Sunday, 23 December 2012

Merry Christmas!

I can't believe Christmas is now right upon us!  I'm now prepared and looking forward to spending the day with family.  I am also looking forward to some time off work with my husband, spending some time with family and some much need R&R.

The events in Newton last week to me is a reminder of how fragile life is and that we should count the many blessings we have.  My heart goes out to those families affected by this tragedy this Christmas.

I feel extremely blessed by my husband, family and friends.  This Christmas I am also blessed and extremely thankful to include all of you as friends.  When I started this blog almost a year ago now, I never imagined the wealth of support, encouragement and advice I would receive.  Not to mention the friendships developed.  My only regret is that I didn't start sooner.

Thank you all so much for your support, encouragement, advice and friendship.  Rick and I are both truly grateful.  I am amazed at the connections we have made.  These connections may not be face to face, but they are as important to us as our 'real life' friends.

I wish we could all get together and celebrate the season.  How wonderful that would be!  We ladies could chat over a glass of submission wine and the guys could chat about how badly behaved angelic their wives/partners are ...  On second thought, that last bit might not be such a good idea!

With the craziness of the last week or so I haven't been able to visit all of you.  Please accept my apologies.  To those of you who have recently contacted me for the first time, welcome!  It is always a thrill to meet new friends and I apologise that I haven't yet been able to pay you a visit.  I promise to do so in the new year!

Christmas is a time to focus on loved ones.  Enjoy opening presents, good food and all the other usual trimmings.  However, we must remember the true meaning of Christmas.  To celebrate the birth of Jesus.

Rick and I wish you all a very Merry Christmas.  We hope you have a safe and blessed Christmas with loved ones and a relaxing and enjoyable holiday.  We will be absent from blogland between Christmas and new year and looking forward to seeing you all safe and well in 2013.

Saturday, 22 December 2012

Christmas - Kiwi Style

My dear friend Wilma has been trying to encourage me in finding the Christmas spirit recently.  Lucy has also joined in by sending me some lovely Christmassy Snoopy pics.  The idea being to replace Scrappy with a happy Snoopy.

Wilma posted this the other day and I commented that I had indeed found the Christmas spirit now.  She didn't seem overly convinced so I thought what better way to convince her that her efforts had worked than by posting some Christmas pics?  Also, I realised I haven't posted anything Christmassy yet!  Shame on you Roz!  ....

... well, there was my last spank free Christmas post, but I guess that doesn't really count.  By the way, it seems most of you actually want a Christmas spanking!  Here was me trying to do something helpful and nice for my fellow submissive wives!  Sheesh - you guys are a tough crowd!

Anywaaay, I digress.  I wanted to find a picture, or clip of a Christmas Scrappy, but alas, that mission appeared um somewhat unsuccessful (oh shush Wilma!)

He really isn't that grumpy you know.  He just wants to be the good guy and fight injustice and the bad guys.

I hope this convinces you that Scrappy isn't always that bad :)

Now for a little Snoopy.  This is really for me :)  I love listening to Snoopy's Christmas every year.  I hope you enjoy

and more Snoopy.  This is the picture sent by Lucy.  Thank you Lucy :)

I want to share a bit of Kiwiana with you.  The tree below is the Pohutukawa tree, or New Zealand Christmas tree.  So named because it flowers at Christmas time

And because it's summer here, a nice scene of a New Zealand beach and a pair of uniquely kiwi jandals  (or thongs, depending on where you're from)

Pukeko in a Ponga Tree 

This is the New Zealand version of the 12 days of Christmas.  Here's what you need to know:

Pukeko: NZ native bird know as  swamp hen
Ponga: NZ tree fern
Kumera: Sweet potato
Piupiu: Skirt or kilt made from strips of flax
Haka: Traditional Maori war dance
Pipi: Small clam or shellfish
Puha: A type of sow thistle eaten as a vegetable in NZ
Pois: Maori word for ball - two balls of the end of rope that are twirled around to make patterns during a Maori dance
Huhu Grub: Small edible bug or beetle found in NZ

On the first day of Christmas

My true love gave to me
A pukeko in a ponga tree
On the second day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Two kumera
And a pukeko in a ponga tree
On the third day of Christmas
and so on, until
On the twelfth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Twelve piupius swinging
Eleven haka lessons
Ten juicy fish heads
Nine sacks of pipis
Eight plants of puha
Seven eels a swimming
Six pois a twirling
Five big fat pigs!
Four huhu grubs
Three flax kits
Two kumera
And a pukeko in a ponga tree!

and just to finish, a slightly more 'traditional' scene for you

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Spank Free Christmas

Things have been going well for us since my last post.  Except, that is, for the last couple of days.  The last couple of days have seen the return of both Scrappy and the Grinch.  I think it's the stress of last minute Christmas prep, trying to arrange to see everyone we usually see pre Christmas and trying to wind everything up at work.  Such a stressful time of year - argh!

Today was a particularly bad day.  I have been 'off' all day.  Snappy and just plain *itchy with my husband - not good!  At one point he looked at me and said

you look like you need a spanking

then later

you need a spanking


today has not been good for you

I see a spanking in my very near future - sigh!

That brings me nicely to my next point.  I think we should declare a moratorium on any spanking (a hall pass if you like) on Christmas day. Heck, lets make it Christmas Day and Boxing Day.  You know, in recognition of our valiant efforts to do our part within our ttwd relationships.  Of course, we don't always succeed (see above lol) but we try.

Perhaps you, my dear bloggy friends would like to join me in a spank free Christmas post to spread the word so that hopefully our men will get the message.

Of course, if you would like a Christmas spanking, be my guest :)

Personally, I think any HoH who spanked his wife Christmas Day would be in the running for the meanest HoH in all of blogland award Lol.  It can't hurt to discourage them from such meanness though can it?

What, or should I say, who gave me this idea?  Ironically, it was actually my husband.  He mentioned the other day that given we are New Zealand and our time zone, I could be the first Dd wife to receive a spanking in 2013!  Can you believe him - the nerve!

Guess it could be a race between me and Kiwi (and any other Dd wives in NZ) for that honour! Lol

I think that would be one race I don't mind losing!

Sunday, 16 December 2012

Shifting Gear

One thing I've learnt on this journey of ours into ttwd is to not take it for granted.  Not to become too complacent or to think you know exactly where you are at and what to expect.

As has been said many times on different blogs, ttwd is a constantly evolving thing and there are times when things are humming along nicely, there are times of change and times of growth.

In my previous post I said that I had mentioned to Rick that it felt like, in regards to ttwd, we were an old married couple.  What I meant by that was that it felt as though the excitement, if you like, of when it was new had diminished to a degree and that we were in phase where it was becoming integrated into life as normal and that we were humming along nicely.  I'm not at all saying that is a bad thing.  I think that is what we are striving for at the end of the day.  I also asked the question as to whether this was common.  Thank you to those of you who commented.

Anyway, although I wasn't telling Rick I thought there was anything wrong, my comment unsettled him.  He was worried that there was something lacking in what he was doing, or that he wasn't showing me enough just how much he loved me and how committed to ttwd he is.  I have reassured him this is not the case.  However, since making that comment he has become more attentive, loving and there has been an increase in shows of dominance.

Something else I have also mentioned on here before is that Rick was not keen on spanking without any infraction.  Therefore we didn't have role affirmation spankings.  Well, that was the case until fairly recently when Rick announced we would try some form of role affirmation.  We did try it once and I wrote about it in this post.  While it was D/s focussed, the spanking itself was very light and the whole thing was more of a fun experience.

That was our one and only role affirmation ....  or so I thought!

On Friday night I received my first 'proper' role affirmation spanking.  Right after my work Christmas function no less.  Big meanie!

We were having some nice alone time after the Christmas function.  Rick is very jealous of our alone time and does not like interruptions.  Therefore, I have a rule during these times that I do not touch any electronic equipment such as television, sound system etc without checking with him first.  That means no touching any remotes. Period.  That's not to say we don't end up watching TV, or listening to music etc, but it is Rick's call how this time is spent.  He always asks me what I would like to do and my wishes are usually taken into account.

I told him I was just going to pop up to the bedroom quickly to tidy up a few things.  He said ok  and off I went.  But, I deviated and went into another room first and turned the computer on.  He heard it.

That doesn't sound like bed making!  came the call from the lounge


Oops, I only turned it on.  I wasn't actually going to do anything on it.

With that he came into the bedroom and told me I knew playing with electronic equipment, or any other distraction was a rule break during our alone times.  I told him I was sorry and that for some reason I hadn't linked the computer to the rule in my head.  Not rocket science I know and I don't know how I never made the association.

He sat on the bed, drew me to him and proceeded to explain to me that it is, and to remember that in future.  I promised I would.

Then came this ....

Lets do some role affirmation

Huh??? ... b-b-but we don't do that

I told you I was going to introduce it 

We then proceeded to talk - well he did.  He told me how important us and ttwd is to him.  How important our roles are and that he needed it just as much as I did to help him maintain his role.  He also said that with the stresses we had been under, the fact that we had both lost our respective roles lately not to mention my recent episodes of less than stellar attitude, it was needed.  I knew that it was not going to be a fun session like the first time.

With that, he proceeded to strip me to my underwear.  That is something he quite often does for more serious corrective spankings.  He does it because I feel more vulnerable and open to him in that state.  I hate it and he knows it, which I suppose is why he continues to do it.

He retrieved the leather paddle, sat down on the bed next to me and rubbed my back.  He said he would start off gently.  Gentle was definitely NOT the way it ended!  He asked me if I wanted him to stop.  (Well Duh!!)  

But, it's not up to me

No.  It's not up to you, but I want to know how you feel.  Whether you want me to stop.

I told him yes and very soon after he did stop but left me if position while he talked to me for a looong time.  Well, it seemed like it at the time anyway.  Why is it our HoH's seem to think we listen better in this position?  Why do they also think we are more capable of answering questions in this position come to think of it?

Finally, he pulled me onto his lap and we talked some more with me sniffing into his shirt all the while.  He told me how proud he was of me and my efforts to submit to him.  How proud he was of my blogging and the connections I have made with the community.  I asked him when he had decided to do role affirmation.  Had he intended to do it then or did he think about it because of the computer thing.  He said he had thought about it beforehand and had decided Friday was the night.  For some reason I don't understand, I have this need to know that he has thought about things before he acts.  Of course, there are times when he reacts instantaneously to a situation, but I have this need with something like this, or where there has had to be a delay before a corrective spanking that he has given it thought.

I told him he had really surprised me as I knew he couldn't easily reconcile to the idea of spanking with no infraction.  His response was maybe it showed growth in him.  He also said he took his job of leading us seriously and was determined to steer us toward growth.  Then came this little gem

I also read what you say on the blog and listen to what you tell me from other blogs and what role affirmation does for them and I take it all away and think about it.

Well, colour me stupid!  We all know you should NEVER let your HoH near other blogs, let alone TELL him what is on them!  Duh!  Clearly I should never have told him about Lillie's experiences with maintenance - how they started out to what they have become!!

After a bit more talking I asked him in a cutesy way whether he wanted to see his handiwork.  In a flash I was OTB again while he admired my scorched butt, rubbing it gently.  One thing led to another and he ended up finding another way to dominate me.

You are mine

Come for me baby.  That's it

See.  I can spank you, and I can make you come

Clearly role affirmation had worked for him and I guess he is still in HoH mode because I told him about the post Clint recently put up on Learning Domestic Discipline regarding multiple spankings in one day.  (I can't remember what lead me to tell him that now)

Well, if a Woman can have multiple orgasms, she can have multiple spankings what could I possibly say to that!

Today we were driving to a specific shop in an area we don't frequent that often.  Have I mentioned just how terrible I am with anything remotely associated with maths of geography?  I thought I knew where we were going but had the shop mixed up with another and said to Rick

Just as well you're driving

Yeah, who knows where we would end up with you driving

Double meaning anyone?  We had a good laugh at that.

Speaking of driving ...  to keep with my analogy of ttwd being like driving a stick shift, I liken it to changing great.  Once you master taking off without bunny hopping you cruise along for a little while in first gear, then you pick up too much speed for first gear and have to shift to a higher gear.  I guess that's what has happened here.  It seems Rick has shifted into a higher gear.  One that includes role affirmation.  Wish me Luck!

Saturday, 15 December 2012

Thoughts and Prayers for Newton, CT

This is such a terrible and inconceivable tragedy.  I have no words.

Our thoughts and prayers go out to the families of the victims.

Thursday, 13 December 2012

DD Blog Award and Random Ramblings

Warning:  This is a rather disjointed post with lots of different thoughts. Apparantly I have a lot to say - that's nothing new according to my husband :)  If you can stomach reading further, please do so.  If not, I won't be offended :)  

First off, I should say it is safe to come back here again, I promise!  My days of HoHy'ness and spanking silliness are over.  It was fun while it lasted but my husband said I had my fun and that I had better pour myself a glass of submission find my submissive self.

Today I was most humbled and honoured to discover my blog was the recipient of a Sharing DD Blog award voted on over at A Domestic Discipline Society.  My sincere thanks to those of you who voted for these awards.

In this post, I talked about how we had both been under a bit of stress (mainly my husband), how he  had been greatly disappointed to discover his idol, Bruce Springsteen wouldn't be visiting New Zealand on his current world tour and how the Grinch had gotten a hold of me, along with Scrappy.

Rick and I would both like to extend our heartfelt thank you to those of you who left us such wonderful comments on that post.  They were truly uplifting.  Also, thank you to Wilma and Lucy for the lovely emails you sent.

I'm happy to say I took Wilma's great advice and put Scrappy out to play with the other neighbourhood pooches (although he escapes back inside every now and then).  Lucy also kindly suggested I should replace him with this

I am not entirely out of the woods yet.  Scrappy is still lurking, but I am feeling much better within myself and much more submissive and heading back to where I want to be.

I have, however, managed to ditch the Grinch and have even found some Christmas spirit.  Yay!  Rick and I put some time aside last weekend and tackled a lot of the Christmas shopping together.  We are now almost done so some of the stress and angst I was feeling has gone.

You, my bloggy friends have played a big part in helping me find the Christmas spirit with your encouragement and Christmas posts (thanks Wilma *wink*.  Also thanks to June for her wonderful Christmas Tardar Sauce posts - weren't they hilarious?)

Oh, I should warn you.  I have my work Christmas function tomorrow.  Soo ... if I happen to comment on your blogs tomorrow night I might not be making much sense after a glass of submission or two ... or three ... or four ... or -  heck, who knows!

The other day Rick and I were talking and he said the words "old married couple" in jest.  I replied "that's how it feels".  He was astounded and somewhat upset by my reply.  I quickly explained that what I meant was that things just didn't feel ... I don't know ... quite as 'exciting' as they did before.  We talked about this and wondered whether it was a case of DD becoming more embedded into our relationship and more of the "norm" for us now.  Perhaps things have just "settled" now that we have been at this for a while.  Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying we are in a rut or that anything with the relationship is not working.  Far from it!  We also remain totally committed to this lifestyle.

I am curious as to whether any of you who have been living this lifestyle for a while can shed any light as to whether this may be the case - whether we may be going through a more "settled" phase.

Anyway ... As I said, Rick was a bit shaken by my comment and asked whether he was failing in any way.  Whether he was neglecting to show his love for me.  I assured him this was definitely not the case.  Since that conversation he has been super attentive to me and so loving, whispering lots of sweet nothings in my ear etc.  He just makes me melt - and I love it!  And I love him, so much.

My poor long suffering husband has had a few work related disaapointments recently on top of the disapointment of missing out on seeing the Boss.  We were talking about the latest disappointment over lunch today and I told him how sorry I was and that I felt maybe I was holding him back career wise.  (I had my reasons for saying that which I won't go into here).  His response was that I could never hold him back and that even if that was the case he had everything he wanted right here with me and that I meant more to him than any career advancement.  I totally melted.  Those words meant so much to me. He is truly the love of my life, my soul mate.  (Remind me I said that next time I complain about being spanked! Lol).

Back to Bruce for a minute.  A nilla friend sent me these pictures today taken from the Hurricane Sandy relief concert.  Our idea of music heaven.  I'm a huge Bon Jovi fan so Jon and the Boss together is priceless!

Sunday, 9 December 2012

Virtual Spanking Anyone?

There is definitely something in the air at the moment.  Many of us are struggling with stress and embracing our submissive selves.

Since this is such a wonderfully supportive community and we are all about helping each other when we are struggling I got to thinking.

... what can I do to help  some of my blog mates who are struggling right now?

Then it came to me.

... I know, I could give them a virtual spanking!

Of course, we have our HoH's to take care of us and our needs, and they do a damn good job of it!  Still, I thought why not lend a hand?  You know, a little extra incentive.  Besides, if Rogue can get to give real spankings (lucky girl!) I can give a virtual spanking - right?

So.  Those of you who are in need of a spanking, or maybe just want one :)  Please assume the position now (tapping wooden paddle on my palm)

Are you ready?

You sure?

Ok, lets get this over with.  You know you need it and it will be good for you.  It will help get you centered and focussed and you will feel much better afterwards.  Lecture - check. Hmm, not too bad for a first time!

Here we go

smack ...... smack ...... smack ...... smack ...... smack ...... smack ...... smack

Stop laughing at me!  You know, this isn't as easy as we girls think it is!

smack .. smack .. smack .. smack .. smack .. smack .. smack ..

Am I getting through to you yet?  Wow, this is quite buzzy.  I'm starting to enjoy this!


SMACK ... SMACK ... SMACK ... SMACK ... SMACK ... smack ... smack ... smack ,,,

How about now?  Oh I am?  Good.  Just a few more

SMACK ,,, SMACK ... SMACK ... SMACK ... smack ... smack ... smack... SMACK

OK, we're done.  Now take your sorry butt away and behave!

Now.  Where's my husband.  I need to find my submissive self again after that dom rush!

Friday, 7 December 2012

What A Week! Getting My Scrappy On

WARNING.  This is a somewhat jumbled venting post and contains no spanking (well details of anyway :)  Proceed with caution at your own peril Lol

This week has been a bad one, both for us personally and our little country.

Yesterday a tornado ripped through part of one of our major cities killing 3 people, injuring a number of others and displacing a number of businesses and families.

While it didn't affect us and may not sound that bad, it was a fairly newsworthy event for little old New Zealand (and overseas from what I gather).  My heart goes out to those families who lost loved ones and to those dealing with the aftermath and clean up or who are affected in some way.

It has also been a bad week for us.  There just seems to have been a number of things that cropped up that have caused both of us, mainly my husband, a ton of stress.

Before I continue, there is something you need to know about my husband.  He has two great loves - astronomy and Bruce Springsteen.  Ok, two great loves that is besides me :)

The Boss is my husband's idol and thanks to my husband, I too have become a big fan.

Bruce is in the middle of a world tour at the moment and since the tour was announced we have been watching keenly for details of tour dates.  NZ is normally too small to attract big acts, but for various reasons, we held a small glimmer of hope that the tour would reach our shores.

This week, tour dates for our part of the world were announced.  The news we got wasn't good.  There are to be no New Zealand concerts, but several across Australia.

No problem right?  It is just across the ditch.  Book some tickets already!  Only problem is, for us that ditch may as well be the other side of the world.  It is not achievable for us.

We are both disappointed, but my husband is simply gutted, especially on top of the other stresses during the week.  My heart aches for him.  I feel awful and it's worse knowing there is absolutely nothing I can do to make it better.

I am going to unashamedly ask you, my bloggy friends, to help me try to cheer him up by leaving him some empathetic comments.

On top of the stresses this week and my husband's bitter disappointment, the HORRORMOANS have started to kick in for me.  What does that mean?  Yup - heeeello Scrappy!

Reading through the blogs there seems to be something in the air at the moment.  It seems a number of us are struggling with submission and respect at the moment.  Let me tell you.  I have not been immune this week!  Scrappy is well and truly with me, spurred on no doubt by the HORRORMOANS - Argh!

This unfortunately also seems to be a pattern for me this time of year.  The stress of the season turns me into this.

Today has been particularly bad.  This post of Susie's comes to mind.  Not only have I been grumpy and disrespectful to my husband on an alarmingly regular basis this week, but I had to deal with some buck passing etc at work today.  Result?  I was  b****y with almost everyone at work today, whether they deserved it or not.  Ok, none of them deserved it.  My husband, of course, is less than impressed by my behaviour.

At lunch time I dragged my poor suffering still disappointed husband round some shops trying to get more of the Christmas shopping done.  I showed him something which he said was a tad expensive.  I then pouted and started muttering words such as "I give up", "I quit", "Iv'e had it", "what's the point, you're going to say no" etc.  Yes, I can hear you gasping now.  Oh shut up, I know!! - childish tantrum.

At one point my husband said "I need to take you home and spank you".  And later  "you need a spanking".

It hasn't happened - yet!

Maybe he's right - Sigh!!

Sunday, 2 December 2012

Mr BB's DD Questions Answered

In this post Mr BB posed some very interesting DD related questions.  I said I would answer them on my blog but haven't been able to get to it until now.  My apologies for the delay.

These were great questions and they really made me think about our own dynamic so it was a great exercise for me.  Thank you Mr BB!

When did you first hear about Domestic Discipline?
I can't remember exactly.  I think it was about two years ago.

What drew you to finding out more about Domestic Discipline?
We had played around with D/s dynamics before commencing DD.  However, it felt more like role playing and we wanted something that felt more natural and that was a lifestyle rather than an occasional game.

Also, I have naturally submissive tendencies in that I generally defer to others to make decisions.  Therefore, I was already deferring to my husband in this area and we wanted to take this further.

Is Domestic Discipline a lifestyle choice for you?
Absolutely.  Although we have some fun with it, we take it very seriously and it underpins how we relate to each other.  There is also no 'vacation' from DD.

Have you heard of Domestic Discipline outside of anything to do with a blog/forum?
No.  I hadn't heard of it until I found Taken In Hand, which was the first blog I came across on the subject.  My husband found it actually.

Do you feel that Domestic Discipline is only for married couples?
No.  In my view this is something any couple can introduce into their relationship whether married or not, living together or not.  However, it does of course pose some challenges for couples that don't live together.

Are single and dating people a part of the DD community too?
This lifestyle does require a deep bond and understanding between the couple and trust in each other in order to work properly.  As long as these factors are present I don't see why single or dating people shouldn't be a part of the DD community.

In your opinion or practice, is Domestic Discipline ONLY for disciplinary reasons?
While discipline is an important tool within our DD dynamic it is not the entire focus.  For us, it is about mutual respect and the way we communicate and interact with each other on a daily basis.  It improves our communication, helps me to react/respond to my husband more respectfully and not in the ways I used to before DD.

It also helps resolve any conflicts and has reduced my stress levels by leaning on my husband more and by him making the ultimate decisions.

When did you feel you understood what a HoH style Dominant and TiH style submissive really was?
It has taken a year or more to come to grips with this and I'm not sure I understand it fully still.  It's a constant learning curve.  We are also constantly developing and evolving in our roles.

What is TiH List, HoH Rules, SitDD, PoD, Tolerance LaDDer?
They are all tools available to a couple in a Domestic Discipline relationship.
TiH List - a list made by the TiH of things she feels she needs to work on, goals she wishes to achieve.
HoH Rules - rules established by the HoH for the TiH to follow.  These are developed from the TiH list.
SitDD - a discussion between the HoH and TiH about their DD relationship, how the TiH is tracking towards her goals etc
PoD - progression of discipline - the progression of discipline from the first, second, and subsequent occurances of a misdemeanour made by the TiH.
Tolerance laDDer - measurement of the pain tolerance of the TiH to spanking.

What are the differences or similarities between Christian Domestic Discipline & Domestic Discipline?
I'm not really sure as we practice Domestic Discipline.  However, the impression I get is that there is little difference between the two, except that couples who practice CDD are guided by religion in their DD journey.

(in your own words) What is Domestic Discipline?
Domestic Discipline is a consensual lifestyle adopted by a couple where one partner becomes the Head of the Household or HoH and the other partner submits to the authority of the HoH.  The HoH has ultimate authority and is the final decision maker.  Both parties agree to a set of household rules and the HoH may establish rules for the submissive to follow.  It is also agreed the HoH will correct the submissive for any breaking of the rules, unacceptable/undesirable behaviour by use of discipline, including spanking.

The aim of Domestic Discipline is to enhance the relationship.  Create more intimacy and closeness and above all, to create domestic harmony, both within the household and relationship.  It is also a means for each partner to develop and grow as individuals.

Domestic Discipline is practiced differently by each couple and each couple needs to find the balance that works for them.