Monday 20 January 2014

Mixed Ramblings

As the title suggests, this is a post of mixed ramblings.  A snap shot of what has been happening in Rick and Rozzie land.  Not a particularly exciting post so please feel free to skip it if you like :)

We are still on (supposedly) summer vacation.  This week is meant to be our final week before returning to work next Monday.  However, I now have to take next Monday off work to assist a family member.  Also, the weather has been 'iffy' during the holiday so with that and me having to take a day next Monday we have decided to return to work tomorrow instead.  Sadly, that also means I may not be as present in blog land as I would like as we settle back into regular routine.  I hope you will forgive me.

We have enjoyed our time away from work and time together connecting and have had numerous daytime 'dates' going to favourite spots and cafes etc.  I really don't want our time together and dates to come to an end, but I suppose one has to return to reality at some point.

As I mentioned, the weather hasn't been fully cooperative.  It was been nice and warm but often cloudy with gale force winds which make it rather unpleasant to be outside and periods of rain.  This coming week we are meant to see a return to rain ... hence the return to work.  Given the awful freezing temperatures and conditions my Northern friends are currently experiencing I'm certainly not complaining ... not much anyway :)

DD wise, apart from the spanking start to the new year and lines I previously wrote about, DD has pretty much been in the background over the holiday.  I suppose I should say that the physical aspects of DD have been more in the background.  Rick has very much remained in control.  We have been having fun and are feeling connected.  I need to feel more of his dominance though in general terms.  I crave it and thrive on it.  Without it, I find it hard to maintain my submissiveness.

I always marvel at the ability of old habits to creep up on you and rear their ugly head.  Last Friday was one of those occasions.  The day started with having to hang around waiting for the plumber to turn up ... for the second time over the holiday's!  It was also release day for the Boss's new album ... which, of course, we had pre-ordered!  As you can imagine Rick was keen to get to the shop straight away to collect it.  It's not that long now before we head off to the concerts!

That morning I had also rung the vet as I knew we were fast running out of medication for our cat which I have previously mentioned we are nursing through cancer.  Rather than just collect more meds from the vet, we decided we should make an appointment and take her down to see him so that he could see how she was going etc as it had been a wee while since he had examined her.  It turned out the only appointment I could get was later that afternoon.

For some reason whenever I have an appointment, or something I have to be at at a given time, I start focusing on it and stressing about making it on time ... regardless of how much time I have up my sleeve beforehand.

We went into the town to collect the new album and run a few errands etc and true to form, I started stressing about getting back home and getting organised for the vet (which was still hours away) and as a result the control monster and Scrappy both started to rear their head.  I started snapping at Rick.  Reminding him we had to get back home and get the cat to the vet and generally being short with him constantly uttering 'we haven't got time!" ... when in fact we had plenty.

Things got worse when we got home and tried to collect the cat.  She was outside and Rick decided it was best to leave it to me to grab her worried that if both of us tried she would run off.  So out I went why he played on his phone.

The cat ended up under a car and in frustration I came back inside to grab the treats to try and coax her out.  Seeing Rick on his phone I snapped at him ... something along the lines of "you're not help" and stormed outside again.  Rick followed me out and together we eventually got her inside whereupon she initially managed to escape while trying to put her in the cage resulting in me actually yelling at Rick about closing doors etc.

I don't know why old habits come creep back in and respect and submission seem to fly out the window when I am stressed.  This is definitely a work in progress for me and something I so desperately wish I could better manage.

Afterwards I felt terrible for the way I had treated Rick and I still do.  I am sorry honey.  You certainly didn't deserve me yelling at you.

The vet was quite happy with how our baby is doing at the moment.  She is holding her own well and the steroids have boosted her no end and also got her eating quite well and she has put on some weight.  We discussed chemo, but his opinion is that in her case chemo is not a cure and would only (hopefully) help with the symptoms.  He does not want to start her on it now but it is something we can look at a little further down the track if she deteriorates.

There was a funny moment during the consultation.  The poor cat was so stressed that she just sat there on the table and was very compliant ... he he.  I asked the vet if he could give her her medication for the day since we were there and all.  Well, this floppy complaint cat upped and hissed at him straight away as soon as he had given her the pill.

So this is it ... holiday ends and return to work ... and it seems Mother Nature decided to end our holiday with a bang as this afternoon we were hit with a 6.3 magnitude earthquake.  The epicentre was quite some distance away but it was felt strongly here.  There have been numerous aftershocks but fortunately we haven't felt them.  It has, however meant some disruption to services including public transport.  Trains are out for now while tracks are checked etc and some areas are without power.

Just to finish I thought I would share a funny conversation we had the other day.  We were sitting on a bench at a lookout admiring the view when bee started flying around my head.  I had a terrible experience being attacked by a swarm of honey bees as a child and as a result have a phobia of the blasted things.

Don't move

Oh what!  Do I smell nice and pretty or something?  Do they think I'm a flower or something because they always seem to hang around me

Mmm yes you do.  Honey, if I was a bee I'd land on you

Umm, corny but sweet.  Not sure how that would rate as a pick up line? LoL

Have a good week everyone :)

43 comments:

  1. Love your ramblings....thanks for the update. I so understand about needing his....encouragement....to maintain your submisson. Good luck getting back into the work routine...we are about to be hit by that darn polar vortex again BRRRR.
    hugs abby

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    1. Hi Abby, thank you :) I do need to 'feel' his dominance. Our roles really do feed off each other don't they?

      BRRR ... stay safe and warm! I have been thinking of all my Northern friends affected by the extreme conditions.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  2. I do the SAME exact thing with appointments Roz ! I fixate on the time, and those around me BETTER fall into line so we are not just on time but early. Sigh, like the world is going to suddenly come to an end if we come sliding in under the wire.

    I'm sorry your summer has been so crummy. Sure we are having winter here, but winter can only be bearable if we have a desirable summer to think about!

    No reaction from Rick concerning Snappy Scrappy huh?
    love
    willie

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    1. Hey Willie,

      Glad to know I'm not alone in this! Rick was very sweet and understanding. I did apologise to him for my reactions.

      Summer so far certainly hasn't been stella this year. We have had the odd rainy patch (which we are in the middle of again at the moment) but the main spoiler has been the winds. It has been nice and warm on the whole though.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  3. Hi Roz,
    I love corny and sweet - your ending line was perfect. :-) I am sorry that there has been some struggles and hope returning to work you find some rhythm. Hugs to you and your cat, too :-)

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    1. Thank you so much Terps :) I love corny and sweet too ... and this was good! LoL. I could probably write a post of "Rickisms" LoL

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  4. Sorry to hear about all your stress hon, we do seem to snap back to our "old" sassy selves more during stressful times. I am sure Rick understood that.

    Wow, you had a big earthquake too! I have only been in one earthquake and it was very minor.

    The pick up line was great. Loved it!

    hugs
    sara

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    1. Thank you Sara, it can be so hard when we are stressed not to react the 'old' way. A work in progress for me. Fortunately, Rick was very understanding and yes, he is very good with the lines LoL

      Earthquakes are no fun ... that's for sure! Once again this one has left me on edge.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  5. Very sweet line. Sorry your vacation wasn't all that great weather wise but it sounds as if you made the most of it. Glad you kittie is doing well and sorry about the earthquake. When I saw it on MSN this am, I immediately thought of you and checked the location.

    Getting back in the work groove is always hard. Hope it goes better than anticipated.

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    1. Hi Sunny, thank you so much, and thank you for thinking of us re the earthquake. They aren't fun ... that's for sure and I am once again on edge.

      We did make the most of the holiday and managed to get through the first day back at work today. It is hard getting back to normal routine.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  6. That was very sweet of Rick even though it was kinda corny.

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    1. Hi Angel, it was sweet :) He is so good at coming out with pick up lines and I love it ... and they aren't always corny LoL. As I mentioned above, I should perhaps make a post of them LoL

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  7. Hi Roz, Glad to hear that your cat is doing ok. I think when it comes to cats, there is a special bond between them and women. We have a cat and I am always teasing Nina that she likes the cat more than me! Like you, Nina gets anxious about vet visits, and I have learned to just be agreeable go with the flow!

    I wish you a smooth transition back into the "real world". And I give the Bee thing a big thunbs up!

    Hugs,
    George

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    1. Hi George, thank you :) It certainly is hard watching kitty and I'm so glad she seems to be doing fairly well ... as well as can be expected at the moment. Rick was very understanding about my reactions and I apologised for them.

      We managed to get through the first day back at work and glad you approve of Ricks line LoL. He certainly it good at them ... and I love it :) They aren't always corny either LoL

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  8. I never heard about the earthquake, hope everything gets back to normal soon and I hope that things improve with the pussy cat.

    I obsess about being on time, if not early, for appointments too. I wonder if is related to the Bottom/Sub gene?

    Prefectdt

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    1. Hi Pref, thank you :)

      Earthquakes aren't fun and the aftershocks are still continuing, although we aren't feeling them as the epicentre was quite some distance from us. It has left me on edge though.

      Thank you for your thoughts on kitty. I'm glad she is doing fairly well at the moment.

      I'm so glad I'm not the only one who stresses about appointments. Hmm, that's a good question!

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  9. Glad everything is ok with you guys and the quake and with your cat.
    Glad to hear from ya and that you're doing good. :)

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    1. Hi Sarah, thank you :) We are doing fairly well ... allbeit on edge at the moment after the earthquake and kitty is holding her own for now.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  10. It may be rambling but I could follow you. Life is always interesting when one is looking in. One day at a time. Earthquakes and bees. Lol

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    1. Hi Blondie, I'm glad you were able to follow. I was afraid it might have just been a jumble LoL. You are right .. one day at a time.

      Yes, earthquakes and bees ... two of my phobias! LoL I do admit, the earthquake has left me on edge.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  11. Rambling e-mails are the best. It's like a catch up over coffee (a few cups ;). Wow on the earthquake - that is scary. I used to obsess about being on time but my kids have taught me otherwise...All the rest, well, the cat, I hope that he is healthy again very soon.

    I have to say, as much as I love holidays, I also love routine. I may be boring that way but I like it. I hope it's as good for you.

    :)

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    1. Hi Natasha, thank you :) Earthquakes are definitely no fun and it's left me a little on edge.

      I'm so glad it seems I'm definitely not the only one who obsesses about appointments. Lucky you managing to ditch the habit :)

      Almost made it through the first week getting back to normal routine and so far so good ... though I am very tired LoL. I'm a routine girl too.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  12. I'm sorry your holiday is over :( Have you talked to Rick about needing to feel his dominance more in general? Maybe you should...but you knew that's what I would say! lol

    hugs
    p

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    1. Hi P, thank you :) Yes, I had a feeling that is what you would say LoL. I have talked to him and hopefully as life gets back to normal routine ...

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  13. Hi Roz! It sounds like life is doing its thing and getting in the way of your sweet nature. I'm not teasing...I think it's normal. I've been snapping at mine on the phone even though it's so nice to just talk to him for a few minutes. It makes no sense to be snappy but I'm not doing a good job of cutting it out.

    I hope that maybe some regular routines help you two keep moving towards more of what you need from Rick and what he desires from you. Hang in there Roz.

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    1. Hi Susie, thank you :) I totally hear you, and it must be especially hard with MM away ((Hugs)). It makes no sense, yet we do it ... why? Bah! I wish I knew the answer.

      I do think getting back to regular routines will help. Almost made it through the first week!

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  14. When things are stressful we tend to all go into that raging, snappy lady.
    I am sorry about the earthquake...sheesh when will you get a break?
    I am happy that your cat is doing better!

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    1. Hi Minelle, thank you :) It happens doesn't it? I only wish I knew how to avoid it! Thank you for your thoughts on kitty. She is holding her own at the moment.

      The earthquakes are definitely no fun! The last sizable ones and swarm of quakes was about 6 months ago. Different location this time and the aftershocks are still going, although we aren't feeling them where we are.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  15. catching a cat is always stressful. They just know you're coming with that cage!
    Hope the earthquakes quieten down. You've had more than your fair share of them recently.
    Sweet conversation with Rick at the end :)
    hugs
    DF

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    1. Hi DF, thank you :) Oh you're not kidding about trying to catch a cat! She also knows when we are coming after her to give her her pill each day, so it is getting a little more difficult.

      We do seem to have had a fair bit of earthquake activity recently. I hope they settle down too!

      That conversation was funny. Corny but sweet :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  16. Hi Roz, that was corny, sweet but corny. Bless him. I can easily see how the vet trip made you snappy, I am definitely like that, I hope she carries on holding her own. Good luck back at work
    love Jan.xx

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    1. Hi Jan, thank you so much :) It was corny, but sweet. I loved it LoL. I am hoping that kitty will continue to hold her own for a good while yet.

      Almost made it through the first week back at work. I'm exhausted! LoL

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  17. aww, all the stress, Roz. but no, it's not just you- I struggle with my submission when I get too stressed. My Master refers to it as "the Joelle minefield." Sometimes if He gets in there with some spankings, it might defuse me, but sometimes it makes me worse.

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    1. Thank you Joelle :) It's so frustrating how easily we struggle when stressed isn't it? I get what you say about a spanking sometimes helping and other times making it worse.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  18. If I wasn't afraid that Rick might leave you at home, I'd get you to home with him and ask which boss you are supposed to listen to at the concert. I mean, having Rick there and THE Boss, it might get confusing. ;) So happy that your baby is doing so well now! :) But yuck that you have to go back to work early. :(

    {{{hugs}}} EsMay

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  19. have to stop typing on the tablet. Autocorrect gets me everytime. I meant to joke not home. Hopefully that will make more sense. ;)

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    1. LoL Es May, this cracked me up. I took the chance and asked him anyway. I told him you said he might leave me at home too LoL

      His answer? .... apparently I have to listen to both! Talk about confusing LoL. I said to him "so I have to listen to The Boss too? He's the only other man I have to listen to?" "Yep" LoL

      I'm hoping kitty keeps holding her own for quite a while yet. Almost made it through the first week back at work. Hasn't been too bad, but I'm exhausted! LoL

      Hugs,
      Roz

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  20. Roz,

    I hope work went well yesterday. Its hard to get back into the swing.

    Sorry to hear about the earthquake.

    I always have to be early for appointments, rather than stress about being late.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    1. Thank you Ronnie, it is hard getting back in the swing of things. Almost made it through the first week. The days feel long and I'm exhausted LoL

      I'm so glad I seem to be in such good company stressing about appointments. The earthquake was definitely not fun and has me a little on edge.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  21. I think the 'pick up line' was adorable, cheesy and all. :)

    I'm so happy to hear your cat is doing better, yay! So nice to get that good news from the doctor.

    Old habits die hard, and I've come to realize that they will always sneak back in with TTWD some way or another. Maybe not often, but it will happen. Just try and be aware of it, and maybe talk to him about it when you're in that mood? I know it's easier said than done, because when I'm in a non submissive mood, I'd rather smack colin upside the head than talk to him, lol.

    I hope getting back into reality is a smooth transition for the both of you, and things start looking up soon. :) I bet they will!

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    1. Thank you Kenzie :) I loved that line LoL. Honestly, Rick is soo good at them .. and not all cheesy :)

      I really hope kitty continues to hold her own like this for some time to come.

      Those old habits do sneak up from time to time don't they, but you are right. Being aware of it is the key. Smacking Colin upside the head may not be the best idea LoL ... but I agree. Much rather that than talk to him in those moments. So much better to talk to them about how we are feeling though.

      Almost got through the first week back to work :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  22. Good luck with your kitty Roz. They really become part of the family don't they? Glad you weren't too affected by the earthquake. That has to be scary.
    And good luck with getting back to work. Take care!

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  23. Hi Zoe, thank you so much :) Fingers crossed our baby continues to hold her own for some time yet.

    We have managed to make it through the first week of getting back to normal routine and work ok. Now I'm exhausted and ready for the weekend LoL

    Hugs,
    Roz

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