Monday 27 May 2013

Punishment and Reinforcing Roles

Following on from my last post, thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement in your comments.  It is never easy waiting for a punishment spanking and this was also the first in quite some time ... because I'm normally such an angel.  Oh, go with me here will you!

It has been a weekend of discipline and reconnection for us.  This also means I have not had much time for reading and commenting on posts so please accept my apologies.  I hope to find some time for a little back reading.

As I said in my previous post.  Friday morning I got up so late and was in such a hurry to get myself organised and out the door for work that I had forgotten to wear my collar (necklace), which is a rule.  It is to be worn at all times except in the shower and in bed.  On top of this, I had also been slipping recently with other rules.

The collar really does mean so much to us.  It is a symbol of us and our roles and his 'ownership' of me.  I treasure it and love wearing it.  It also reminds me of him when we are apart.  I knew he felt strongly about the collar and loves to see me wear it, but I don't know I fully understood just how much it means to him.  Well, let me say, I definitely now understand!

Friday night I spent writing lines and anticipating a punishment spanking the following night.  It had been a long time since I had written lines and it turns out I had forgotten how long they take to do - grrr.  By the time I had done all the necessary things and written the lines, there was very little time for anything else.

Saturday evening it was time to pay the piper.  Rick told me to go to the bedroom, undress, kneel and wait for him ... recently our role affirmation sessions have started this way.

Daddy I don't want to

I know you don't baby

I don't like being naked 

I know, and you know why I do it

Do we have to?  I don't want to

Yes we do.  You know you do.  Come on, off you go and do what I asked

OK, I didn't exactly comply straight away as I should have.  For some reason I always feel the need to put up some form of protest.  Perhaps not the best move, and especially when the looming spanking is punishment.

I finally went to the bedroom, followed his instructions and waited.  He came into the bedroom and remarked that it was the first time in a long while that we had a punishment to administer.  He re-iterated that we were there because I had forgotten the collar, and not consistently keeping to other rules.  He said he realised that I had forgotten my collar because I had slept in and was running so late, caused by getting to bed so late the previous night and that from now on bedtime was going to be a lot earlier.  He also said that the frequency of role affirmation would increase and that each time I am expected to be naked and kneeling waiting for him.  He wants to get to the point where I just go and prepare without him telling me to do so.  Sure thing honey ... like the lamb to the slaughter.

Next he addressed the forgotten collar.  He asked me to tell him why we have it, what does it mean to us etc.  He also asked whether I had genuinely forgotten (which I had) or whether I had just 'decided' I didn't have enough time.  He wanted to know whether perhaps I had left it deliberately in order to see what his reaction would be.  I assured him this was not the case.

Over the bed I went next.  Rick sat next to me with one had on my back and started spanking with his had.  Slowly and gently at first - oh no - a warm up!  He's not exactly big on warm ups so this is going to be bad!  He continued with his hand, increasing force all the time for a while then moved on to the leather paddle.  The blows came hard and fast and the sets were much longer in duration and more intense than usual.  It was hard to take.  He then used the wooden spoon and alternated between the paddle and spoon.

After a while he stopped and told me to kneel again.  I can't exactly remember now what he said but he told me to fetch the lines I had written for him to inspect.  I hesitated and whimpered.  One of the worse parts about the line punishment is having to present them to him.

My hesitation was not a good move!  He picked up the paddle again and asked me if I wanted more hard whacks of the paddle and that if I didn't I had better move.  I might have had trouble properly submitting to the discipline but I'm not that stupid so I fetched the lines.  He took them off me and looked at them then handed them back to me and told me to recite them ... in front of him ... yuck!  It was horrible and I felt somewhat embarrassed for some reason.

I don't know how many times I recited them but he told me to stand up and bent me over the bed again and to my horror told me to continue reciting the line and continued with the spanking. I tell you, it's not easy to do when you're butt is being blistered at the same time!  At one point I stopped reciting and received a couple of hard and fast strokes of the paddle and asked why I had stopped.  I immediately began again.  Eventually he told me I could stop reciting and landed a few more smacks with the paddle and spoon before lifting me up of the bed and drawing me into him and cuddling me.

We cuddled and kissed for a while then he suddenly pulled me back over his leg - what the! ... I thought you'd finished!  I felt him reach over to the dressing table and thought he was reaching for the implements again.  Instead, I felt the welcome cool Arnica lotion on my poor, very sore bottom.  He rubbed in the lotion and continued to rub for a while.  That was a first.  I don't think he has ever applied Arnica after a spanking before and he certainly generally doesn't rub my bottom at all.  Especially if the spanking is for punishment or discipline.

Afterwards we had a wonderful evening together.  We cooked a lovely meal, watched a bit of TV etc.  Rick continued to reinforce our roles through the evening in lots of different ways and we really were feeling our Dominant/submissive roles. Yes, even though he thought my bottom looked sore enough to apply Arnica cream after the punishment, there was some more spanking.  This time, of a different kind, buy equally ouchy.

I am glad the punishment is now over, but am even more glad that he held me accountable for my actions and also brought us back on track and me back to my squiffy place which is where I really want to be.  I'm glad that he loves me enough and that he hates us being off kilter as much as I do.

Now all I have to do is get back on track with following the rules I had been letting slip.  Easy huh?

62 comments:

  1. Hey Roz, I missed your previous post so I went back to read it along with this new one.
    I'm happy to hear all is done and you both are in a happier place.

    About the naked thing, obviously it must be humbling but I think I would dread a lot more being told to expose just my bottom.
    In a way I would feel a lot more aware of my nakedness (and impending doom) in this way.

    Hugs :)

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    1. Hi Viola,

      I'm glad it's over too! We are now in a much better place and connected.

      I absolutely hate having to undress for a spanking, it is so humbling. It also makes me feel very vulnerable .. and therefore submissive, which, of course is why he does it. I have on occasion just been told to expose my bottom half (usually, if it's just the bottom half, he does the honours LoL). For me anyway being totally naked is worse.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  2. Wow. That was some punishment. I hope the arnica helped and you are feeling better. I will say you sound like you are in a much better place and I'm happy about that.

    Lots of hugs,
    TL

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    1. Hi TL.

      Yeah, it wasn't easy, but it probably does sound 'worse' written down than in reality. The different elements of it were tough .. the kneeling, reciting lines etc.

      I am in a much better place .. feeling much more where I want to be and we are feeling connected.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  3. Oh Roz, you have my sympathy, if I forgot my bracelet I would be in trouble too,
    love Jan.xx

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    1. Thank you Jan :)

      Is you bracelet similar to my necklace? .. a symbol of your relationship and dynamic .. and like me do you 'have' to wear it all the time?

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  4. I am so happy for you Roz! That amazing feeling of reconnection after the gap distance is one of the most contented places to be. I know that for me a soft easy spanking wouldn't have gotten me to the place I wanted to be, especially after a prolonged period of feeling off kilter (Oh who am I kidding...I require intensity when it's been an hour! lol)

    hugs
    bg

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    1. Hi baby girl,

      Thank you :) The feeling of being reconnected and mostly back to where I want to be is amazing. I only wish the disconnects did happen, but unfortunately, with life getting in the way etc it does from time to time.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  5. What is it that our men have with this 'naked' thing? I have never known anything other than being naked for a spanking - and I am so glad that I have found at least one other person who is the same, as I am fine with being naked, but don't much like having to undress in front of him and then go fetch the implements. To me, that is the same as you having to kneel. Perhaps it is to put us in the right frame of mind? What do you think?

    I have to say I hate the wooden spoon (in our case a really thick walnut salad server) more than the leather paddle. That is 'slappy' and 'sharp' and 'stingy' (the three Ss) but the wooden spoon is a killer! You have all my sympathy right here and now. But, bless him, he actually rubbed your rear with arnica! The bliss of it! I've sometimes asked Starman to rub some on for me because I have been too stiff and sore to do it myself (immediately afterwards). So I am very impressed.

    Your evening sounded lovely, and it is amazing how good you feel when 'everything is right with the world' once more, isn't it?

    Hugs

    Ami

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    1. Hi Ami,

      Oh I know! I for one, hate the naked part. I feel so humbled but also vulnerable which it turn brings out my submission. That is why he mostly insists on it.

      The wooden spoon can certainly be a killer, depending on how vigorously it is applied. He surprised me by rubbing the arnica on me, it was bliss on my sore, hot bottom, and actually the first time he has done so.

      It was a wonderful evening ... afterwards! and it really gave us the connection we needed.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  6. Sigh** I don't know why but it just seemed like I was reading a post about me and StrongMan. Our dynamic isn't like that... but it is too! We have never tried Arnica. I may have to pick some up and see what that is like. :)

    Rules are a challenge... They are great to let you know how you are to behave but also difficult if you forget or just don't want to follow one. It's hard but worth it right?

    much love
    sara

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    1. Hi Sara,

      The arnica is good, and especially for any bruising that may occur.

      Rules certainly can be a challenge at times. Sometimes we just want to stomp our feet and not follow them .. but of course, it's always so much better to follow them instead.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  7. {{roz}} i'm so glad this is over and you can move on to getting back on track. phew. it sounded awful but thankfully ended well. :)

    my professor ALWAYS smooths his hands over my bottom after a spanking, maintenance or punishment. he believes that once the spanking is OVER then there's the healing and he likes to touch me and even kiss me everywhere after. we don't have that cream though, and i'm going to pick some up after reading this. :)

    i'm also always naked (or half of me is), but for a punishment, he will do half of it with my tshirt on and then once he gets into the punishment stage of things he will ask me to get completely naked and stand up, bend over with my elbows on the sofa or bed. awful stuff. i feel so vulnerable. i know what you're saying...

    anyway, i hope you have a wonderful week! i've missed you!
    m.

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    1. Thank you Maryanne :)

      I'm glad it's over too! It wasn't easy, but probably sounds 'worse' in writing than in reality. It has made us feel more connected and we are very much back on track ... although the control monster did rear it's ugly head a bit today - sigh.

      Rick doesn't usually rub my bottom after a spanking, although he does rub my back, thighs etc. The arnica cream is good, and especially if there is any bruising.

      I hate the naked part. It makes me feel so vulnerable too ... which is why he does it.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  8. I think 'our' men have been reading the same manual! I too have to be naked and kneeling...and if it is a punishment there are questions to answer first....never a warm-up tho.
    They are not easy...but the feeling after,,,is almost worth it!

    hugs abby

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    1. Hi Abby,

      I'm certainly glad I'm not the only one! I do hate the naked, kneeling part. It makes me feel so vulnerable, which of course, is why he does it. Punishments are never easy, neither is role affirmation come to think of it, but it is so worth it in the end. It keeps us so close and connected and in the right head space.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  9. Oh I hate that you had to endure that but I am happy that the two of you are back to yourselves now and all is right with the world. I hope you manage to stay that way for quite sometime.

    Hugs
    willie

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    1. Hi Willie,

      Awe thank you :)

      No, it wasn't easy, but it was so worth while in the end. It certainly did bring us closer together and more connected with our roles.

      As for staying that way ... well, the control monster did rear it's ugly head just a bit today - sigh. Thankfully, I think I have it back under control ... and without any help!

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  10. If you want the roses you gotta put up with the thorns. Glad you're back on track. :)

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    1. HI Sarah,

      You are so right. This lifestyle isn't always easy, but the difficult times often result in great closeness and growth. Without them I don't think the benefits would be as good.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  11. Ouch...Roz... it was hard reading..
    I am glad you are OK.

    Hugs,
    Mona Lisa.

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    1. Hi Mona Lisa,

      I'm sorry you found it hard to read. As I said above, it does quite often sound 'worse' in writing than in reality.

      It wasn't easy, but in the end it was so worth it as it reconnected us and re-established us in our roles.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  12. I so understand being glad he held you accountable. It is so nice to know that what is important to you is important to him and being OTK really brings that home. :) I think that is why this appeals to me so much. I am glad this is over and that you are feeling that "squiffy" feeling again. It is the best isn't it?

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    1. Hi Zoe,

      You are so right .. being held accountable lets me know the issue matters to him ... I matter to him, even if it means being OTK. There is nothing like having that reassurance. I think it's why we tend to fall apart with inconsistency.

      I am glad it's over too! LoL. It wasn't easy, but was so worth it as it reconnected us and re-established us in our roles.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  13. Roz... Just letting you know I was here and have read this and your last post. I need to read back to catch up with the rest of whatever it is you've been up to. ;-)

    I'm glad you are feeling better/happier after all of that recent tough stuff. Getting to the good place and staying there for as long as possible - that what most of this is all about. Smiles, hugs and a fist bump ( ;-) )!

    Slipping on your rules... It really doesn't make much sense why we let this happen, or choose to not to do what needs doing, does it? Sometimes there are things I know I must do, yet I don't, or I delay until the last minute. I don't have to "pay" in the same way as you, but sometimes the consequences are extremely out of proportion to the almost unnoticeable benefit had I simply done those things. I'm not stupid, but failing to do things that must be done is stupid. I really hate when I get stuck on stupid! ;-)

    Hang in there, Scrappy. I think you'll get a handle on what you must do to stay on top of your rules. Hugs!

    Irishey

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    1. Thank you Irishey,

      We are in a good place after this. it reconnected us and reinforced our roles. As you say, the trick is staying there :) I sometimes wonder why it is that we can't always seem to stay in that place. I guess most of it is life getting in the way.

      I agree with you regarding the rules. I have no idea why we let them slip sometimes. Perhaps sometimes we are doing it to test him? I really wish I had the answer. My butt sure would love me for it if I did LoL

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  14. That was so sweet that he applied arnica! Glad you got to reconnect.

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    1. Thanks Renee :)

      It wasn't easy, but it did reconnect us and reinforce our roles. Yes, he surprised me by applying the arnica, he doesn't usually do that.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  15. Hey Roz...hope you are able to stick to your rules and not forget your collar again!

    Hugs and Blessings,
    Cat

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    1. Thanks Cat :)

      I hope so too! I'm pretty sure the collar won't be an issue going forward. It really hold such deep meaning for both of us and I love wearing it, it reminds me of him and of our roles. It was only the specific circumstance that made me forget.

      The bedtime rule though ... that is always a struggle for me - sigh.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  16. Wow, I am happy you were able to reconnect. I have never been naked for a punishment spanking or have ever had to read anything during! You did great. I can not imagine how vulnerable you must have felt. A part of me wants to experience this, but another part says, no way...I guess that's all a part of submission...following through with what we're told even when we don't really want to. What a bittersweet challenge :)

    Hugs,
    Marie

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    1. Hi Marie,

      Thank you so much:) The reconnection and re-establishing our roles was wonderful.

      I generally hate having to be naked, that is also the case for role affirmation as well. it does make me feel so vulnerable, which is why he insists on it. You are right, he insists on it so I comply, even though I don't really want to. It all part of submitting to his authority.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  17. Hey honey

    I'm sorry the panfish meant was so hard, but it sounds like it was exactly what you both needed.

    Oh talking and getting spanked is so so so hard. My H makes me say our rules in order they come sometimes and it's so hard to remember them when my bum is being attacked lol

    I'm glad you two are back on track, you sound happy and that's what counts :)

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    1. Hi Missy,

      Thank you :) It wasn't easy but, much as I don't want to admit it, it was what we both needed and it reconnected us and reinforced our roles.

      Reciting the lines while being spanked was awful! He also has a habit of questioning me during a spanking. Don't they realise how difficult it is to talk and form cohesive sentences while being spanked? Lol

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  18. Hi Roz

    What a great story, you still following his lead even if it is a punishment spanking and him knowing when to give you exactly what you need when you need it

    Bob

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    1. Hi Bob,

      Thank you :) I think as difficult as it may be, it is important to follow his lead at times when we really don't want to, and certainly when it comes to punishment, I always do. After all, I want him to 'step up' and remain consistent. It's also about being held accountable.

      Much as I don't want to admit it, it was what we both needed and it also reconnected us.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  19. I am happy to read your guys reconnected. And as bad as a punishment can be, to me it always shows the caring, and I always learn from it. So did you, you didn't realize just how important the collar is to him!

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    1. Hi Julia,

      Thank you :) it wasn't easy but it did reconnect us so was so worth while in the end. I totally agree. By holding me accountable it lets me know that the issue is important to him and that I am important to him. It lets me know that he cares.

      I know the collar hold significant value and meaning to both of us, but I guess I didn't realise just how much it means to him. That makes me feel even more loved and cared for :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  20. Roz, I am not quite sure what to say. It feels odd to congratulate for having all of the rules reinforced and roles affirmed. But I am glad that it worked out so well. And maybe some accountability and extra rules might be good for awhile. We get so busy that sometimes we forget what is most important. I love the whole collar idea and the message behind it.
    Hugs

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    1. Hi Blondie,

      LoL, I know what you mean. It does feel odd to congratulate each other when we are spanked ... but I guess we do congratulate because we know it works for us.

      It certainly did reinforce the rules and our roles and brought us much closer together. I just love the collar. It is a lovely to have a symbol of us, and of our roles and it reminds me of him when we are apart. There is also something about having something that everybody else can see, but have no idea of it's significance to us.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  21. Getting spanked is no fun but it's good to be over with and back in a good place. Sounds like you guys had a good evening and are doing good.

    The earlier bedtime doesn't sound too fun though. Hopefully you can stick with it :)

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    1. Hi Mischief,

      Thank you :) It certainly wasn't easy, but it did reconnect us and reinforce our roles and we are in a great place now.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  22. Glad things are better between you

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    1. Thank you Tiffany :)

      Things are definitely back on track now. It certainly reconnected us and reaffirmed the rules and our roles. We're in a good place.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  23. Ouchy ouch ouch! Sorry you ended up with a punishment. Michael has never had me write lines thankfully. And I can't even imagine trying to recite them while being spanked. Ack! I'm glad things are back on track for the two of you though. And I imagine you won't forget to wear the collar for awhile either! (((hugs)))

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    1. Hi Grace,

      Thank you :)

      Writing lines truly is awful and reciting them while being spanked was waay worse! It was very humbling.

      It was so worth it in the end though. It reconnected us and reaffirmed our roles. We are in a good place.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  24. Ack! That sounds tough but also nice that he thought it out and he sounded very loving about it too. I'm glad things are well now :) And nice of him to give you arnica. I never know if he's grabbing for lotion or for more ammo. This weekend he got the lotion and then started spanking me again. Ya just never know with them!

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    1. Hi Riley,

      It wasn't easy, that's for sure, but the end result was great. We ended up connected and with rules and roles reinforced.

      LoL, they can be full of surprises can't they? Rick applied the arnica the spanked again later on as well. Normally there are pretty clear signals that the spanking is over, but he surprised me this time putting me back over his lap. I thought uh-oh, here we go again, but then he reached for the arnica instead of the implements LoL

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  25. Its so much better when its all over and done with. Reciting your lines during the spanking sounds particularly dreadful. Although punishment spankings are never fun, especially when there seems to be some sort of implement rotation going on, I'm glad it helped to get you guys back on track and reconnect. Might have to see if I can get my hands on some arnica as well.
    <3Lily

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    1. Hi Lily,

      Reciting the lines in front of him was awful, especially while being spanked! It certainly did reconnect us and get us back on track. So worth it in the end.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  26. HI Roz, glad you are back on track :)

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    1. Thank you Kiwi, we are back on track :)

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  27. I'm with babygirl. When I feel that I have wronged Daddy, I need more to get to the 'squiffy' place as you call it, it's like that declaration of love, that commitment to do what is needed even when it is hard, from him, has the power, not only t reconnect us, but to heal. And that strength and dedication is why we love them so. And as Lily said, everything is soooooo much better when it's over, and you're in his arms.

    (((hugs)))

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    1. Hi June,

      It's so hard when we feel we have wronged or disappointed isn't it? He gives me his forgiveness but it often takes me longer to forgive myself. The fact that he does hold me accountable makes me feel taken care of and lets me know that it matters to him ... that I matter.

      It is soo much better when it is over and we are reconnected and in his arms.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  28. It is nice to know that when we begin to slip there is someone there to catch us and bring us back into the peace that accompanies this kind of relationship.
    Glad you guys are doing so well, Roz
    hugs
    lillie

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    1. Thank you Lillie :)

      Exactly! As I said above, the fact that he holds me accountable and is willing to bring me back to where both of us want me to be shows that it matters to him, and makes me feel so cared for. It's a lovely feeling :)

      It wasn't easy but it reconnected us and reaffirmed our roles.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  29. Ohhhh yikes!!! Having to recite the lines in front of him that way must have made an impression! I know it would for me. As much as im sure the punishment wasnt easy, it sounds like it was done out of so much love and care. :)

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    1. Hi Kenzie,

      Thank you for reading and for your comment. Welcome!

      Oh yes, reciting the lines in front of him was awful, very humbling. It wasn't easy, but it was ultimately worth it to reconnect us and reaffirm our roles.

      I am always amazed at how he can blister my butt, yet be so loving at the same time. Pulling me close to him, holding my hand and telling me he has me.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  30. Ah, Roz, you must be feeling absolutely angelic now! :D Such a nice description, and what a wonderful night for you.

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    1. Hi Ana,

      Um, well, as far as rules and the collar go. I've been a perfect angel since :) However, I have had my moments having difficulty stuffing the control monster! It usually coincides with my OCD - when I decide something really needs to be cleaned, sorted, mowed, weeded etc LoL

      It was a wonderful night of connection.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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  31. While difficult the punishment must have been, I am glad you are feeling more connected. Hugs

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    1. Thank you Terps,

      Yes, we are definitely feeling more connected and more in tune with our roles. It was difficult but it is so worth it for the benefits.

      Hugs,
      Roz

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