Sunday 14 July 2013

Checking In

I'm  not exactly sure where I am going with this post.  I just feel a need to connect with my blog family. So ... here I am :)

As I write I am listening to the howling wind and hail falling outside.  We are in the middle of another icy spell with gale force damaging winds, rain/hail/sleet and a temperature only a couple of notches above zero degrees Celsius.

But .. you don't really want to hear about the weather so I'll move on :)

Last week was a real roller coaster of emotions for me.  I'll admit, losing Bas has hit me a lot harder than I actually thought it might.  Of course, we were also all praying for little Emily and Ana's cousin's baby at the same time.  It all felt a bit much.  I am so thrilled and relieved that Emily is now home with her family.

I am incredibly fortunate that Rick understands just how much this community and the people within in mean to me.  How attached we become to our blog friends.  I am fortunate too that he is personally involved in this blog, and in this community. In fact, every post is approved by him prior to publication.

When I told him about Bas' passing he was there for me.  Ready with a cuddle and soothing words.  I know he also felt sad.  As I mentioned, he reads every post I write and also sees the comments.  I know he looked forward to reading comments from Bas as much as I did.  In fact, there were times he would bring a comment from Bas to my attention accompanied with a 'look' and sometimes the words "there you go", or "that's you told" LoL.  An HoH's unite thing maybe? LoL

Last weekend I felt the need to connect with some blog friends and also wanted to check in with people and see how they were feeling so I logged in to chat.  A number of you saw me there and messaged me to see how I was.  You know who you are and I want you to know how grateful I am to you for reaching out to me.  It was a great source of comfort to turn to my blog family and connect with some of you.  I ended up chatting with a number of friends into the wee small (or not so small!) hours of Sunday morning  Again, Rick understood my need to connect and allowed me to stay on line so late.  Sunday we went for a drive and visited a favourite cafe.

When Monday arrived I was completely exhausted, both physically and mentally.  I think it was a combination of not enough sleep and all the emotion.  I went to work and had a very emotional day (not that my colleagues knew it) and was also unable suddenly to cope with tasks I usually handle with relative ease day in day out.

Rick came to my rescue and took me out to lunch.  He was super gentle with me and supportive and soothing.  He let me talk about Bas, about Emily, about anything I needed to get off my chest.  I was able to get through the rest of afternoon a lot better.  We both knew one thing I desperately needed was rest so he made sure I was in bed a lot earlier most nights last week.

The rest of the week was progressively better as I slowly was able to get back onto a more even keel emotionally.  Last night we had a quiet night in enjoying each others company, listening to music etc and then making some music of our own later on :) Rick even decided to forgo role affirmation.  Yay me!

I am so thankful and grateful to my wonderful loving man.  He truly was my rock over the last week.  He was supportive and very gentle. He allowed me to express my thoughts and feelings and generally talk things through.

The other day I thanked him for being there for me and told him I wanted him to know how much it had meant to me.  His response was that he was glad, that was what he wanted to hear because that is what Daddy's do for their little girls.  I was also curious so I asked if he thought I have become more open and vulnerable and he said yes and again, that was what he is here for.  To encourage and cherish my vulnerability and also to protect me.

I am also so thankful and grateful to all of you.  My blog family.  It never ceases to amaze me just how wonderful this community is and how we support each other.  I never imagined how closely connected I could become to people I have never met in person.

50 comments:

  1. It is so beautiful when we can become vulnerable and open to someone, and they in return cherish it and fight to protect it. :) I have always thought Rick one wonderful guy, and what a way to prove it to you this week. {{{HUGS}}} I am so thankful that you are so blessed in such a man, that he not only helps guide you, but is there to help you when life becomes a bit more than you can handle at the moment. And to understand how important Bas was to all of us, and not making light of you missing a friend you never got to meet, he truly is a gem I am so glad you have. :) Watching you guys blossom like this really will be hope for those who are still struggling to find some footing in DD/TTWD, whatever one calls it. :) Thank you so much for sharing. :) {{{HUGS}}}

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    1. Hi Es May,

      Thank you so much for your wonderful words, your comment really made me smile. I am so very lucky to have him :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  2. I am glad you received loving support and understanding when you needed it from your man and from your friends. This is a dear community, one I'm glad to be a part of. Hugs, Terps

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    1. Hi Terps,

      Thank you so much. This community never ceases to amaze me and I am so glad I am a part of it too.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  3. Says something about the power of words...that we can all feel so connected, just through their power. Of course, the fact that we can share something 'special' to us....helps too!
    hugs abby

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    1. Hi Abby,

      It really does. After all, words are all we have ... plus, as you say, the fact we share something in common that is special to us.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  4. I am glad that the week has improved and you and Rick had fun. I love this community , it's great to be part of something special. I treasure how we are all there for each other
    love Jan.xx

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    1. Hi Jan,

      I am definitely back on an even keel again, thanks to the wonderful, loving support from Rick and from my blog family. This community is wonderful isn't it? I too treasure how we come together and support each other.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  5. I'm just starting out in the blog world but I completely understand where your coming from. You grow attached to people and they become your blog family. I have read a lot about Bas and I wish I would have been in the blogging community sooner. Have a great day!

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    1. Hi Gypsy Rose,

      A very warm welcome! Thank you so much for reading and for your comment.

      This community truly is amazing and I for one am so glad to be a part of it. Bas was definitely an amazing and caring friend to us all.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  6. Hi Roz,
    Letting Rick be strong and protective for you has clearly helped you with this emotional time. I glad you are finding the support you need from close by and those about the wider community. As some great playwriter said - if music be the food of love play on - sounds like you're getting the right kind of music too.
    hugs
    DF

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    1. Hi DF,

      Thank you. I'm so glad I was able to lean on Rick, he really did get me though, along with my wonderful blog family :)

      I love the quote and yes, definitely the right kind of music :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  7. So wonderful when you have a loving, supportive man that understands your many moods and feelings. You are blessed.

    Me too.

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    1. Hi Sunny,

      Thank you. It is a wonderful feeling isn't it, and even better when we are able to lean on them and let them support us. I'm so glad you are also blessed with such a supportive hubby :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  8. Temps close to zero degrees Celsius? I can't. I couldn't. I would die. I hope you're staying warm honey.

    It has been a tough week here in blog land for so many. How nice that Rick was there for you.

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    1. Hi Bonnie,

      Thank you :)

      Thankfully the weather has now improved and warmed up somewhat from what it was. I hope it lasts a while!

      Rick was an amazing source of support to me. He really got me through.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  9. Roz, you know I want your weather, so I won't mention it. ;-)

    You also know I think Rick rocks, so still moving on... Except, after reading this, now he rocks even more!

    Bas. Hugs, Roz, and a big smile (don't forget - he's in his heaven watching over blogland, pro lurker that he is).

    Emily, Ana's baby cousin, Lisa, and so many others who need prayers for healing, strength and recovery - praying right along with you.

    It's really nice to have friends you haven't met. :-)

    Hugs,

    Irishey

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    1. Hi Irishey,

      Thank you :)

      Well, happy to say the weather has improved since and has got a fair bit warmer. I've got my fingers crossed it will last a while!

      Rick definitely rocks! LoL (he loved that btw :) I love thinking of Bas watching over us, still lurking.

      Yes, prayers are still needed and I am continuing to send prayers and healing thoughts. Wonderful news that Emily is now back home with her family.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  10. How fortunate you are. You belong to an incredible blog community and husband wherein you find acceptance, love, peace, belonging, happiness.... The list could go on and on.

    Im glad you're here and that you have Rick, although I think he's the lucky one!!

    Hugs

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    1. Hi Sarah,

      Thank you so much :) This community truly is amazing isn't it. I am so very blessed.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  11. Blogland is pretty amazing, isn't it? :)

    I am glad that you checked in...and all is well. Here is hoping we all get back to some sense of normalcy soon.

    Hugs...

    ~Lucy

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    1. Hi Lucy,

      This community never ceases to amaze me and I am so glad to be a part of it. Sending thoughts and prayers to Ryan's Mom and hope you enjoy your staycation.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  12. Hey Roz...so sorry you are enduring that nasty weather...been there, done that...don't like it. :(

    Very happy you have your awesome Rick!

    Isn't blog land wonderful! Just remember, Bas is watching so we had better watch the tears and gloomy faces. ;)

    Joining in sending prayers and healing energy for all in blog land.

    Keep reaching for Rick and letting him support and protect you.

    Hugs and Blessings,
    Cat

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    1. Hi Cat,

      Thank you :)

      Well, I can't really complain about the winter compared to what you guys in the northern hemisphere endure.

      I am so very blessed to have Rick and my blog friends. This community always amazes me. I love the thought that Bas is watching over us .. no more tears and gloomy faces :)

      Continuing to send prayers to all.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  13. Aww I'm so glad you had your rock right there to support you and give you exactly what you needed. Hopefully this week keeps getting better :)
    <3 Lily

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    1. Hi Lily,

      Thank you :) He truly is my rock and was an amazing source of support and I am now back on an even keel.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  14. Stay warm! I'll send you some of our sunshine. It's 90+ degrees here today! I can't remember what that equals in Celsius at the moment, lol :)
    Hugs,
    Elle

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    1. Hi Elle,

      Thank you! I'll definitely take some of your sunshine! Actually, the weather has since improved a lot and it's got a fair bit warmer. I'm hoping it will last a while!

      Oh my gosh, I hope you are managing to stay cool!

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  15. Rick rocks and im so glad he was there for you Roz :)we get through these emotional rollercoasters and rough times so much easier when we have someone there to help soothe and support us. Im glad for you.
    Urggh that weather! Poor you. Sunny but cold up here. I hope your weather just disappears and goes away - and not head north as well. Poor you. Stay warm and safe.
    I love blogland. I love everyone here - we all just look out for each other and its so comforting and exciting and I just love it. I know how you feel about wanting to reach out to fellow bloggers. Im longing to but I cant post anything at the moment - blogger wont let me :(
    nevermind.
    Stay safe, talk soon
    hugs kiwi xx

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    1. Hi Kiwi,

      Thank you :) It is so much easier when you have someone to support you and Rick definitely got me though. He was an incredible source of support.

      As you probably know, the weather thankfully did take a hike here and it has been so much better, even some nice blue sky days and a fair bit warmer. I hope you are staying warm too!

      This community is amazing isn't it? I see you did manage to post :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  16. Hi, Roz! I am so happy for you that Rick took such good care of you and were able to connect with some people that helped you through as well. There is nothing quite like having support in the times we really need it. Things always seem tougher to manage when we are exhausted and hurting for other people. It seems like things are hopefully on the upswing, and I'm glad you posted :) Stay warm friend!

    Hugs,
    Marie

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    1. Hi Marie,

      Thank you :) Rick was an incredible source of support and knew exactly what I needed from him. I'm so glad I was able to let him in and help.

      The support from my blog friends was amazing as well. It really warms my heart how we care about each other and are there for each other, even though we have never met.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  17. Hi Roz! I think it is pretty neat how blogland pulls together for each other. It's also very cool to see how sensitive Rick was to how you were feeling and how he went out of his way to take care of you. I'm sorry about the ucky weather. Stay warm and find a cozy, comfy place with your guy.

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    1. Hi Susie,

      This community never ceases to amaze me in the way we al pull together to support each other.

      I am so very lucky to have Rick. he was an amazing source of support and just knew what I needed. Fortunately, the weather has since improved a lot and it's got a fair bit warmer. I've got my fingers crossed in will last a while!

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  18. I hope that you are feeling better Roz.

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    1. Hi Lil,

      Thank you :) I am definitely back on a more even keel now, thanks to the wonderful support from Rick and my blog family.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  19. Roz, your weather sounds horrible! I do not do well with cold. We are in the warmer summer months here and I am not looking forward to our icy months!
    I've thought quite a bit about Bas while I've been away as well, Blogland is really something special isn't it?
    It's beautiful to see how Rick was there for you and that's really what it's all about - You said he was there to "To encourage and cherish my vulnerability and also to protect me." and that is such a beautiful gift :)
    Hope you get a break in that nasty weather, it's going to be 91 degrees here (32 C)? and I'll send some warm thoughts your way.

    -Emi

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    1. Hi Emi,

      I hate the cold! Fortunately, the weather has since improved heaps and it has got a fair bit warmer. Still fairly cool though.

      This community really is wonderful and never ceases to amaze me.

      I am so very lucky to have Rick. He truly was my rock and got me though. He just knew exactly what I needed from him. it is truly an amazing gift.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  20. We all are so very lucky to have this wonderful place where are hearts are how we are recognized. The benefits are glorious. The support we enjoy from each other can defy words. Rick is an amazing man. Just think- a lot of people, let alone the partner who means all to us, could trivialize what we all see here in bloland.
    Take care dear!

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    1. Hi Minelle,

      Thank you :)

      This community truly is amazing isn't it? It never ceases to amaze me how we all come together to support each other. I am so lucky that Rick understands what being a part of this community means to me. I knew he too feels a connection to everyone here.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  21. Maybe you can snuggle in front of a fire with your terrible weather. Hot chocolate sounds good to.

    Rick is quite the guy and I am glad you doing so well. So nice.

    Our corner of blogland is a pretty cool place.

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    1. Hi Zoe,

      Oh yes, fire and hot chocolate .. definitely! Actually, thankfully the weather has improved heaps since and it has got a fair bit warmer, though still fairly cool.

      i am so fortunate to have Rick. He really is my rock. This community never ceases to amaze me.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  22. Roz, you are a wonderful, generous person with a loving heart. I'm glad you have Rick to watch over you and to give you guidance when you are becoming exhausted. I hope you are feeling stronger, better, and more able to handle things. Be gentle with yourself.

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    1. Hi Ana,

      Thank you so much for your lovely words. I am very fortunate to have Rick, he truly is my rock. I am feeling so much better and I hope that you are too.

      Sending thoughts and prayers for your cousin's little one.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  23. I'm glad Rick is there for you, Roz.

    Sorry to hear about the weather, but what's better than cold to cuddle under a quilt with your darling husband?

    Hugs

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    1. Hi Viola,

      Thank you :)

      I am so very fortunate to have Rick. You are so right. There is nothing better than to snuggle up together on a cold night! Fortunately, the weather has now improved and it has got a fair bit warmer, though still fairly cool.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  24. Well I am glad he is there for you, and I have to admit, I was hit harder by Bas's last post than I even thought possible. I had DH read it too.
    Thinking of you. :)

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    1. Hi Julia,

      Thank you :) I am so lucky to have Rick, and that he understands this community and what it means to me. He was so supportive and loving and got me though.

      Bas' last post was simply amazing wasn't it?

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  25. HI Roz, It's Pippi here!
    It's funny, the older I get the more vulnerable I seem to be getting. Knowing that life isn't always the magical kingdom I once believed it to be has become a stark reality. I have never been able to physically share my fears, concerns or heartaches to my loved ones because I've always found it extremely hard to become vulnerable to the people in my life. However, the love, comfort, support and amazing strength that I found in my blog friends has allowed me to change, to grow and most importantly to share and to give my heart and to open my soul to them ! What an amazing change I have found in myself now!! I turn to them for so much now, and in turn, through my learning to share with them, I have increased by leaps and bounds my ability to share my thoughts with my dear Hoh, who has been patiently waiting for years. I am glad you have found support here as well. I am soo glad you have your Rick. For it is this lost love that often causes so much horrific grief, but, thanks be to God, there is always Greater love to lift us and to hold us. My prayers are with you, and I am always a PM away!!! lol. xo. Pippi

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    1. Hi Pippi, Welcome! Thank you for reading and for your lovely comment.

      I am so glad you have found such wonderful support here. It truly is an amazing community isn't it? So happy to hear you are able to open up more with your husband. It takes time and is certainly not easy. It's something we all struggle with at times too, but it's all part of growing.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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