I am currently waiting, contemplating a pending punishment. It turns out sending a rant via text to your HoH is not the smartest move a girl can make. Who knew!
Waiting for punishment really sucks, let me tell you! Due to our circumstances punishments are not always able to be carried out immediately. This time I have had to wait almost a week - but the wait is almost over, I am to be punished tomorrow - one more sleep!
I hate being in the situation of waiting for punishment. It is there gnawing away on my mind from time to time, making it extremely difficult to think about anything else. What will it be? How harsh will it be? What can I do to get out of it/mitigate it? (Oops, did I say that?) That awful feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach comes and goes.
Rick, of course, has the task of determining the punishment so I am sure it is also on his mind, although he doesn't show it. If he is not ready/able to punish immediately due to circumstances or because he feels he needs time to give consideration to the punishment, he carries on as normal and goes about his normal daily routine until he decides it is time. I am sure this is not entirely the case but it is how it appears to me.
In my last post I mentioned I have a bit of an OCD streak that occasionally gets me into trouble. It is the OCD that has got me into my current predicament. Well, that's my story anyway.
Last Sunday I had planned certain chores and things around the home I wanted to get done before the start of the working week. Rick had other plans for me, he wanted to spend the afternoon out enjoying each others company as he wasn't going to be home that night.
Well, all the chores I wanted to do prayed on my mind and my attitude was less than in should have been during our outing. I whined and moaned about all I still had to do and in the end Rick told me you will do this, that and the other and the rest can wait, as it wasn't really necessary for me to complete everything that night and there also wouldn't be enough time. I made it plain that I wasn't happy with this directive.
Later that evening I got myself so worked up trying to get everything done I had been told to and feeling very niggled about the jobs I was not permitted to tackle that night. I decided I have better text Rick to let him know where I was at and that I was complying with what he had told me. Unfortunately, the text turned into an outlet for me to vent my frustration.
I got a fairly swift reply that left me in no doubt that he was not happy! He told me my rant was totally unacceptable and that we would "talk" about it - (yeah right, I know what "talk" means buddy!)
The next day we had a bit of a discussion about my rant - well, I should say Rick started the lecture. Let me tell you, the man is the king of the lecture! He explained how my rant had made him feel, that my whole attitude during out outing made him feel unimportant and that I would rather have been left alone to get the chores completed that I wanted to do. He also explained that he does try to understand my need for things to be orderly and always tries to cater for that in planning. Hearing how my actions had affected him made me feel awful and some tears were shed, followed by Rick comforting me. He is the master of the lecture but also the master of providing after care.
During the lecture Rick also told me he considered it a serious issue and that had it have happened face to face I would have been over the bed so fast my head would spin and the paddle given a good work out. This is the first time I have shown such blatant disrespect and the first punishment for such behaviour and I get the feeling that maybe he plans to make a statement.
Rick then said he was considering punishment but he could almost certainly tell me I would be spanked - hence the wait. I mentioned that I don't like having to wait and that waiting is hard. His reply was that maybe I should think about that the next time I am tempted to send such a disrespectful text.
Sigh! - one more sleep!
Will keep you posted.