Monday, 17 September 2012

Return From Exile

If you saw the previous post from my big meanie darling husband you will know I was grounded from blogland for the past week.  I have missed my bloggy friends and reading your posts and comments and am soo glad to be back.

Sorry, this is a bit of a long post.  You might want to grab a coffee, or something stronger:) pull up a pew and settle in.

Things had been going well, I had managed to not get spanked for about 5 weeks (can you believe it, cos I can't!).  In fact, the only punishment I received during this time was having to write sillyannoying lines once.

... and then ...

As the saying goes, all good things must come to an end.  The damn burst, suddenly I went from obeying all rules, having the right attitude and being respectful to breaking the same rule three times in just about as many days.

I failed to go to bed when instructed to do so by my husband.  When he is away overnight, if I haven't already informed him I am going to bed and said goodnight he will eventually instruct me to go to bed.  Of course, when he is home this is never a problem, I diligently head off (ok, occasionally stalk off) to bed when asked.  However, when he is away it is just too easy to think to myself I'll just do this, that or the next thing then go to bed, and before you know it, an hour or more has passed.

As as bit of background, I am a complete night owl.  I come alive at night and left to my own devices won't make it to bed until the wee small hours.  This of course means I am exhausted and grumpy the next day, which is not a good thing when having to get up early and carry out a full time job.

This is why my husband instructs me when to go to bed.  I also have a great deal of difficulty either getting to sleep or staying asleep most nights.  I think my husband struggles with this, he doesn't want to send me to bed only for me to toss and turn all night.  This whole sleep thing is just a bad pattern for me.  It's an issue that has raised its ugly head several times previously and resulted in several consequences.

Anyway, back to the story ... things had been going well until I failed to follow my husband's instructions three times in about as many days.  Also, I had recently become a little too engrossed in blogland and a large contributing factor to this failure to obey my husband was that I was 'busy' on my computer, um, blogging.

Well, I received a spanking for this (no big surprise there).  End of story - right?


The very next night (being a work night) I didn't go to bed until close to 2am.  What was I thinking?  I had just been spanked for this!  To pinch a phrase from Susie ... what a noodlehead!  Needless to say my husband was much less than impressed, especially given I had just been spanked for the same offence.

As a consequence I was grounded from blogland and also had a strict bedtime imposed every night.  Oh yeah, I also received an extremely thorough spanking.  In fact, it was the most serious spanking I have received so far.  My husband told me he had decided the grounding needed to be reinforced with a spanking.  The grounding had taken care of the blogging side of the issue but a spanking was warranted for staying up until 2am the very next night after a spanking for the same thing.  Also due to it being a repeat offence.

Boy, did he make it count! He told me it was going to be a serious spanking and that he didn't want to have to spank me again for this issue.  Afterwards while he was comforting me, he said the spanking had been really hard for him to do and that he had to steel himself to carry it out, but that he knew it was the right thing in the circumstances.  Awe, Schuks.  I really sympathise with you hon.  Really, I do.

I know I have claimed previous spankings to be the worst I have had.  Hmm, I wonder how many times I might same the same thing in future posts.  Yikes, I don't really want to think about that - ouch!

For some reason, once I had recovered from the spanking, later that night I started to get a little feisty with him and I have no idea why.  Perhaps this was my way of releasing the feelings of relief that the whole issue had now been dealt with.  Again, NOODLEHEAD!!  he told me I was heading in the right direction for another spanking but thankfully this didn't happen.

Yep, it was a hard week.  I tried hard to accept and submit to my husband's decision regarding the ban and bedtime with grace and the correct attitude.  The first couple of days I was in a bit of a sulk but this soon lifted.  The first night going to bed was awful.  I was feeling very sorry for myself.

Resisting the temptation to go on the computer and enter blogland was also hard.  I receive notifications on my phone whenever comments are posted on my blog and I was not allowed to read the comments, or even look to see who they were from.  It was soo tempting to take a peek, but I am so glad that I didn't.  After all, I agreed to this lifestyle and to accept consequences as my husband see fits.  Also, we want consistency from our husbands don't we?  Not to mention that I totally trust him, and respect his authority.

I admit, this has been good for me.  I did, naturally, feel the benefits of the extra sleep.  It was also good to find other things to do with my evenings.  Hmm, what should I do now?  some washing?  dishes?  paint my nails?  Nah, I know, I'll dye my hair, maybe bright purple - he'll love that!

This is also new ground for us.  This is the first time multiple and sustained consequences have been imposed and the first time I have had privileges removed or had a specific bedtime imposed.  My man is definitely growing in, and embracing his role more and more.  Dang :)

During this time I have felt even closer to my husband (if that is even possible).  I have felt extremely vulnerable and have constantly wanted to feel his comforting arms around me and hold on tight to him.  My emotions have been right there just waiting to spill over at any moment.  I found every submissive bone in my body.  I think this is because my husband, in taking charge and taking the action he did, made me feel loved and cared for and that I matter to him.  I tend to feel this way every time I am disciplined.

It has been a hard week for both of us, and intense given the number of 'firsts', but also a good one for our relationship.  The whole process has made us even closer.  But, I will be VERY mindful and careful now about my blogging and getting enough rest.  I know my husband is watching me closely.


  1. Glad you are back from blogger banishment, Roz. We missed you....and he loves you. I read his post, but I was too shy to answer, he sounded firm and I am afraid of other HoH's.

    1. Awe, thank you so much Lillie, you always make me smile:) I am really glad to be back.

      Lol, I know what you mean about other HoH's. He was firm on this, but it was an ongoing issue and repeat offence:(

      He's not so scary - a big softie really ... but don't tell him I said that! :)

  2. Hi Roz! I can so relate! I'm just back from a week long grounding from blogland. It was pretty hard for the first few days! I know the feeling of having your husband watching closely too. My husband is going to be super sensitive to me and blogging for a while to see if I'm falling back into old habits. It's a lot of pressure, isn't it?? I wish you much luck, I hope neither one of us gets grounded from blogland again!

    1. Hi CG, welcome back to blogland:) Imagine us both being grounded at the same time! We should start a club Lol I think your post was the last one I saw before my grounding. I told my husband I was in good company and he said he thought the two of us could be trouble together:)

      I read your (post grounding) post and will leave a comment. So sorry the week was rough for you. It was for me too - I'm with you sista!

      I do feel the pressure to make sure I don't become too obsessed again (or have too many late nights - yikes!). Yeah, lets hope it doesn't happen to either one of us again!

  3. Hi Roz~ I discovered your blog while you were....away ;) I am glad that you are back....I have really enjoyed reading some of your older posts! I hear this blogging thing can be pretty addictive, hopefully I will manage to stay out of trouble :) I will agree with Lillie, he sounds like a toughie...but they are usually the best.

    1. Hi Lucy,

      Thank you for reading and for your comment, glad you enjoyed the posts:)

      Yeah, blogging can sure be addictive, take it form me! Good luck with staying out of trouble. I hope I can from now on:)

  4. I grabbed coffee. Really, I did!

    A couple things.

    Really glad you are back and it was nice that your hubby wrote and let us know where you were. That was sweet.

    Yes, you are a noodlehead! Welcome to the club. :)
    It's funny but when my hubby is here, we happily go to bed together and fairly early at that. When he is out of town I become a night owl and just like you, he has to tell me to go to bed.

    Sometimes, just a little while after a spanking (like minutes or hours) I get a bit feisty. I've always wondered why. M thinks it's that I feel safe and loved but also need to make sure that I'm "me" and therefore push him just a little bit. Maybe?

    Finally, I'm really proud of you for the way you handled the week. Not testing, not acting out and following what he laid out. I can't think of anything that goes further in encouraging our husbands to lead well. Good for both of you!

    1. Hi Susie, I can tell you had coffee when you wrote this. I hope it didn't take more than one cup to read the post Lol.

      Thank you so much for your comment, and for your comment on my husband's post, I know he really appreciated that:)

      I really do appreciate your comments, you are always so supportive and provide a lot of encouragement. It lets me know that yes I can do this when it's hard going, and that we will grow, and continue to grow in this lifestyle. Thanks for being proud of me too - that really made me smile:)

      Funny about getting feisty after a spanking eh? I've been trying to work out why I sometimes do this. I think maybe MM is onto something - He's a smart one :)