Sunday, 24 August 2014

Still Here!

Hello friends! Did you miss me? I'm sorry I have been awol from here for so long.  I still haven't replaced the home computer and am therefore still using a tablet.  I've been using this to read and comment but it is difficult to write posts with.  Hence I have been MIA.

I feel I want to connect with my blogland friends, and to let you know I'm still here! Besides, I have so missed posting here.

There certainly has been a lot happening in blogland lately. Some friends are struggling right now with various issues.  My heart goes out to you and you are in my thoughts. There have also been some revelations that have shocked and affected many of us. I would rather not comment any further on that here.

Things for us have been fairly crazy. I had the week before last off work at Rick's insistence.  Believe me, he was not taking no for an answer! I had a cold which went to the chest and I ended up on antibiotics.  I actually enjoyed being at home and just cruising,  not doing much of anything.  Work has been crazy for me all year so the time out was welcome, even though it was due to illness. It also gave me the opportunity to get to spend some time with my cat. For those who don't know, we are nursing her through cancer.  It's been eight months now! Much longer than we thought we would have her and she is still generally holding her own quite well.

Last week I returned to work which,  of course was full on, especially after a week away! I'm feeling much better but still recovering.

It's winter here and although winter for us isn't a patch on our friends in the northern hemisphere,  I am ready for spring to arrive! Overall though,  I must say it hasn't been too bad.

On the ttwd front there hasn't been a lot since we decided to take a break.  Rick surprised me not too long after by saying he wanted to slowly make our way back and find what works for us. We discussed it, we both miss the extra connection and intimacy it brings us. We agreed we wanted to slowly reintroduce it.

Since then however,  there hasn't been much happening.  Rick said recently he does want to slowly get back to our roles,  but is unsure how to go about it. He is afraid of failing again and disappointing me (his words). I told him yes he may make mistakes,  so might I and it may not work, but that shouldn't be a reason not to try. As long as we keep communicating, we can work through it.

We have continued to 'play' from time to time. For some reason I have struggled more with the spankings and am wondering why this is.  Rick of course has noticed this too and has stopped spanking and made comments such as "such noise!". I have to say, he has modified the spanking somewhat given my struggle coping. They are not nearly as hard.

I said to him recently I wonder if my struggle could be because without the overall dynamic I don't feel in a general submissive mindset. While we may not be back on board fully with ttwd things are good and Rick is starting to assert his dominance more. Insisting I take time off to recover for example.

As I mentioned above, he is as dominant as ever in the bedroom :) We had a great night last night complete with nipple tweaking,  pinching, pulling, hair grabbing and, of course, some spanking ... which I struggled with again.  Sigh

It feels so good writing here after so long! It took me ages though on the tablet lol, so I will leave it here for now.  Hopefully it won't be so long between posts next time! Hope everyone is having a great weekend :)

65 comments:

  1. Hi Roz,

    Welcome back! I never felt you were gone, though, because you are such a faithful commenter on my blog.

    Cats are tough; I hope your dear one lives a lot longer than you ever thought.

    Hugs,
    Hermione

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    1. Hi Hermoine, thank you so much for your lovely comment and thoughts for kitty. She has stayed with us much longer than we thought. She is a real fighter.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  2. MIss you....of course. Altho i do love your comments, my friend, it is good to know how things are going with you.
    hugs abby

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    1. Aww, thank you so much Abby:)

      Hugs
      Roz

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  3. I have missed you. It sounds like you know where you want to be so just take those baby steps.

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    1. Thank you so much HS, I have missed being here. We are taking things slowly ... very slowly! LoL

      Hugs
      Roz

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  4. Hi Roz, I am happy that you have given us news, even more because it is difficult, as you have the tablet-handicap. Darn computers! And thank you so much more for commenting in my blog, even though you have to use the tablet. I have no real way of expressing how much I appreciate that. ((hugs))

    I am glad that Rick insisted you had a week off. When you needed antibiotics to get rid of this cold, it was nothing to be trifled with! I am happy for you and your cat and hope she’ll go on and be better again.
    It’s great that you slowly find a way back to more dd. What matters most is that Rick and you talk about it first of all, because you both have this wish for more connection and intimacy. Therefore, by talking things through, you’ll find the best way for you. I am fully with you, because even though there might be mistakes or difficult moments, you can only get what you want by trying. Don’t know if ‘no pain no gain’ is the right phrase here, but somehow, if you imagine Rick with a paddle, it might fit. :) Seriously though, I am so sure that you two will make it work, because you want this. You know that you two can be closer with dd than without, that’s awesome and I am convinced you’ll find what suits you best.
    Your last night sounds awesome, I want these things so badly again too, but if you had few spankings during the last months, your bum will be much more sensitive, won’t it? Hmmm, some extra exercises might be in order. :) Enjoy your weekend, too.

    hugs

    Nina

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    1. Hi Nina, thank you so much:) Trying to blog on the tablet isn't easy, I really need to look into getting a keyboard for it as suggested below.

      I'm glad too that Rick insisted. I'm still getting rid of the rest of the cough. Unfortunately, kitty won't get better, which is why I was so glad to be able to spend time with her. She is holding her own well at the moment though and has stayed with us a lot longer than we thought.

      "No pain no gain" lol. You are so right though. We do miss the extra connection dd brings. Things are good though and I am sure we will find what works best for us. It's funny, I really am finding spankings hard. I do think it's the combination of frequency and not having the overall dynamic.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  5. So great to see you here again! I really hope you're feeling better and that work slows down a little. I'm right there with you on ttwd. When we began I still marvel at what I could take. I was so deeply into it. But Nick doesn't do discipline and as time has gone on nothing feels 'real' it's only play and that turned the spanking from something that was feeding my mind my emotions and my soul, to being slapped on the butt - and it just hurt. Not an answer for you, but the way I feel. I sure hope you're here more.

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    1. Hi PK, thank you so much :) I am feeling better, though still getting rid of the cough. I'm glad Rick insisted on me taking time. No sign of work letting up!

      Your comment got me thinking, thank you:) I do think the lack of the overall dynamic and submissive feelings on my part are factors in my struggling with spankings lately. Rick has started to assert himself more though:)

      Hugs
      Roz

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  6. It's good to see you posting!

    Hope you're feeling better, and glad to hear that your kitty is still hanging in there!

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    1. Thank you so much Lil :) I am feeling much better and so grateful kitty is still with us :)

      Hugs
      Roz

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  7. So good to see your post, Roz!! Sorry you've been sick, but glad to hear you're getting better.

    Also happy to hear your ttwd is at work :) Having recently fallen of the horse, I think it helps greatly -when your in that submissive mindset- to handle spankings. It's amazing how much it hurts when you're not there. Master will also back off, I wonder if that's really the best thing though...but, then again, maybe it is the best thing...oh, who knows. Lol.

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    1. Thank you so much Misty, I am feeling better, although still getting rid of this darn cough.

      I'm so glad to know I'm not alone in struggling with spankings when I'm not in a submissive mindset. Yeah, hard to know if backing off is best or not ... though I'm glad he does! LoL

      Hugs
      Roz

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  8. Was thrilled when you came up on the blog roll. I'm used to seeing your comments but posts, no. This is a treat.
    Glad to hear you are over your cold and that life is moving along, a snail's pace isn't necessarily a bad thing.
    Nice that your kitty is hanging in there and you had some quality time with her.
    Nice to see you back and hope we do so again in the near future.

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    1. Thank you so much for your lovely words Sunny, you made me smile :) Taking things slowly is good for us right now I think.

      I emailed you to say it took me a while to be abe to start, but I read Flying High and absolutely loved it. Thank you!:)

      Hugs
      Roz

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  9. HI Roz, glad you are able to post today. We have just last week lost our twenty year old cat, bless him I miss him so much so I understand how hard it is to see your little friend so poorly. No advice on the spanking thing although we had a phase a while ago of the same sort of struggle. I think it just a sort of cyclical thing !
    love Jan,xx

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    1. Hi Jan, thank you :) I am so very sorry to hear about your cat. It's so hard losing a pet. We were at a party at the neighbours on Saturday and their cat is 24!

      This will be the second for me this yesr after losing the last dog my ex and I had together earlier this year. Tbe dogs stayed with him do I hadn't had much contact, but it wad still hard.

      I'm sure you have wonderful memories of your boy. Are you familiar with the Rainbow Bridge? Look it uo if you aren't. It's beautiful.

      Sending big ((hugs))
      Roz

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  10. Nice to see you back, Roz! "Now, someone get that woman a keyboard for her tablet!" :-)

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    1. Thank you so much Anon. Yes, will definitely have to look into s keyboard. Thank you!

      Hugs
      Roz

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  11. I agree with anon - bluetooth keyboard for that tablet!
    So good to see you here on your own blog. Glad to know you're recovering and your cat is being a brave feline.
    Spanking comes and goes here. Some are easy, others I wonder why I ever wanted them!
    hugs
    DF

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    1. Hi DF, thank you:) Another vote for a keyboard lol. I'm grateful for the suggestion and will definitely have to pursue it!

      I'm definitely wondering more lately why I wanted spanking! LoL ... not really but .. you know lol

      Hugs
      Roz

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  12. So lovely to see a post from you Roz.
    Due to family security I can only ever use a tablet. It is harder but can be done!
    That mindset is so very quick to go I think, and spankings hurt, I think we just build up a bit of resistance to them when they happen more often. Perhaps you need to play more!
    Always great to read your comments, thanks for always being there.

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    1. Hi Janey, thank you:) I don't know how you manage to post on a tablet, especially pics, links etc. Do you have a keyboard for it? Apparently I need one! LoL.

      Hmm, maybe we do need to play more :) I do think its a combination of frequency and loss of the overall dynamic that is contributing to me struggling. I'm glad to know I'm not alone in this!

      Hugs
      Roz

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  13. Glad to hear you are doing well...hope you get your computer fixed soon!

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    1. Thank you Bea :) will definitely have to get the computer sorted soon! Or at least a keyboard for the tablet.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  14. Roz is back!!!! That week of down time with kitty was worth it even though you felt rotten and your computer is a big meanie. Just keep talking and whatever is meant to be will be.

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    1. Aww, thank you so much Chickie :) Yes, it was so good to have the week resting and spending time with her. It did cause my boss to have kittens of his own though lol

      Hugs
      Roz

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  15. Hey Roz...Kudos to Rick for making you take time off work and take care of you...and now you feel better! Just take it easy and don't overdo.

    I really do feel for you trying to blog with just a tablet...trying to comment on my tablet sucks so can only imagine blogging. Get a keyboard for that tablet! ;)

    So happy your kitty is doing well...sending lots of prayers and healing energy for your baby.

    I am sure you and Rick will resolve the TTWD issues and find your way to what works best for your marriage. Sending lots of positive energy for ya.

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. Thank you Cat, especially for the prayers and healing energy. I appreciate it so much.

      It is much more difficult with the tablet. Apparently I definitely need a keyboard!:)

      I'm glad Rick insisted on me taking time off. He definitely asserted his authority on that!

      Hugs
      Roz

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  16. I am so happy to see you post again Roz, even if you still don't have a new computer yet. Sorry you were so sick, but taking time like that is so important for recovery, and isn't it fun to not have a schedule?
    Here, fall is already in the air, and the days are starting to be shorter again.
    As to the dynamic, I can see that you wouldn't be in the right mindset if the overall is lacking, at least that is how I am. I would suggest for him to just ease into it....

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    1. Thank you so much Julia :) I'm glad Rick insisted I take time out. It was so nice to not have an alarm clock and schedule!

      The days are starting to get longer and I can't wait for spring! I'm so glad I'm not alone in my struggling with the spankings. He is going easier and we are taking things slowly, which I think is good for us right now.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  17. Scrappy! Good to see you. I miss our late night/early morning chats. A few leaves are already starting to turn here so your summer is coming. Glad you are feeling better and to hear how you and Rick are doing.

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    1. Hey Mrs Bossy!:) I miss our chats too :( Drop me a message if you see me online. Hope things are well with you and MM. Days are starting to get longer here ... Yay!

      Hugs
      Roz

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  18. Roz, change of seasons is always an uplifting event. Good to hear from you and glad your kitty cat is hanging in there.

    Rick was right to insist you slow down! Funny isn't it how when a woman gets sick you almost have to tie her to the bed to get her to slow down, but when man gets even a little under the weather, he is immediately ready for some TLC!

    Keep on searching for what you need and at the least life will never be dull!

    Hugs and Blessings,
    George

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    1. Hi George, thank you :) LoL, I have to say, Rick is pretty good when he is sick ... although he does like some TLC lol. I think he was getting a bit frustrated trying to get me to rest!

      Hugs
      Roz

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  19. Hi Roz!!!!

    So glad to hear from you again :)

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    1. Thank you so much Lucy:) Hope things are well with you, Ryan and the gang. How is our little girl?:)

      Hugs
      Roz

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  20. Nice to see you posting again :) A keyboard for your tablet would make posting simple. Easier than a computer I think. I love mine:)

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    1. Thank you so much Lillyanna :) Definitely have to look into that keyboard :)

      Hugs
      Roz

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  21. Well we know you are still around silly girl! We see you EVERYWHERE!!!

    I hope you two find a path that works for you both. I know how it feels when you feel like you are spinning your wheels. Sometimes it is easier/safer to 'stay a safe distance' than trying to let yourself go. Take a deep breath and JUMP my friend. I know you can do it!

    Much love
    willie

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    1. Hi Willie, LOL, I have been 'trying' to keep up with reading and commenting :)

      Thank you so much, and for all your support and being there. You are a true friend:) even though there isn't a great deal happening on the ttwd front we are good. I guess it takes both of us to jump.

      Love and hugs
      Roz

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  22. Its just lovely to see a post from you Roz.

    Im sure you will find what works for you both, because you both want it, and yeah everyone makes mistakes, but its by doing so we learn more about ourselves and put it behind us.

    x

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    1. Hi Tori, thank you so much :) I think we learn and grow so much from the difficult times and making mistakes.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  23. Hi Roz!!
    So glad to see you back blogging, I know it's really hard to write on a tablet. I couldn't get used to it at all! I hope you're feeling better, and I'm happy you were forced to take some time off!
    I'm sure with time, you'll find your way back to ttwd. Sounds like your talking. I know it's hard when you're not in the right mindset, but I know you can do it!
    Hugs

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    1. Hi Jennelle, thank you for the lovely comment and for the encouragement. I am feeling much better and am so glad Rick insisted I take time out to rest.

      It is so hard when you aren't in the mindset.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  24. It's good to hear from you. You are such an encouragement to me and the fact that you've visited my blog via tablet means a lot to me. I know how much harder it is to do things like this with a tablet.

    It sounds like things are heading in a good direction and you both want to make this work in a way that is right for you. I think that sounds perfect!

    And *hugs* regarding your cat.

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    1. Hi Rose, thank you so much, and for the hugs :) Even though ttwd may be in the background at the moment we are doing well. We do both miss the extra connection ttwd brings though and are working to find what works for us.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  25. Gosh my phone is giving me palpitations! It won't let me comment!!
    I enjoy ... Your comments and your blog! Never go away!!
    I'm glad Rickbinsisted you rest! It's nice that you were also able to spend time with your cat!
    As for TTWD.... My guy is gone a great deal so when things happen... It hurts!! So I have no great advice! Lol

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    1. Hi Minelle, thank you so much :) I really appreciate you persevering to comment on your phone.

      I am glad Rick insisted I take time and rest, I needed it. So glad to know I'm not alone in struggling with spanking. I thought I was just being a wus and worried Rick thinks I am too!

      Hugs
      Roz

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  26. Life can just take over sometimes!

    Happy that you found some time to write. I know WE are all happy to see your update, but I'm sure it felt good for you too.

    Taking your time getting back to what is right for you both will be so worth all the work!! Keep us posted!

    XOXO Pearl

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    1. Hi Pearl, thank you so much and for visiting again given the length of time between posts! I think your first visit was to my previous post, which was AGES ago lol

      You are right, it will definitely be worth it. I think taking it slowly is good for us right now.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  27. Roz, it is so good to see you post after all this time. I know exactly how you feel! I am wondering how on earth I am going to cope with a 'real' spanking again after all this time. I'm feeling quite nervous.

    I was reading about your 'play session' and wincing - then I suddenly realised that we often have 'play sessions' like that and I had never really thought of them as being out of the ordinary. Gulp. Am I kinky or what! And don't worry about making a lot of noise! It's a wonder you can't hear me over where you are!

    Hope you are feeling much better than you were. Did you go on antibiotics? Sounds like Rick took good care of you. Hope to hear more from you now you are back.

    Many hugs
    Ami

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  28. Hi Smi, thank you so much :) I'm sorry I think I have missed some of your recent posts. I have been having trouble downloading and reading your blog recently on the tablet. I think it's the background and colours maybe.

    I really do seem to be struggling with spankings at the moment. I do think it's the frequency and mindset. I'm glad I'm not the only one from reading the comments, that it's not just me being a wus lol

    LOL re the play. I guess makes us both kinky lol. I guess it is 'normal' for us so we don't see it as being out of the ordinary ... that's s good thing! :)

    I did end up on a course of antibiotics and am feeling better, though still trying to get rid of the cough.

    Hugs
    Roz

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  29. I was just wondering about you so I am so glad you posted. I totally get the challenges of posting on a tablet. I have been doing it that way almost a year now and it is definitely slower.
    I hope you find a good mix for the two of you. It sounds like you both want ttwd and will figure it out.
    Glad you feel better. And your winter will be over soon.

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    1. Hi Zoe, thank you so much for your lovely comment. Posting is so hard on the tablet. Can't see what I am doing properly and much slower ... not to mention trying to add pics. It felt good to finally post.

      We are doing well and working through how we want ttwd to look for us.

      Hugs
      Roz

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  30. So good to hear how you are doing. Have been thinking of you. Sending hugs your way... :-)

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    1. Thank you so much Terps:)

      Hugs
      Roz

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  31. Good to see you here. I've been missing myself. Maybe we'll both do better.....
    Saoirse

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    1. Hi Saoirse, thank you. I have really missed posting here and hope to be here more often. It was great to see you post recently too :)

      Hugs
      Roz

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  32. So glad to see you back and glad things are moving forward. I miss you my friend.

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  33. I've been MIA for a while as well, but I'm happy to hear that things are getting better for you. Take it slow, baby steps.. and trust me you are NOT alone! :)

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  34. Hi Roz, just swinging by to say hello.:) Making my rounds in trying to catch up.. once again! lol. Hope life is treating you good! xx

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  35. Just wanted to stop by and say hello, too!! <3

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