Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Taking Self Responsibility

I am grumpy.  I am tired, grumpy and pretty frustrated with myself right now.

If you have read previous posts then you know getting enough rest and going to bed at a reasonable enough hour is a big problem for me.  You will also know that this recently got me into some major trouble.

Since landing myself in hot water ....  or should I say, with hot buns, I have been careful to ensure I have not gone to bed late enough to get me in trouble again, and I have definitely gone to bed when told on nights when he is away (obviously, this is not a problem when he's home), as opposed to maybe an hour or so later.  I definitely don't want to repeat that mistake again quite so soon!

Anyway, despite this, it seems I have still not been getting enough sleep the last few days to function properly and today I crashed.  I was moody at work, and unable to cope properly with questions asked of me or with tasks that are usually not a problem.  As is the usual pattern, I finally started to come alive by late afternoon, but spent the majority of the day felling physically drained and awful.

So, I sit here typing this post tired and grumpy - can you tell?

My husband also said he felt it was partly his fault for not taking enough responsibility.  This also made me feel bad.

This is something I, of course, can control and it shouldn't be that hard to do.  I don't need my husband's permission to go to bed, and surely I shouldn't have to need for him to tell me when to do so.  I am (supposedly) a grown woman after all.

Just because I live this amazing lifestyle with my husband, and this means that if he sees I am not taking care of myself properly he will take action, I shouldn't rely on him to do so.  Also, is it fair for me to rely on him to control such basic things?

Having an HoH does not absolve me from taking self responsibility.

Saturday, 22 September 2012


Today, 23 September is a day of double celebration for us.

It marks the first day of spring here in New Zealand, or Godzone as we Kiwi's like to call it.  The spring blooms are already out, the days are getting longer and I can't wait for the warmer, sunnier days ahead - yay!

Today is also my husband Rick's birthday - hip hip hooray!

He is my soul mate and my world.  He is strong, kind, thoughtful, compassionate, funny and makes me feel cherished every single moment of every single day - sigh

He is the most amazing and important person in my life and I don't know what I would do without him.

Happy Birthday my love.  Thank you for everything you do and give me - yes, even that :) Thank you for your strength, your support, your comfort, your protection, your guidance and leadership, and above all, your love and for being you.

Oh nearly forgot - I promise to behave today .... no behaviour banishment required :)

Thursday, 20 September 2012

Banishing Bad Behaviour

My last post was a long one.  Sorry about that ..... that's what you get after a week off the blog ... blame my husband :)

I'll go easy on you this time and keep this short.

(Just get on with it Roz) - Ok, here goes ....

Well .... we were in the pet shop a little while ago when my husband spied something, gleefully plucked it off the shelf and showed it to me with a huge grin on his face.


Look honey he said with a gleam in his eye.  They should make an edition for wives, don't you think?

Did I tell you he was a comedian?


Have a spanking (or non-spanking) good day :)

Monday, 17 September 2012

Return From Exile

If you saw the previous post from my big meanie darling husband you will know I was grounded from blogland for the past week.  I have missed my bloggy friends and reading your posts and comments and am soo glad to be back.

Sorry, this is a bit of a long post.  You might want to grab a coffee, or something stronger:) pull up a pew and settle in.

Things had been going well, I had managed to not get spanked for about 5 weeks (can you believe it, cos I can't!).  In fact, the only punishment I received during this time was having to write sillyannoying lines once.

... and then ...

As the saying goes, all good things must come to an end.  The damn burst, suddenly I went from obeying all rules, having the right attitude and being respectful to breaking the same rule three times in just about as many days.

I failed to go to bed when instructed to do so by my husband.  When he is away overnight, if I haven't already informed him I am going to bed and said goodnight he will eventually instruct me to go to bed.  Of course, when he is home this is never a problem, I diligently head off (ok, occasionally stalk off) to bed when asked.  However, when he is away it is just too easy to think to myself I'll just do this, that or the next thing then go to bed, and before you know it, an hour or more has passed.

As as bit of background, I am a complete night owl.  I come alive at night and left to my own devices won't make it to bed until the wee small hours.  This of course means I am exhausted and grumpy the next day, which is not a good thing when having to get up early and carry out a full time job.

This is why my husband instructs me when to go to bed.  I also have a great deal of difficulty either getting to sleep or staying asleep most nights.  I think my husband struggles with this, he doesn't want to send me to bed only for me to toss and turn all night.  This whole sleep thing is just a bad pattern for me.  It's an issue that has raised its ugly head several times previously and resulted in several consequences.

Anyway, back to the story ... things had been going well until I failed to follow my husband's instructions three times in about as many days.  Also, I had recently become a little too engrossed in blogland and a large contributing factor to this failure to obey my husband was that I was 'busy' on my computer, um, blogging.

Well, I received a spanking for this (no big surprise there).  End of story - right?


The very next night (being a work night) I didn't go to bed until close to 2am.  What was I thinking?  I had just been spanked for this!  To pinch a phrase from Susie ... what a noodlehead!  Needless to say my husband was much less than impressed, especially given I had just been spanked for the same offence.

As a consequence I was grounded from blogland and also had a strict bedtime imposed every night.  Oh yeah, I also received an extremely thorough spanking.  In fact, it was the most serious spanking I have received so far.  My husband told me he had decided the grounding needed to be reinforced with a spanking.  The grounding had taken care of the blogging side of the issue but a spanking was warranted for staying up until 2am the very next night after a spanking for the same thing.  Also due to it being a repeat offence.

Boy, did he make it count! He told me it was going to be a serious spanking and that he didn't want to have to spank me again for this issue.  Afterwards while he was comforting me, he said the spanking had been really hard for him to do and that he had to steel himself to carry it out, but that he knew it was the right thing in the circumstances.  Awe, Schuks.  I really sympathise with you hon.  Really, I do.

I know I have claimed previous spankings to be the worst I have had.  Hmm, I wonder how many times I might same the same thing in future posts.  Yikes, I don't really want to think about that - ouch!

For some reason, once I had recovered from the spanking, later that night I started to get a little feisty with him and I have no idea why.  Perhaps this was my way of releasing the feelings of relief that the whole issue had now been dealt with.  Again, NOODLEHEAD!!  he told me I was heading in the right direction for another spanking but thankfully this didn't happen.

Yep, it was a hard week.  I tried hard to accept and submit to my husband's decision regarding the ban and bedtime with grace and the correct attitude.  The first couple of days I was in a bit of a sulk but this soon lifted.  The first night going to bed was awful.  I was feeling very sorry for myself.

Resisting the temptation to go on the computer and enter blogland was also hard.  I receive notifications on my phone whenever comments are posted on my blog and I was not allowed to read the comments, or even look to see who they were from.  It was soo tempting to take a peek, but I am so glad that I didn't.  After all, I agreed to this lifestyle and to accept consequences as my husband see fits.  Also, we want consistency from our husbands don't we?  Not to mention that I totally trust him, and respect his authority.

I admit, this has been good for me.  I did, naturally, feel the benefits of the extra sleep.  It was also good to find other things to do with my evenings.  Hmm, what should I do now?  some washing?  dishes?  paint my nails?  Nah, I know, I'll dye my hair, maybe bright purple - he'll love that!

This is also new ground for us.  This is the first time multiple and sustained consequences have been imposed and the first time I have had privileges removed or had a specific bedtime imposed.  My man is definitely growing in, and embracing his role more and more.  Dang :)

During this time I have felt even closer to my husband (if that is even possible).  I have felt extremely vulnerable and have constantly wanted to feel his comforting arms around me and hold on tight to him.  My emotions have been right there just waiting to spill over at any moment.  I found every submissive bone in my body.  I think this is because my husband, in taking charge and taking the action he did, made me feel loved and cared for and that I matter to him.  I tend to feel this way every time I am disciplined.

It has been a hard week for both of us, and intense given the number of 'firsts', but also a good one for our relationship.  The whole process has made us even closer.  But, I will be VERY mindful and careful now about my blogging and getting enough rest.  I know my husband is watching me closely.

Friday, 14 September 2012

Blogging Ban

Hi all, I am Rick and I have the great privilege and honour of being Roz's husband and HoH. Unfortunately, I have had to ban Roz from the blogging world for a little while due to her staying up too late at night. This is hard on the heels of a spanking that I administered to her for the same thing.

I am supportive of Roz and her blogging and I know that she derives great enjoyment and insight from all the blogs she follows. But I made it clear to Roz that if I thought the blogging was either becoming too much of an obsession or she was staying up too late then I would stand her down.  

It has recently become apparent to me that Roz has been taking blogging a little too seriously in general.  This has also resulted in her staying up far too late on her computer reading blogs and and working on this blog.

As I am sure you can understand this is not good for her health, which is my main concern. She has a full time job to contend with and therefore early mornings and she was going to work exhausted.

As well as standing Roz down from blogging, there have also been other consequences (which I'm sure she will elaborate on further in due course). I have to say I have been impressed with her attitude so far and how she has handled the situation. She has gone out of her way to show her commitment to me and to our relationship and is showing me the greatest respect.

I didn't want to have to stand Roz down. However, I felt this was a situation I could not allow to continue for Roz's own sake.

I am sorry it has taken me a few days to post this, but rest assured Roz will be back with you shortly.

Saturday, 8 September 2012

Roz's Top Twenty

You remember Stormy's ABCs of TTWD challenge right?

Well, often when I listen to music I hear a song that makes me think hey, that would make a good DD song or anthem.  So I thought I would list my top twenty for you for fun (plus some cheeky spanking songs!)

So here they are:
  1. Stand By Your Man - Tammy Wynette
  2. Morning Train - Sheena Easton
  3. Everything I do, I do it For You - Bryan Adams
  4. You Needed Me - Anne Murray
  5. Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Middler
  6. You Light Up My Life - Debbie Boone
  7. Power of Love - Jennifer Rush
  8. Natural Woman - Carole King
  9. Sometimes When We Touch - Dan Hill
  10. Amazed - Lonestar
  11. Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon and Garfunkel
  12. River Deep, Mountain High - Celine Dion
  13. Can't Stop This Thing We Started - Bryan Adams
  14. Hopelessly Devoted To You - Olivia Newton John
  15. I'll Be There - The Jackson 5
  16. Before The Next Teardrop Falls - Freddy Fender
  17. Close To You - Carpenters
  18. Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now - Starship
  19. Glory Of Love - Peter Cetera
  20. Up Where We Belong - Joe Cocker/Jennifer Warnes

Top spanking songs (Ok, maybe not actual spanking songs, but the titles are good - Don't ya think? (wink, wink)
  1. Hit Me With Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar
  2. Hanky Panky - Madonna
  3. Whip It - Devo
  4. Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick - Ian Dury and the Blockheads
  5. Ring Of Fire - Johnny Cash
  6. Hit Me Baby One More Time - Britney Spears
  7. Would You Say Thank You If I Spanked You - Turbomen
  8. Hurts So Good - John Mellencamp
  9. Love Hurts - Nazareth
  10. Spank My Booty - Lords Of Acid

My husband says the following songs are banned.  Can you believe him? 
  • I Am Woman - Helen Reddy
  • Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves - Aretha Franklin
OK, now its your turn.  Why don't you see if you can add to the list, or make your own list.

Monday, 3 September 2012

Missing My Man and "Neediness"

My husband was away this past weekend and I missed him terribly.  He is my soul mate, my rock and I felt like a big part of me was missing.

Since starting DD we communicate more about our feelings.  Everything is so much more intimate and close and the connection we have is strong.  We were good at communicating our feelings and had an amazing connection prior to DD but it is so much more enhanced now.

All these things are wonderful benefits of ttwd.  However, the flip side of course, is that it makes any separation so much harder.

Also, since DD, in giving him my submission and embracing his leadership I feel so much more feminine but also a great deal of vulnerability.  I just feel more.  The closeness and connection we share is powerful and can be downright overwhelming at times.  

I worry that this vulnerability makes me emotionally 'needy'.  Then I worry about whether this 'neediness' places extra pressure and stress on him.  I mean, he already has the responsibility of leadership, including being the ultimate decision maker right?