Sunday 18 August 2013

The Bad .. The Ugly .. and The Boss

Recently I have talked about earthquakes and the fact that Rick and I are going through a bit of a rough patch and have put certain aspects of our dynamic on hold while we work though these issues.

Sorry but this post isn't much different.  If you've had enough of hearing about all of that (I'm actually bored with it myself!) please feel free to skip this post.  Oh, there is some good news if you can bear with me :)

We are working through things and are slowly regaining both confidence in our roles and trust.  It feels as though we are moving forward and putting the incident behind us.  A number of people commented on my previous post that it seems we have not actually put our dynamic on hold.  I hadn't really thought about it that way but I guess that is true.  A lot of the structure remains in place and many of our rules are being loosely observed.

Most of the rules are in place for a good reason and are things that matter to us. They are things I do out of love and respect and therefore I am continuing to observe them.  Others, however are in place more to reinforce our roles, such as asking permission for certain things.  These rules have been taken off the table for now along with role affirmation and consequences.

Putting some aspects of the dynamic on the back burner has been good for us.  It has allowed us to just focus on us and on reconnecting.  We are taking things slowly and I hope that we will come out of this even stronger.

It's fair to say that last week was the week from hell, which has also meant little time to just focus on us.  We had some serious external issues to deal with as well as work issues.

Did I mention earthquakes earlier?  I did?  Our week from hell culminated in another 6.6 earthquake Friday afternoon, a month after the earlier big quake.  Its epicentre was in the same place and we had been having constant aftershocks during the month from the previous quake, although we weren't feeling many of them.

This one was even more scary as, unlike the first one, it was during the week so we were in the city at work.  Fortunately Rick and I were together when it hit.  We were out on the street at the time making our way back to work which made it even more scary.  All cars on the roads around us at the time immediately hit the brakes and stopped.  It was Erie.

There was no major damage or injury, although there has been substantial damage in the towns closer to the epicentre, but the scene was pretty chaotic.  Traffic immediately jammed with people trying to get ot of the city and we were evacuated from buildings etc.  There were people everywhere and emergency sirens blaring and vehicle's galore.  The rest of Friday night also saw a number of fairly large aftershocks, some not much smaller than the original quake.

Now we go through another round of aftershocks from this quake although again, we haven't felt that many of them.  I probably made it sound more dramatic than it was.  Still, it was a scary experience and I am unnerved and on high alert praying that this swarm of activity would just stop.


Ok ... now I have gotten the doom and gloom off my chest, onto the good part :)

Although Friday was an extremely difficult day it did have a silver lining.  Those of you who have read here for a while may recall that Rick is a huge Bruce Springsteen fan.  The Boss is his absolute idol.  You may also recall that Bruce is currently in the middle of a massive world tour.  We expected that he would play some concerts 'down under' sometime early this year.  Australia was a certainty, but little ole NZ not so much.  We waited with baited breath when the Australian tour dates were announced last year to see if NZ was on the schedule.  It was a possibility given the scale of the tour.

Our hopes were dashed.  Tour dates for Australia were announced but no NZ concerts.  Rick was so disappointed, as was I as thanks to Rick, I have become a fan also.  I also wanted this so badly for him.  Travelling to Australia for a show there just wasn't an option for us.  The Australian dates occurred during March this year.

In the early hours of Friday morning an announcement was made that Bruce would again be touring down under in March 2014 and guess what .... this time a date in NZ has been confirmed!  We had no clue before the announcement that he would be returning to Australia, let alone NZ!  I think we are both still in shock!

Rick and I are both so excited.  I am so thrilled that he will get to see his idol.  It truly is a dream come true for him.  Rick has seen Bruce a number of years ago on a previous tour here.  However, he says his dream was to get to see him again and with me at his side this time.  How sweet is that!

Rick will be going to see some some of this



I will too but if you ask me he also hasn't got a bad body, especially for his age :)


bruce springsteen goes shirtless shows off fit body in spain 14


55 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry about the earthquakes, I'm sure that must be very scary. We don't get earthquakes here but we do get tornadoes and I hate them. We've never had one rip through our neighborhood but the scariness when there is a possibility is still real. So I'm sure your not over dramatizing it at all.

    That's so cool you get to see Bruce together. I'm sure it will be a fun night and one to always remember!
    Kim

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    1. Thank you Kim :)

      We are used to earthquakes, but not this magnitude and with so many aftershocks so it is pretty nerve wracking. t's more the randomness of it and not knowing what it's going to turn into. I can't even image a tornado! We never used to get them here, but in more recent years some areas of the country have had them.

      We are so excited about Bruce. It was so unexpected. He puts on an amazing show so I know it will definitely be a fun night we will always remember :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  2. I really, really hope your earthquakes stop and give you all some peace. Being on hold, just chillin' and seeing how things go is fine. And i know you'll both love seeing the Boss!

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    1. Thank you PK,

      Oh I hope so too, it is pretty nerve wracking! Taking a break from some aspects of our dynamic has been good for us. It's allowed us to just focus on 'us' and reconnecting. We are feeling so much more connected now and slowly regaining confidence and trust.

      So excited about the Boss! He puts on such an amazing show I know it will be awesome :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  3. I'm sorry about the earthquakes. Mother Nature is quite powerful at times. I hope it eases soon. And how exciting that you will be able to see the Boss and fulfill a dream. :-)

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    1. Thanks Terps :)

      Mother nature sure is powerful! I hope it does too, it's pretty nerve wracking. We are used to quakes, but not this magnitude and with so many aftershocks. It's funny, Mother Nature is handing us these earthquakes to deal with on one hand, yet blessing us with amazing weather, especially for winter!

      We are so excited to be able to see the Boss, especially after the earlier disappointment :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  4. Ooh, we don't have earthquakes here, but they sound absolutely terrifying.

    Glad you guys have something to look forward to!
    Even though waiting is not my strong point, I think that it's cool to have and event like that to keep in the back of your mind and refer to as something to look forward to whenever you need a pick-me-up!

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    1. Thank you Lil :)

      As I've said to the others, we are used to earthquakes, but not this magnitude with this many aftershocks. it is very unnerving! They are definitely scary at the time!

      Oh yes I agree. We are so excited that we will be able to see the Boss after all and it is so great to have that to look forward to. Pre sales start tomorrow! :) Waiting is definitely not my strong point either. A fact that often gets me in trouble LoL

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  5. You guys will love seeing Bruce! He really does give a fantastic concert. So happy he is coming to NZ!

    Good luck with the earthquakes, real and within your relationship. Hopefully everything will calm down for you and you will have solid earth beneath your feet again.

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    1. Thank you Zoe :)

      We are so excited! Bruce does put on an amazing show so I know it's going to be awesome! pre sales start tomorrow!

      Oh I so hope everything calms soon as far as the earthquakes go. We are feeling so much more connected now and taking things slow and regaining confidence in our roles and trust.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  6. The earthquakes sound horribly scary, I'm so glad you were with Rick when Friday's quake happened.

    Very happy that Springsteen will be coming to NZ so the two of you can see him! What a wonderful surprise.

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    1. Thank you Meg :)

      We are used to quakes here, but not that magnitude and with so many aftershocks. I am so glad we were together for that one! It's all unnerving.

      We are so excited that we will be able to see the Boss, especially after the earlier disappointment. It was a very wonderful surprise. Totally unexpected.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  7. Roz, I so wish mother nature would calm herself down for you. Thank goodness Rick was there!

    Enjoy the concert!!!

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    1. Thank you HS :)

      I so hope we see an end to all of this soon! It is rather unnerving having so many. We are used to them, but not this magnitude and so many aftershocks. I am so glad we were together at the time!

      We are so excited about the concert. Something to look forward to!

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  8. Hi Roz, sorry to hear the earthquakes are still rumbling on and being so scary.
    Going to see the Boss, yea! Enjoy the anticipation as much as the concert.
    hugs
    DF

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    1. Thank you DF :)

      I so hope it will calm down soon! We are so excited about the Boss! It was such surprise. Oh yes, the build up to the actual event is part of the fun! :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  9. I pray the earthquakes stop too. I have friends in NZ and i watch their FB posts regularly... and i worry!

    And watching a concert together is definitely awesome!!

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    1. Thanks Fondles :)

      I hope your friends aren't in the quake zone. I so hope it all settles soon!

      We are so looking forward to the concert. He puts on such an amazing show and Rick is a huge fan.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  10. Aside from those earthquakes (ugh!), it sounds like you're in a way better place I'm happy for you! There's nothing wrong with taking a rest, whatever is good for your relationship is what's right. And glad you guys get to see the Boss in concert next year that's awesome! :)

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    1. Thank you Kay :)

      We are in a better place. We are feeling much more connected and are slowly regaining confidence and trust. We are taking this slowly and moving forward.

      So excited about the Boss. It will be awesome to see him together. He really is Rick's idol.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  11. The earthquakes sound horrible, but you two seem to be working through everything pretty well from the sounds of it. Happy to read this!

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    1. Thanks Julia :)

      The earthquakes are pretty unnerving .. that's for sure! We are working through things, although life keeps getting in the way! We are feeling much more connected and slowly regaining confidence and trust.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  12. Hi Roz!
    I totally know how you feel about the ground shaking. I live in Southern California and those things scare me to death! I HATE THEM!!!! I am such a freak I don't allow my kids to have anything over their beds. Hang in there Roz!

    As for your week from hell...it sounds like you guys are working on things and moving in the right direction. I think it's good that you guys are keeping with the foundation and sticking to the basic rules. Keep your head up and have faith in your relationship that you'll get through it.

    Subrina <3

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    1. Thank you Subrina :)

      Earthquakes are awful aren't they? I hate them too. It's the randomness of them and fear of the unknown.

      We are slowly working through things and yes, the foundation is still very much in place. We are taking things slowly and are regaining trust and confidence. I'm hoping we will come out of this even stronger.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  13. hi Roz, I was thinking about you on Friday :( hope all is OK with you. I wish NZ would settle down a wee bit - you watch the next thing it will be the volcanos up here going off :(
    Ive seen teh Boss a few times in the UK - fantastic. So glad you and Rick are going to see him :)
    Glad you and Rick are hanging in there.
    Big hugs
    Thinking of you
    Kiwi xxx

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    1. Thank you Kiwi :)

      Thank you so much too for the support you have given us through this time. I really appreciate it. I so wish things would settle down too. Oh lord, heaven help us if the volcanos start up!

      We are slowly working through things and regaining confidence and trust. I'm hoping we will come out of this even stronger.

      So excited about the Boss. He really is Rick's idol and it will be so awesome to see him together. You lucky thing seeing him four times!

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  14. Gosh you guys need a break. I am so happy you will get to see Bruce. Maybe that is the first sign that 'Lots' of things will be turning around.

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    1. Thank you Minelle :)

      We so do need a break! LoL. Lots of other life dramas to deal with as well as everything else right now!

      I so hope you are right that the news of the concert is a sign of things turning around!

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  15. Hey Roz, I haven't been around much but I did read your last several post and have been thinking of you. Brice and I have been to hell and back in our marriage and survived stronger than ever! You and Rick can too!

    So happy y'all get to see The Boss!

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    1. Thank you Betsy :)

      We are working through things and slowly regaining confidence and trust and moving forward. I'm hoping we will come out of this even stronger.

      We are so excited about the the Boss. It will be so great to get to see Rick's idol together. He puts on an amazing show and I know it will be a fantastic night!

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  16. Hey Roz...so sorry you are dealing with more of the earthquake nonsense...dang...Mother Nature sure seems to be having a temper tantrum doesn't she!

    Woohoo and congrats on the Boss coming to NZ! He does give an awesome performance!

    Sending lots of prayers and positive energy that Mother Nature calms her tush down! Stay safe!

    Blessings,
    Cat

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    1. Thank you Cat :)

      Oh she sure is having a temper tantrum! Thank you for the prayers :)

      We are so excited about the Boss, especially after the previous disappointment. I'm so glad we will get to see him together. He truly is Rick's idol.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  17. Oh Roz I'm sorry you guys are still dealing with earthquakes :(

    Ok I have to admit I really don't know who the boss is, probably if I hear a song I would recognise it, but in terrible with names of bands or singers, my kids are forever telling me off for getting it wrong lol

    Sounds like you guys are doing well, taking slow but gradual steps :) I'm sure this experience will you both so much stronger :)

    Hugs honey, I hope those earthquakes calm down soon x

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    1. Thank you Missy :)

      We are slowly regaining confidence and trust and moving forward. Slow steps is the right thing for us I think right now and I think taking certain aspects of DD off the table for now has been good for us. It's allowed us to focus on reconnecting and on 'us'. In between life dramas that is!

      What? you don't know the Boss? Shame on you Missy! Just kidding. Actually, I'm just like you. I know the songs, but half the time not who the artist is. Born in the USA ring any bells? :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  18. Ahhhhhhhhh yes, the let down of 2012 for Rick. I remember it like it was yesterday...and you, well you were in 'Scoogeville' back then. Barney back then was struggling mightily with putting on his HoH hat- or toque as the case was here, being winter. You and Rick helped us out greatly during that time.

    I can't help with the earthquake factor, but I will remind you how disappointed and frustrated Rick and you both were about The Boss(and I was for not having one *wink*) look at how things have changed and those memories are just that memories. I know that because of your commitment to each other, these summer/winter months will be that for you too. Memories of a time when things weren't going the way you wanted to..although things that you can control are getting better. Just like waiting for the Boss, you may have to wait for THE BOSS :)

    love ya
    willie

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    1. Hey Willie :)

      LoL Seems like yesterday to me too. It was definitely the letdown of 2012 and, yes .. I was in Scroogeville back then.

      You are so right. My how things have changed :)

      I honestly don't mind waiting for both the Boss and THE BOSS LoL. In the case of one, the build up and anticipation is all part of the experience. The other ... well, it has to be right for both of us. We are taking things slowly and I think that's the right way to go. We are feeling much more connected and regaining confidence and trust, despite life dramas also getting in the way.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  19. Roz, I'm so glad that you and Rick are safe through all the quakes, it must be so scary I can't imagine. :( I do hope things start to get better for you, I'm sure the stress of the earthquakes isn't helping one bit. Maybe Bruce can help though? I think he's great, too. I'm excited that you two will get to see him after all!! ((((big hugs)))))

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    1. Thank you Riley :)

      We are working through things and regaining confidence and trust. You're right, the quakes and other life dramas aren't helping, but we are taking things slowly, which I think is the right thing right now. I'm hoping we will come out of this even stronger.

      We are so excited about Bruce. Definitely now have something to look forward to! It will be so great to see him together. He really is Rick's idol

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  20. Roz, I have to apologize. I have known you for a long time. Since you came to LDD I think. I don't think I ever knew that you had a blog. I mean I always add people to my list regularly, I know about your forum, but somehow I missed you blog. I'm sorry for that. I feel like a selfish friend for never searching you out more.

    I'm sorry to hear about your recent troubles. I'm glad you will get the joy of seeing Bruce! I love him, always have even when I was little and it was cool for someone my age to think so. My daughter is 14 and loves to find new music, (meaning old music) I mean she is awesome to me because she is not stuck on the new mainstream crap. (wait did I say that?) Anyway, She listens to everything and I do mean everything.
    her dad has her listen to a Tenessee Blue Grass band one day and I have her listening to Bruce, or Meatloaf, or Fleetwood the next ;)

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    1. Hi Pooky, Welcome! Thank you so much for reading and commenting.

      Um, ops, I'm sorry, I think it's my turn to apologise as there must be another Roz I wasn't aware of. I don't have a forum and have rarely been on the LDD network. The Roz you are thinking of isn't me ... sorry :)

      It's great to meet another Bruce fan! Rick is a huge fan, Bruce is his idol and I have become a fan as well. It's is going to be so awesome to get to see him together.

      I think it's great your daughter listens to such a wide range of music, especially if she likes Bruce :) LoL. I think you were right with mainstream crap LoL. Love Meatloaf and Fleetwood Mac too. Sounds like we have similar tastes in music.

      Well, we can't do much about the earthquakes, but we are in a much better place and slowly working through things and regaining confidence and trust.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  21. I can't imagine being in an earthquake. So glad you were with Rick for this one.

    So excited for you and Rick. You guys will have an amazing time!!!

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    1. Thank you Sarah :)

      We are pretty used to quakes, but not this magnitude with this number of aftershocks, which are still continuing ... but we aren't feeling many of them. This particular one was scary and I'm so glad we were together at the time.

      We are so excited too! Especially after the earlier disappointment. Bruce is Rick's idol, he is a huge fan so it will be so awesome to get to see him together. It will be an amazing concert. He always puts on a fantastic show!

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  22. Wow. Can't imagine going through those earthquakes. So happy to read you are safe and well. Sometimes taking a break from TTWD can serve as a re-connection point period.
    It made me smile to hear about the concert! Its lovely when we want something like that for our partner and it happens.

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    1. Hi Bleuame, Welcome! Thank you so much for reading and commenting.

      Taking a break from some aspects of TTWD has been good for us. It has allowed to focus on us and on reconnecting. We are taking things slowly and are moving forward and slowly regaining confidence and trust.

      We are so excited about the concert. Bruce is Rick's idol and it's so awesome that we will be able to see him together after all. You are so right, I really want to to for myself, but mostly I am thrilled for Rick.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  23. Jealous...love The Boss, seeing him live would be amazing.

    I think rather than see it as being a break, its more adjusting and adapting perhaps? because elements are still there, sometimes change is needed.

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    1. Hi Tori, Welcome! Thank you so much for reading and for your comment.

      I really appreciate your comment because I wasn't seeing it that way. I guess you are right. perhaps it is more a period of adjustment and adapting. Taking some aspects off the table for now has been good for us. it has allowed us to focus on us and on reconnecting.

      We are taking things slowly and moving forward and I think when we decide to bring the full dynamic back it will probably be different to before.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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    2. I forgot to add. It's great to meet another Boss fan! He is Rick's idol. He has seen him once years ago and it will be so awesome to see him together. He always puts on a fantastic show!

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  24. Hi Roz, I'm sorry about the earthquakes :( It must be so scary.... On a lighter note, I'm glad that you going to see BS in concert. I've never seen him but I would like to. hugs :)

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    1. Thank you Saturn :)

      We are fairly used to quakes, but not that magnitude or number of aftershocks. That one was scary!

      We are so excited about Bruce! Rick is such a huge fan and Bruce is his idol. It's going to be so awesome to get to see him together. I'm loving finding all the other fans out there in our community :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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    1. Thank you so much AB :)

      So excited about the concert and know it will be amazing. He always puts on a fantastic show :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  26. I hope you can always feel free to post about the good and the bad, no matter how ongoing or long it takes to get through. It's a process, and sadly, we don't from many things over night. {{{HUGS}}} I am so sorry that another earth quake has started things over for you guys. I do not think you were being dramatic at all. You were overwhelmed, so much going on, and watching everyone break at the same time would be something right out of a movie. You need time to process all that.

    And I love that Rick will get too see the Boss. How cool, and with you by his side. LOL Hmm, interesting photo you put up there. lol
    {{{HUGS}}}

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    1. Hi Es May,

      Thank you so much. You are so sweet, this made me smile :) We are so excited about getting to see the Boss together. Rick is such a huge fan and I am so thrilled for him ... and for myself LoL

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  27. I'm so late to the fray with my comment on this that the moment has probably passed and it's likely that only you will see it. However, I want to say it anyway.

    You said,

    "Recently I have talked about ......... the fact that Rick and I are going through a bit of a rough patch and have put certain aspects of our dynamic on hold while we work though these issues.

    Sorry but this post isn't much different. If you've had enough of hearing about all of that (I'm actually bored with it myself!) please feel free to skip this post."

    Well no. The last type of post that I feel the urge to "skip" is one that shares the reality of the fact that DD isn't always a "cure-all" that conforms to a 'text book' ideal.

    I read a lot of blogs, articles, forum posts and comments that tell (I was going to say "heart warming", but that sounds a little sarcastic when I don't mean it to) success stories of the magic that DD can work on a relationship. However, all too often when a couple discovers that individuality means that, just because they've read something that says "If you do (a) and (b), the result will *always* be (c)", it doesn't necessarily work that way, they write a final piece describing how they "failed" and they disappear. While the 'happy' stories certainly have their place and encouragement is never a bad thing, I also think that it's the not so successful stories that hold some of the greatest help and value for the rest of us.

    What others need to know is that TTWD is not about following some 'template' based on things that happened to work for another couple in another place, but is about the two unique individuals in their own unique relationship finding their own special way. We need to know that when the 'standard' concepts don't fit our needs, we haven't "failed" and can still find *our own* way back to the dream. It's posts like yours that give this reassurance.

    (the other) Ros

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    1. Hi Ros

      Welcome! Thank you for visiting and for your comment. I'm so glad you did. I didn't originally realise there were two of us and I hope I haven't stepped on your toes.

      I really appreciate your comments and agree entirely. Ttwd is not a 'cure' and a one size fits all approach cannot be adopted to it. Each couple needs to find their own path and what works for them.

      We all have struggles along the way and I agree being able to hear of others experiences with their struggles and of overcoming these struggles is such a huge help and reassuring.

      I always endeavour to share our whole journey here, not just the 'good' bits and hope that by doing so it may, at least in some small way, help or encourage others on their journey.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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