Bear Hugs and Prayers for Emily

Continuing to send positive thoughts, healing energy and prayers to Jim, Christina, Emily and family.

Much love to you all.

If you haven't done so already and wish to join us in sending a Bear Hug for Emily, grab a pic, thanks to Patty Devlin and post it and send out your well wishes for little Emily and the family.

Prayers for Emily

Love, thoughts and prayers are with Jim and Christina of Red Booty Woman and little Emily at this time.

Wherever you are in the world,  at 9pm your time please join in spending five minutes to send prayers, positive thoughts and healing energy to Jim, Christina, Emily and family.

Thank you to Rogue of Rogue's Awakening for keeping us informed.

His New Acquisition ... and Other News

Rick has a new acquisition.  Yep, it came as a surprise to me.  I had no idea.  What is this new acquisition you ask?

One of these?

Nope (in his dreams  .. and mine for that matter)

Perhaps one of these

Nope

Maybe some of these (it's a guy thing right?)

We were having lunch together the other day having a nice conversation, a bit of snuggling and generally enjoying each others company.   Out of the blue he lifted his shirt slightly to reveal the top of his jeans and I was presented with a fearsome sight.

This

Yep, a brand new belt.  Thick and wide. New leather ... eek!  Help!

He looked pretty pleased with himself and with a smile said "Imagine what that's going to be like around you butt" ... humph

Can't say I'm overly anxious to find out.  I guess I'll just have to behave ... sigh!

Well, I guess at least he didn't make his own wooden paddle! huh Lucy?  (I kinda 'stole' this idea from you and hope you don't mind :)

BTW, does new leather really hurt more than old leather?

And in other news ....

I narrowly escaped doing lines a couple of nights ago (so much for my comment above behaving above!).

Once again I procrastinated about going to bed the night before and didn't go when told.  Why do I seem to have such a problem with this?

The following morning he told me I would be doing lines that night and would have a set, earlier bedtime.  He later decided to give me grace and told me I no longer had to do the lines.  Phew!  Have I ever mentioned before that I HATE doing lines?

I know my bottom may yet regret my actions, but for now I'll just be grateful that I didn't have to do lines.

.......

Today is the winter solstice and boy do we know it!  The whole country is gripped in a pretty ferocious storm right now.  Last night we experienced gale fore damaging winds and torrential rain which caused all kinds of chaos, including of course traffic and public transport.  Our power was also out for a great deal of the night. Thankfully it has now been restored and we were not as badly affected as some parts of the country.  Today has been a lot calmer but wet and cold.

Please forgive me if I haven't yet visited you.  I am going to try and do a little catch up but don't think I will be able to catch up with everyone.  I think I will concentrate on the most recent posts and try to keep up to date with everyone from there.

Congratulations Sunny Girl

Sunny has been treating us to her wonderful talent as a writer on her blog Aimless Ramblings and has recently become a published author.  Check it out!!

http://www.lsfpublications.com/index.php?id=114

Congratulations Sunny!  We look forward to your future stories :)

Here's to you!

The Yin and the Yang

I had a very interesting conversation with Rick some time back now about common feelings and concerns experienced by TiH's and was curious to hear the HoH perspective.  Whether our HoH's have the same feelings and concerns.  During this conversation I discovered that these concerns are mirrored by him, but from a different angle, from his perspective as HoH. Kind of like the yin and yang of DD.

Rick and I by no means consider ourselves to be experts and I certainly don't feel 'qualified' to give advice.  Nor do I wish to come across as either condescending or pretentious.  However, I found this conversation so interesting that I thought I would share.

We all know that as a TiH we make ourselves extremely vulnerable.  Many of us talk of 'needing' our HoH and of sometimes feeling as though we are placing a burden on him with this 'neediness'.

Rick has told me time and time again that I am never a burden.  It is his job to take care of me, he relishes taking care of me and that it makes him feel masculine.  But does he feel it too?  Does he feel 'needy' of me and a certain vulnerability?

Well, the answer is most definitely yes.  Caring for me and loving me has now become a need in him.  It fuels his feelings of masculinity and the increased intimacy and connection make him feel more protective toward me.  These feelings were present before, but they are so much more heightened now.  As much as I at times feel needy of him it turns out he too needs me.  Perhaps this goes someway to explaining the greater level of protectiveness many of us experience from our HoH's.

Another common thought many of us have is wondering whether it will all become too much for him.  Surely he will get to the point where he desires a woman who isn't so 'needy' and who doesn't need/want her husband to lead her and be the decision maker.  I discussed this with Rick too and his response was that on the flip side he is thinking along the following lines:

She is a grown, strong, independent woman
Am I being too hard on her.  Too restrictive.  Too much of a tyrant. 
Will she suddenly decide she wants 'freedom' and to find a man who doesn't desire that level of control and to be the decision maker.

For those who have brought ttwd to their husband and are fairly new to the dynamic, inconsistency can be an issue.  Many TiH's struggle with the fact that their husband doesn't seem to be stepping up to his end of the bargain and that he is being inconsistent.  We wonder why he just isn't 'getting it' and why he isn't stepping up.

While we are struggling with our own thoughts/feelings and coming to terms with our submissive role, he is doing exactly the same thing.  His thought process is a little like this:

How can I possibly spank her?
What gives me the right to make decisions for her?
How can she possibly want this?  And perhaps most importantly
What will her reaction be if I do try to spank her.  She says she wants this but I don't know.  What if she cries assault

I think it mostly comes down to trust.  He needs to trust that she really does want this lifestyle.  Even though she says she does, he needs to trust that.  She also needs to trust him to find his way and to start leading his way.  Remember that in this situation the TiH has been researching this lifestyle for some time and has some idea of what she wants and how she envisages it will work for them as a couple.  He, on the other hand has only recently found out about it and needs time to research and process his own thoughts/feelings.

The best thing a new TiH can do is reassure her HoH that this is truly what she wants and that she is committed to the lifestyle and encourage him, especially when he does step up.  He needs this as much as we do and especially when new to ttwd.

Sunshine Award ... and other snippets

Oh my gosh, I am so late with this post!  My apologies to the lovely ladies who nominated me for this award.  Before I get into the award, I thought I would share a couple of snippets with you.

Things have been going fairly well here since my last post.  We have been feeling connected and I have managed to keep to the no electronics in bed rule (which for me is no easy feat!).  Of course, I certainly haven't forgotten to wear my collar since either!

It's Queen's Birthday weekend here which means a 3 day weekend.  Hooray!  So far the weekend has been fairly quiet and it has been so nice to just slowly potter around home, sleep in etc.

Given that we are in autumn and rapidly heading into winter the weather is not co-operating.  It's pretty dreary with gale force winds at the moment and generally cooling down.  We had some very icy cold spells last week.  Well, for us anyway. Nothing compared to what our friends in the northern hemisphere encounter!

Today, being another dreary day, Rick and I headed out to a mall that I love.  It is choker full of all my favourite clothing stores.  We had afternoon tea at a cafe in the mall where we devoured yummy chocolate mud cake and raspberry cheesecake. Yeah, I know.  Pretty bad huh?  But I don't care LoL.  Afterwards it appeared that my very subtle 'hints' during the drive and afternoon tea had worked and I was allowed to buy some more clothes - yippee!! I did need to get some more warm tops that I can wear to work.  I also came away with a really cute skirt.

Now onto the important part of this post ...

I am honoured to have been nominated for this award by Ami of Ami's Star Song, Sara of Quiet Sara and the StrongMan  and Viola of Purple Explosion.  Thank you so much ladies for thinking of me.  I am truly touched.  You have all encouraged me, given me such amazing support and advice as well as much to think about with your wonderful, thoughtful comments and posts.  I have really enjoyed our email 'chats' and getting to know you.

Ami - I enjoyed working with you on our companion posts and would love to do it again some time.

The idea is for bloggers to present the sun-loving flower to other bloggers who "creatively and positively inspire others in the blogosphere".

If you want to join in the fun the rules for the SUNSHINE AWARD are to:

1. Thank the person who gave you the award in your blog post
2. Complete the Q&A below in your blog post
3. Pass on the award to 10-12 deserving and inspiring bloggers, inform them and link to their blogs

Favourite colour:  I love pinks, purples and blues

Favourite Animal:  I love all big cats .. and the little ones too :)  They are so majestic.  I also love wolves.  That may have something to do with the fact I used to have Siberian Husky dogs.

Favourite Number: 7

Favourite Non-alcoholic drink:  Tea without a doubt .. and in copious quantities! LoL

Facebook or Twitter:  I'm not on either but I think out of the two it would be facebook.

Your Passion:  Rick has a passion for astronomy and it has rubbed off on me.  I love learning everything I can about the night sky ... and I have an amazing teacher :)

I also love medicine and learning about the human body (should have studied harder and become a doctor or nurse).  I'm a sucker for most medical shows and doco's  and drive Rick nuts correcting him on the correct terms for body parts etc and offering my own self diagnosis of any ills (usually garnered from TV!)

Giving or receiving presents:  I love giving gifts and thinking of and finding the perfect gift and then seeing the reaction of the recipient when I get it right.  Of course, I would be totally lying if I said I didn't enjoy receiving gifts too :)

Favourite Day: The best answer I've seen to this question is from Sunny Girl - "every day I wake up".  I also love Rick's birthday because I enjoy spoiling him :) 

Favourite Flowers:  Too many to choose from.  I love roses, carnations, chrysanthemums and gardenias. I also love lilies for their scent.

Nominations: I am going to break the rule here and not nominate specific people because honestly, you all inspire me and I learn from reading all of your blogs.

This is such a wonderful community and I am constantly amazed at the wealth of support, companionship and advice I receive from all you. I have made so many wonderful friendships here.  You all mean so much to me and I am very blessed and grateful to be a part of this community and to be able to call you my friends.