In my last post I talked about "our kind of maintenance". To recap, we have what my husband calls a weekly "review" where we discuss how the previous week has been, how our relationship is going, the rules etc and my behaviour during the week. If I have committed any infractions I am spanked, if not, there is no spanking.
I am aware that maintenance for most involves spanking, whether there has been any infraction or not and I understand the reasons given for maintenance spanking. My husband is not a fan of spanking for no infraction. Hence "our kind of maintenance".
In my post I wondered whether a spanking is actually required in order to achieve the desired results of maintenance, or whether the discussion alone is enough. Following on from this, I was having a discussion with my husband a few days later and asked him why he though it was that it seems to take punishment, or the threat of, to ensure the 4 D's are adhered to. After all, this lifestyle is consensual, both parties agree to it and want to run their relationship according to it's parameters. I actually want to show my husband the respect he deserves, follow his leadership and rules etc. So why is it that punishment, or the threat of is required in order to ensure I do follow his leadership?
My husband's reply was this.
I think it's just human nature. Domestic discipline is like the Army
Yes, you heard right, but I'll repeat it - Domestic discipline is like the Army.
My husband then went on to explain that in the Army there are multiple people all working towards the same goal, each with their own ideas of how to get there. If everyone in the Army did things according to their own ideas and ideals chaos would ensue as they would not be working together collectively and the end goal would not be met. Therefore, the Army has a hierarchy, those who set the course and the boundaries and those who follow. It also has a chief who ultimately sets the direction for the rest of the Army to follow. Sanctions are also in place as a deterrent from straying from the set path.
I thought my husband very clever for coming up with this analogy. In domestic discipline a couple share the same goal, to enhance their relationship and the closeness between them. It is the husband who sets the direction the relationship will take in order to each the goal.
Now - back to maintenance - how has this been going for me I hear you ask?
Well, I'm ashamed to say that only one session so far has resulted in no spanking due to several minor infractions occurring. It seems to avoid being spanked during maintenance I have to be squeaky clean having committed absolutely no infractions. Sigh!