Sunday, 9 February 2014

Loss and Grattitude

Ana's Love Spanks story prompted some discussion around when our old life raises its head and collides with our 'current' life.

This is exactly what happened for me last week.  It also explains why I have been a bit hit and miss in blogland this past week.  If I haven't visited you, I apologise.  I hope to get back on track and pick up where I left off.

I think I have mentioned here before that my ex and I had Siberian Husky dogs and that we used to race them as sled dogs.  When we separated, the dogs stayed with my ex.  It made sense as there was no way I was going to be able to handle them myself.

We put a lot of time, energy and effort in raising them and, when old enough, racing them.  They were our life and took the place of having children to a large extent.  Therefore, they have always been a part of me and, although I have barely seen them in the last few years, they remain in my heart and will always be my babies.

On Tuesday I had a phone call from my ex telling me the youngest (now 14) and last surviving dog was in the vet and that things did not look good.  It was a distraught phone call.  I dropped everything, left work and went out to the vet to see him.  He had had a massive seizure and a dangerously high temperature.  The vets had had difficulty controlling the seizure which ended up lasting close to 30 minutes and had to anaesthetise him.

He had been unconscious from the very beginning of the seizure, which was a blessing, and that was  how I saw him.  It broke my heart to see my baby lying there unconscious and unresponsive.

Due to the nature of what had happened everything was an unknown. The vets couldn't tell us if he would wake up and if he did, what his recovery would be like.  We also had no clue as to what had caused the seizure.

My ex and I decided we therefore had to give him a chance to fight and to see if he could/would recover.  Tuesday night we had to move him from the vet clinic taking care of him to the after hours clinic so that he could be cared for overnight.  We did this and brought him back to the regular clinic Wednesday morning.

He started showing signs of possible responsiveness on the Wednesday but didn't regain full consciousness.  The vet staff were preparing him to move him back to the after hours clinic (which meant us having to drive him there ourselves) when he made the decision for us and stopped breathing.

It was a traumatic experience for both of us.  You may think things may have been a little awkward.  Particularly between my ex and Rick.

Rick was truly amazing.  He fully understood that it was important for me to be there for my boy and that it was a priority for me.  He understood what these dogs meant to me and also that this was something my ex and I had to do together.  He gave us space to be with our boy and make decisions for him together and was fully supportive of not only me, but my ex as throughout.  He was, and continues to be such an amazing source of support and comfort to me loving on me.

My love, I am so grateful for you patience, understanding and support and how you were, and continue to be there for me every step of the way with your loving arms.  I cannot adequately express how much this means to me.  You amaze me and are truly my rock.

I am grateful to my ex for involving me and giving me the opportunity to say goodbye and to the veterinarian staff who did their absolute best for him while treating us with the utmost compassion, empathy and kindness.



66 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry for your loss, Roz. I know how hard it is, our family dog, who was much part of our family, died on my 21st bday.

    Sieberian husky is such a beautiful dog! My son had the chance to meet an Alaskan husky last week, he fell in love!
    Hugs
    Kim

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    1. Hi Kim, thank you so much for your kind words. Oh my ... to lose your friend on your 21st birthday. I'm so sorry.

      They are beautiful dogs as are the Alaskan's. I bet your son fell in love! :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  2. I'm sorry Roz. It is so difficult when you lose a pet because they
    are a member of your family. We lost our cat Snickers who was 18 years old and it was quite an adjustment. Hugs. Amyee

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    1. Hi Amyee, thank you so much for visiting and for your kind thoughts.

      They do become such a huge part of our life don't they and it is hard when we lose them.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  3. Hugs. I am so glad you have the support you need. I am so sorry for your loss.

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words and support HS

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  4. Oh, my friend, i am so sorry for your loss pets are indeed members of our family. I am very glad that you had the support you need during this sad time.
    hugs abby

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    1. Thank you so much Abby, they are such a part of the family and it's hard losing them. Rick was just so wonderful during what could have been a awkward time and is still a wonderful source of support. My ex actually was too.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  5. Replies
    1. Thank you so much P. Also for the support you have given me through this.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  6. Roz,
    I'm thinking of you. I'm so glad Rick was there for you and still is. And I'm really sorry for your loss.

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    1. Hi PK, thank you so much. The support here is just so amazing and warms my heart.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  7. Roz

    I am so sorry for your loss. Our pets do hold a dear place in our heart and they are definitely like our babies. I'm so glad Rick was such a comfort to you during this time.

    love
    sara

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    1. Thank you so much for your lovely words Sara.

      Our pets do become such a huge part of us and it is hard losing them. Rick was so wonderful and such a support. The support here too is truly amazing and heart warming.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  8. Roz, i'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is so difficult. Huskies are beautiful dogs.

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    1. Hi Leah, thank you so much for your lovely words and support. It is hard. They are such a huge part of life and family.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  9. I'm so sorry Roz.There are people who don't understand our pets are like our children and we mourn them the same way. Those of us who do, understand the depth of your grief and you have my heart and sympathy for the loss.

    I am so glad Rick understands and was right there with you.

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    1. Hi Sunny, thank you so much for your wonderful and supportive words.

      I know you understand this and you right. There are those who don't, but I didn't hesitate to post this fearing readers may think it 'silly' ... well, maybe a trifle. The support I have received here has been truly amazing.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  10. Sorry to hear about the loss of your Husky. I know how much a dog can be part of you.

    Prefectdt

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    1. Hi Pref, thank you so much for your lovely words and support. They do become such a huge part of us and it's hard when we lose them.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  11. Oh Roz I am so sorry about the loss of your dog and that Rick is there to support you.

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    1. Thank you so much Zoe, Rick has been so amazing, especially given how awkward the situation could have been. He is continuing to be wonderfully supportive.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  12. I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad you are surrounded by loving support. Hugs

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    1. Thank you so much Terps, I have been surrounded by loving support, and the support from here has been truly wonderful and amazing. I am so grateful to my blog family.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  13. Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad your ex contacted you so you could be part of your boy's care at the end. Thinking of you and sending healing wishes.

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    1. Hi Meg, thank you for reading and for your lovely words and support. The fact you called him my boy made me smile as that is how I have always thought of him.

      I am so grateful to my ex for letting me know and be involved. I am so grateful to Rick too for his loving support and to my blog family. You guys are amazing :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  14. {{{hugs}}} Our pets really do become our children. I am sorry for your loss. But, I just love how much Rick was there for you, and how he kept his head through it all. Not many men would be okay if their wives spent time like this with their ex. He trusts you, and he knows you're his. :) I love that.

    {{{hugs}}} EsMay

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    1. Hi Es May, thank you so much. Also for the wonderful support you have given me thought this. You are such a wonderful person :)

      Rick was so wonderful in what could have been an awkward situation and is continuing to give me loving support.

      Our pets really do become such a part of us and it is hard to lose them.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  15. Roz, I am thinking of you. I don't have pets but do understand how close you can get to them. I am so glad Rick can take care of you even when that means backing off a little or giving you some space.

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    1. Hi Janey, thank you so much for your lovely words and support.

      Rick was truly amazing. He was so supportive and understood that it was important to me and that it was something I needed to do with my ex and that I needed to process.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  16. So sorry Roz. We used to have bunnies and it was hard to say goodbye to them. I know how much of a hole it can leave when a pet passes. You are in my thoughts!

    *hugs*
    Rose

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    1. Hi Rose, thank you so much for your lovely words and support and I'm sorry to hear about your bunnies. Pets so become such a huge part of us and it is hard to say goodbye.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  17. So sorry Roz, i was devestated when we had to have our dog put down last year, they are such a huge part of our lives, happy for you that you had such great support all around.

    hugs

    x

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    1. Hi Tori, thank you for your lovely words and support. I'm so sorry you lost your dog as well. They are such a huge part of us and it's hard losing them.

      Rick has been so loving and supportive and the support from my blog family has been truly amazing.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  18. Oh Roz, losing a pet is so hard. I am very happy Rick was there for you, and made what could have been a really uncomfortable situation, go as smooth as possible. That's a good man!

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    1. Thank you so much Betsy, our pets become such a part of us and it is hard.

      Rick was truly amazing in his understanding and support in what could have been an awkward situation. He understood it was important to me and something I needed to go through with my ex.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  19. Oh Roz, I am so sorry for your loss. How great of Rick to be so understanding, Bless you all
    love Jan.xx

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    1. Thank you so much Jan, the support from my blog friends has been truly amazing. Rick was so understanding, loving and supportive and a great source of strength.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  20. Sorry to read of the loss of your beloved pet. Huskies are such strong beautiful animals.
    hugs
    DF

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    1. Thank you so much DF, they are beautiful strong animals. Ours just loved being in harness and did us proud :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  21. Aww Roz, it is so hard to loose a pet! Sounds like Rick was so wonderful and supportive. That is exactly what is needed in these kind of times. Sending you the biggest of hugs,

    <3 Katie

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    1. Hi Katie, thank you for your lovely words and for the hug :)

      Pets become such a huge part of us and it's hard when we lose them. Rick was truly so amazing and supportive in what otherwise could have been an awkward situation.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  22. I am so so sorry for your loss. I've been there myself and it's almost like losing a piece of you. {{hugs}}

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    1. Thank you so much Cathy, I am sorry you have experienced this too. It is like losing a piece of you.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  23. Sweet Roz...I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost many four-footed family members over the years and it never gets easier. I am so grateful that you have such a loving man such as Rick to support you and ease your pain.

    Thanks for sharing the poem...I had a copy of this years ago and lost it so now I can download and print this version.

    Sending prayers, healing energy and positive thoughts.

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. Thank you so much Cat for your wonderful words and support. It never gets any easier does it.

      Rick was truly amazing. He was so understanding and supportive in what could have been an awkward situation. He understood that this was important to me and something I have to go through with my ex.

      I just love that poem and wanted to share.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  24. I am so sorry for your loss Roz.
    On the other hand I am hear the story how you husband was supportive to you and your ex knowing when to give you the space you need to take care of your best friend your dog in a time of need.
    Yes he is a great man.

    Bob

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    1. Thank you so much Bob. Rick was so wonderful. So understanding and supportive. Yes, he is indeed a good man and I feel honoured and lucky to have him :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  25. Oh Roz, I'm sorry for your loss. The rainbow bridge is beautiful and incredibly sad at the same time. Lots of love.

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    1. Thank you so much Natahsa. I just love the rainbow bridge. Beautiful and sad at the same time. Bittersweet.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  26. Roz, I'm so sorry for your loss, I'm glad your husband was there to support you through this.

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    1. Hi Jenelle, thank you so much. Rick has been so wonderful. So understanding and supportive. I am blessed :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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    1. Hi Bleuame, thank you so much for your wonderful support. I truly appreciate it.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  28. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sounds like he was a great dog! I'm glad you have the support you need, and that poem is beautiful! Hugs!

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    1. Thank you so much for your lovely words Kenzie. He was very special, and my baby. I just love the rainbow bridge. Beautiful and sad at the same time.

      Rick has been so wonderful, understanding and supportive. I am blessed :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  29. Replies
    1. Thank you so much Elisa

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  30. I'm so sorry about your baby, it must have been so hard for you. Pets become part of the family and it's so hard to say goodbye. I'm so happy for you that you had Rivk and your Ex to support you through this

    Many hugs x

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    1. Hi Missy, thank you so much for your lovely words. They do become such a part of us and it is so hard to lose them.

      Rick was just amazing. So understanding and supportive and I am so grateful to my ex for letting me know and allowing me to be there for my boy.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  31. I am sorry for your loss Roz, but I am truly amazed that apparently people can have nice ex spouses like yours. To call you and be there as well as making decisions.

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    1. Hi Julia, thank you so much.

      I am so very grateful to my ex for letting me know and allowing me to be there for my boy. When we were together they were our life. We put so much into caring for them and training and racing so he understood the deep connection I had with them.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  32. hugssss, Roz. I had to put my boy to sleep in May. I brought him home from the shelter already old and mistreated. I remember thinking he wouldn't be having any more panic attacks.
    That is wonderful that Rick was able to be there, to give you not only the support but the space you needed :) hugs again

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  33. Hi Joelle, Thank you so much. I am so sorry that you have fairly recently been though this as well. You did a wonderful thing for you boy. You gave him the love and care he deserved.

    Rick was so wonderfully understanding and supportive. I am so blessed.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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  34. I am so sorry for your loss Roz. I know this pain and it's just never easy. you're in my thoughts and I hope your heart will mend, leaving you with only the very best of memories of your boy. Love. -m.

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    1. Hi Maryanne, I'm sorry I am so late in replying. Thank you very much for your lovely words. It means so much to me. I know you too have faced this. It is so hard to lose a beloved pet, but I have such wonderful memories that I will cherish.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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