us isn't it? I know Rick also expects it.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  14. Hi Roz,

    We have similar text rules over here and a few have been missed specifically because of blogging which have also resulted in the talk. Text lectures are the worst, its hard to gage how bad it really is when you can't see them face to face. Hope it wasn't too bad.

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    1. I'm glad I am in good company with this rule. It can be tricky at times can't it? time just slips away on you sometimes. Oh yes, much worse if it's because of blogging. That doesn't go down well at all! There is always the prospect of loosing blogging privileges for a while.

      I agree, it is sometimes hard to guage how bad it is via text. I usually know from the tone but he usually doesn't specifically say I am in trouble. Just that it's a problem and we will 'talk'. Also, with the time between the text and being able to 'deal' with the situation, the feelings about it sometimes change.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  15. When Master and I are apart, we have 'keep in touch' rules, they help me to not be 'too ruffled' (Master's words), when I reply.
    It is reassuring to know they want to keep the connection strong.
    hugs abby

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    1. Hi Abby, I do like having these rules, it does help us stay connected and remind us of our roles when we are apart. It also makes me feel protected and cared for.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  16. That's just as bad as a lecture in person. I would have been so deflated. I hate when I make those type of errors and I don't have a good reason. Hopefully, he will be so happy to see you that the talk isn't bad.

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    1. Hi Blondie, thank you for dropping by. Yeah, the text lecture is just about as bad as face to face. Believe me, he is masterful at both!

      It leaves me feeling deflated and disappointed too. Mostly disappointed in myself. That I have disappointed him. As you say, much worse when it is avoidable as this was really.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  17. Hi Roz
    Well done for being so honest. It is so easy to not to tell the whole truth in order to save our backsides, but to own up is the only way to make it work :)
    Very proud of you x
    Hope the "talk" wasn't too bad :)

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    1. Hi Missy, thank you so much :)

      Total honesty really is best, despite the consequences. I know If I don't tell him, I end up spiriling and things get much worse. You're right. It is the only way to make ttwd work. He also expects it.

      There are so many things we could get away with simply by not telling our husband if we wanted to because they are not with us 24/7.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  18. Good for you for letting him know what had happened. Text lectures are for sure tough, I get plenty of those! It's hard when they're away, isn't it? Because then you have to wait. But, I think it's really sweet he likes to look after and protect you like that.

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    1. Hi Riley, thank you! Those lectures are almost as bad as the face to face. Thankfully though, the fun texts out number the lectures.

      It is hard when they're away. Waiting is so hard, and feelings can change in the interim also (which isn't always a bad thing mind you :)

      This rule does make me feel protected and cared for though and helps us feel connected when we are apart.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  19. saucy and fun texts do sound more enjoyable (though I don't know how to text...don't laugh...maybe I will learn someday)
    :-) I do think the fact that he wants to know your safe shows how much he loves you and cares about you. I can never lie to my husband either - honest to a fault... :-) Hugs, Terps

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    1. Hi Terps, maybe you should be glad you don't know how to text - no laughing here.

      Fortunately, the fun texts do out number the lectures. This rule does make me feel protected and cared for and also helps us stay connected when apart.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  20. what is it with bedtime rules and phone rules with these HOH's anyone would think we had nothing better to do (just kidding of course)
    Sir had now taking to texting me at 10.15 to get me to ring him so that i am in bed as close to my 10.30 deadline as possible. Hummmf!! (but i do love it really)

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    1. Hi Kiwi,

      sigh - I know what you mean. These rules can be a drag can't they? LoL. Just kidding. The texting rules do make me feel protected and cared for, knowing that they are there so that he knows I am safe and OK when he's not here.

      Oh boy, bedtime reminder text now! When he's here I get told to go to bed of course, and when he's away I either get a text telling me to get ready and into bed and text him from there to say goodnight or one saying goodnight and telling me to get organised and into bed.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  21. Little late getting over here....I would rather have fun text messages, too! I liked the ending part about wanting to know and don't we have better things to do! You guys be good:)

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  22. Hi SNP, never late. I appreciate you dropping by and always enjoy hearing from you. I definitely prefer the fun text messages. Fortunately, they do far out number the lectures!

    LoL - now what fun is there in being good? :)

    Hugs,
    Roz

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